Butterfly feeling

Why they use butterfly feeling? I mean if you are nervous and feel funny in the stomach, it should be called bird feeling or bee feeling - U see, when butterflies flip their wings, actually it's not that "flippy" or "flappy".

Exactly now ie how I feel inside from my heart to stomch. It's so not butterfly but like an eagle flipping its wings grumbling insdie. Or maybe they use butterfly in the vocab coz it's supposed to be short-lived?

Anyways, I just want to scream..............ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

March Update & Scattered Thoughts

I am not sure - if it's this new place, I slept earlier than usual for past 1 week. Or maybe my subconscience is following someone's schedule. I have been up nowadays at 7 or 8am, slept before 1am..........it's good sign!!!

So MORNING BUDDIES & MORNING HONG KONG!

Abit drizzling outside.

Seriously this morning, I am thinking of my friend in Japan. He was very emotional when he called me few weeks ago, of coz it's about the nuclear radiation, etc; yet I hvnt heard from him for 2 weeks. I hope he is ok. I hope he could somehow get a ticket so he cud take a break in HK. 

OK, March gone by without any compassion on my poor soul, literally poor. WorkWise, SHIT - everything slow slow slow, delayed delayed delayed, stopped stopped stopped!!! DogWise - suck but now good, as they are not with me,........hahahahahahaha, like a mom letting her relatives taking care of her kids, I am FREE. I dont get woken up by them for days, yet my dark circles are worse - shit, I am supposed to be tortured, destined to have a tortured soul. LuvWise - Good. Nice. Happy.

You ever think why the heck that old time US series like Ally Mcbeal, Friends, X Files, etc - they just rock your world; the ones nowadays just dont have much substance. Even e.g. Fringe, if they didnt talk about alternate universe, I wouldnt want to watch it. I luv alternate universe, I knew it existed since Primary 3.(I HATE THAT ACTRESS, She's ugly and CANT ACT and most of ALL, NO CHARISMA - CANNOT BE CANNOT BE Sci-Fi chick, plzzzzzz)

Realized 2 of my frenz are preg, I am so excited. I am going to be their godmom even they ask or not. I have been collecting alotta godkids, but god-dog-son is exclusively ONE - CURLY.............Muah.

And this month, I am seriously starting to ponder abit how to start my book, I hope by end Apr, I would make up my decision on which topics. And I beg of you, my subconsious world, give me another soul rocking dream so I would kick my ass N start doing it. I think I will do the sci-fi one, never like easy outlet anyways!

Last but not the least-ly thought, I met a very adorable german dude. He is not afraid to express his feeling, while I believe it's first time ever I could just say what I think without caring the other person's feeling as much. Though, I still think I should shut up more......too many of you have warned me to shut up more and dont speak my mind so nakedly at times. Well, guess I should try..........nah.......yea.........nah........yea......

YAWN by DAWN

POLL

I want to know what book content I should write!

1. My sci-fi based dreams - expanding into various Dawnism theories. The problem is that it's so complicated in terms of structuring the story. But I have to say I luv this the most too, as I got dreams since 14, 15yo - they are wicked, water monsters, end of time, building dissolving like butter with one touch, matrix-like using human as energy source, plus lately glasswinged angel, underwater training......................wowowowowowowow........they r just way too exciting. Of coz, I would use some of Bruce Wayne's dreams too, as his are super WICKED as well - his plots are more detailed scripted. ummm....................

2. Just simply about me. About how I think......what makes an ordinary becomes so extra-ordinary. hehe. Alittle bit of psychoanalysis based on Dawnism too. However, I could easily just extract some entries here N paste together as a book. Hence good thing is - it's FAST.

Poll - (1) is abit epic, takes long time but could easily turn into another Lord of The Rings; (2) I could change the world with Dawnism theories and its fast

Morning Princess

"shy", dont ick me! 

Yes, ie what I have been greeted each day. Smitten?! Yes. Never check my morning greetings as much. You know what! Never like to be called princess. From my new Maus, yes, it's fine.....it's good....it's normal and so not cliche. My frenz advised me to take it slow. Slow? What's slow? Observe more? Observe what? I do things my own ways. Ok, well, he may hurt me or leave me one day, but so....?!?! It's not going to kill me. I just go back to my previous lifestyle. No msg every morning only.

After so many years, I realize it's not about the pace. I tried slow, fast pace before. Usually men pace faster. I pace slower. The ultimate results are the same - if it ends, it ends. Doesnt matter what speed you are on, except the hurt level, I guess ie what people talk about. U know what! I dont feel hurt from my ex-es, except the humiliation they put me in, the non-uniqueness they faked it on me, their deliberate showing me the ugly sides of human kinds...........that hurts, not coz they were my bf, but the failure in showing me some good sides of humans and simple fact of being a genuine human - why is it so hard to be genuine, to be oneself, to be honest......Shit it, just be one!

I am not looking for a forever ever epic luv story. I am not snow white and he or any man is  neither prince charming. I just want to be able to imagine to be seated in a little cottage on an island sipping coffee. This is my vision since maybe 18. Actually, oddly, he somehow could fit into this vision.......haha, yes it's too fast in this picture, but it's nice, so WHY NOT!?!?!

I would care for this new Maus even we are together or not together in the future, as how hard it is to find someone to accept me as who I am, while being able to feel my mood, my thinking before I would share......he will be my friend forever, even not luver forever. This is the simple confession and truth. :)

A Peaceful Sunday....

Finally.

I couldnt get the ticket to Ruby Seven, guess it's a blessing in disguise. Not like I so freaking want some booze or food...........though it would be nice sitting in a corportae box just drinking away.

So I slept.....alot. Without my dogs. Coz I chucked them to my dad's. I realize in my life I luv them so much hence they stress me out the most. I luv my new place as it has some kind of special soul in it, despite upstairs is a church thing coz I heard them playing christian songs - I could remember the drum N guitar melody as I used to be part of such groups....guess they are filipino though.

And there was a topic I wanted to talk about, loneliness vs boredom. But it seems I hvnt got the words in my head yet so, guess I am gonna do it when they come to my head. 

Actually today I am just missing my new bf very much. haha........