Ok, well, so quickly I got something to share. Actually, I should say I always want to write down one particular experience but I never got around to do it, but the quote by Oscar Wilde, " We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible." somewhat reminded me of it, as I always wish I could re-experience it.
I have been thinking how I could go to that transient state of mind, maybe called "trance", though everyday I space out alot. I remember a fren asking me why I always spaced out - I said, it's a way to escape to my thinking world. haha....it cracked them up real bad. Good that they know I am a bit "normal".
OK, the experience happened when I was in first year at Melbourne - and I joined a church group like a youth christian group and we went for a camp. Maybe if you are catholic or non-pentecostal denomination, you wouldnt have the experience of "speaking in tongue", actually it's one of the gifts depicted in the Book of Acts. Anyhow, honestly I dont know why at that time we would go into the woods, led by the mature leaders, to ask God for the gift of tongue. They started bili bala. And I was praying within that I wanted to bili bala, it sounded so cool, man!!! And there, a scream - actually one of the younger ones like me was screaming like hell, and well, yes he was demon-possessed. So the elder ones pressed him down and started exorcising him "casting out the demons". They asked "him" what they were, and they named various names like this god or that god...etc. More than one spirit, yes. And then there at that moment, of coz we were all supposed to be praying - I started "SINGING in tongue". And, tell u what, in my head - I was thinking, that must be how the angels sang. (now, it seems many think I am good at Karaoke, but then I was timid and I sang SUPER out of tune ALL the time), so I remembered I was singing in perfect tunes, not tunes of any melody I heard. I couldnt remember how and what it sounded like, but it was angelic.
And I even raised my hands and started singing. I mean, I kinda erased most of the memory now, but I vaguely felt a light somewhere......(though it could be a street lamp, haha, but there shouldnt be street lamp somewhere in the wood). And I walked slowly to him - though I was stopped by others, as I guess they think demons are touch-transferred haha....but I walked back to the possessed guy and he was screaming and I was singing. I remember I prayed for him & pressed him down. (he was getting up like a snake, kinda bizzare)
Everything stopped, and we went back to our room. There, a bigger elderly christian asked me if I could say "jesus is lord"...I got super offended as she thought I was demon-possessed too. People, are just so narrow-minded, they could speak in tongue but not sing...??? Of coz I was young, I became eternally wounded by it.
And now, as I ponder back, that was one of my illuminations or peak experience. And I so want to relive it - as I think, if I could recall - it was just angelic, tranquil, finally understood.............but thanks to that shitty jealous bitch, I was brought from angelic presence to a hellistic hole.
But, I feel I will have that moment of peak, that moment of wrapped illumination. I dunno if I could sing in tongue again, coz it never repeated it ever.....
-----------------------------------
Note:
Lately, many of previous life has flashed back before my eyes and I would take a moment to ask why I have such flash back. For e.g. I saw the scene whereby asking my professor to be my mentor as I was to write a paper of "caffiene", I couldnt recall the title - but I recall that she was shocked that someone would want to write about it, I think I said something like "I like coffee, and U like coffee", and she gladlt accepted my proposal, though I never finished the paper, as it was just way too difficult to establish my arguing points, and actually not many studies enough to help me put the paper together. - and she looks like a witch, ie my thinking.
I dunno why many tedious moments are flashing before my eyes, and I think maybe one of these days I am going to write in a chronological orders of such flash backs or something.....I feel there's a significance in it - that may help me bring to my realization of a question I desperately need an answer.
"Peak experiences are transient moments of self-actualization." Abraham Maslow
No comments:
Post a Comment