Checking statistics

I am freaking sleepy as I literally didnt sleep as I thought there would be an early concall....I always refrain from sleeping, being afraid that....I just cudnt get up, and I gurantee u, U will NOT be able to get up!!!!!

And damnnnnnnn....................all concall and most important meeting cancelled....ARGHHHH!!!!!!!! And now my head is left with sleepiness and more boredom....shits.

So one of my nowadays entertainment is to check the stats of my blog. What I luv to know is what countries have been reading me, and which blog entries have been read.......and as of today, I find the Naomi Watts with the nipple stickers on pic was most clicked, and...some others r ...I think the rainbow thing and the cantonese shits, swearing thing. Then these 2 days I find someones read my Drag Queen and the big whale catcher pieces....hehe, I hope pple read the more close to my heart pieces as they are more me.....

Then I think of another more blog, which I talked abt since last year....I want to be more naked. Yet, then I think I am actually very naked here.....then I thought, maybe I cud talk more erotica, but yet......nowadays my eros is with one person solely, hence, not sure what kind of eros I could indulge in.....

So I drop this idea, though I am stilk hving another idea....maybe write a book, using blog format. Frankly....I tried to pen down many times, but when my mindframe thinks I am writing a book, my chains of thoughts just automatically switched off. I dunno why....but it is very much I believe...when I write blogs, I feel I am talking to someone...then U wud say, writing a book thibking U r talking to someone....but the pb is..I tried few times and it just doesnt work....

Maybe....just maybe....according to my character....I need alotta freedom....blog has certain boundaries, but I am not really bound.....I can open any pages anytime I want when I want to write, and then......I am not require to write a chapter each time....yes I remember I hate comprehension at school...hate it horribly.....and yes, I also dont freaking care much if my vocab is rite or my grammer is accurate....

anyways, no matter how at times I think outside the box, I am still living in this earth, I at times do allow myself to be trapped in a box.......:D

Updates about the bird...

As usual....my mind is flying all over. I am not sure if I mentioned before....one day during shower, I felt I was walking away from my goals, then I asked myself if I ever got any goalz. Guess I talked about yearly goal concept sucked in previous entry. And frankly - I got no yearly goal, as time flies too fast, I hvnt got the breath to review last yr, how could I fix some goalz!?!?!?! 

Anyways, my mind lately is all about work, all about how to beautify myself. I hvnt got the finance or mood to make myself look better, and now....I need. And hence I must go jogging & swimming so I could fit into my outfits again. My outfits of 10 yrs back, which r still so chic....and I feel amazed at my style....how cud I back then understand fashion!? When I could tell u......20-30 yrs ago, I sucked big time in fashion!!! Guess I am just way too intuitive....and I am never afraid to look stupid....

That comes to make me think....why pple cant be successful?! coz we r always so afraid to fail!?!?! Which great minds hvnt failed in their lifetime...!?!?! As a matter of facts, I think they r totally losers in order to be great one day...

U know what I mean!? Yet, some pple keep using the excuse to fail, to lose...coz they give up on themselves....I highly regard the word "experience", yet......experience isnt the core of things, understanding life /yourself is the experience of the journey. People who do hv great minds sometimes rely on experience.....its not right, to me!!! For me, I could say....from this experience I learn this n that....I give thanks to the torture or bliss, but do I need to go through that again!? Not neccessary.....I want new experiences, and also I learn the lessons and I have expanded n jumped to another level.

That always makes me think of enzyme......the chart whereby from one level jumping to another requiring enzymes....I always see myself jumping from one to another, how high, how far....at times depends on the will power and the catalysts.

:D

Love & Mission to evolutionary psychology

On Sunday, I met up with my life-path "theorist" or should I say fortune teller.....I prefer not to use the latter, as he's not really that! More, if you believe in matrix of energy of the past and future, then, he's just receiving some signal from the clouds of info....hehe, I make it sound more voodoo....but he's based on I Ching to make some calculation.

We met roughly once a year, and if I encounter difficult Qs, I would call him to make some calculation for me. I wont say it's accurate or not.....but through calculation, I gotta say, he taps into my brain more than anyone. In a word, I wud say - based on calculation, he understands my brain and my character way better than others, yet.....he couldnt predict or experience my behaviour. 

Also, everytime, we wud talk abt spiritual stuff........from brainwave, to ESP to this time evolutionary psychology (EP). Could I say it's spiritual stuff? not really as they are all a form of science, depending where U r looking at. So this time, we touched on the subject of love......and frankly, he has shaken my head a little. I always look at human nature, infidelity.....from caveman's perspectives.....and this time he exbounce more using EP. At first, he kept using caveman scenario........then next is about socrates, plato....or even SunZi, then back to one's mission with the one's companion....to family to lovers to...the BIG question, what is Love??

At first glance, I thought he kept encouraging me to write a book. haha.....but after one nite of hving my subconscious brain-chatting, somewhat......I am getting a glimpse what he was trying to say or what his soul was saying to me. Well, very hard to describe....maybe U can date me to talk about it, haha.....nah...well, in conclusion what he was saying.....love is hormone and I need a war buddy.

So, ok.....I am fine-tuning......actually, he kinda encourages me to develop a philosophy...of something....dawnism? 

I like it, when someone makes me think outside of my brain wave.......making me learn something different, new term, new theory....etc.....

Gotta go bk to work. Have a fabulous Monday......!!