We are so TINY.

Daily, how many times we complain about this or that around us?! Shitty traffic, horrible passerby........imagine tsunami hit u rite at the moment you were swearing someone. Not worth it. This is not a reflective entry.

I am thinking some of us are so interested in the 2012 Mayan calender, and I am sure this quake is going to spiral to all these spiritual enlightening again. I am excited to see the day of 21Dec2012 too, but I guess we should just live our lives. We are tiny anyways, why do we need to get tinier?

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/03/11/japan.quake/index.html

I dont know what I am doing?

My friend whispered to my ears last nite, telling me I wasnt happy and I didnt know what I was doing for my life?!?! HUH???? Hello.....me???? I have transcended, surpassed all understandings, no sorry, MOST understandings......me??? Argh, well...............I guess she was jealous. Honestly, if she could read english, she could have read some of my entries here. I dont talk much anymore, what's the point talking to average brain sized human beings. I dont see the points explaining my views, why I chose certain lifestyle or opt for not getting married to a man who couldnt get his thing up & going, plus with depression? Sorry.......no words from me, speechless. How DARE she compares me with her,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lol

Actually, sorry, she isnt my fren. She's my fren's fren but she likes me so much ------she touches me even on a cab,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,what's in her right mind? Sorry, I really couldnt be a lesbian. :P

I dont understand why people always want to compare me with them, like "we are the same kind" - ok, I always dare not ask this in a big voice - HOW???????????? BASED ON WHAT??????? We so totally are not similar, yes we are same kind based on my last entry, but.........we manifested differently. COME ON.

But now, in order to make people listen to me, I would always tell them - Yes I am like U, so ie why You should do this instead of that, coz I wouldnt do that, hence You should do this......Cheekie, huh!!??

To be frank, I totally dont get it why people cant live the way they want. Some are idiots, but I think it's blessing for them to be. And the thing is we come in & mess around with them, we are even more idiots, can we save them? rescue them? Who says they are made to be genius?  Just let them be. As my life principle be, dont be judgemental. Actually, I am very judgemental towards myself. Anyhow...........I realize I attain the aura of natural high, not even drugs could replace......hahahaha.....yes I tried something but really I got no feeling (have been stressed) - I wont touch it again as I hate the whole situation........it's totally bullshits why people need to resort to it, I dont see it as a hiding place. I dont understand why they need to mess with it. For me, everything I have been doing is for my research - I should indeed write a book in 2 years time. Frenz, pls mark my word - remind me I should.

Anyways, dont get scared.............I am totally fine. Her words didnt affect me at all, or drugs dont get me liking them at all - on the contrary, finally I tried, I realized I hate it, seriously. :)

Mutated Universe

Someone said to me lately I always used generalization. Actually, I do alotta categorization. My categories or "generalization" are not based on books or folklores, I experience/feel the flow and then analyze the difference, extract the common to come to term my category. I reckon, only 10%, or actually less could stand out to be different, so it's safe to use my category to label certain scenario, certain race, certain human behavior, for me anyways. 

That jumps to, there are always universal truth of certain things. We cant help but be bound by it at times. E.g. We have the gravity. We have the sun in our solar system. We need oxygen. In reality, less metaphysics, we have human behaviour universal truth. They are sometimes beyond your comprehension, yet, as you read Bible stories, they are actually pretty universal. At times, I would wish for a mutated universe intervention, then you have the belief that life could be slightly prettier. That would be sometimes we call "luck".

My friend asked me not to generalize, why? Coz I guess on some level everyone wants to be different. However, as I knew long time ago, we all have the same core, the difference is on the manifestation only. Ie why I dont understand why we dont try to be better, better than the same core. Is it that difficult? For me, I feel on many fragments, I have already surpassed the core, as I have transcended from the basics. However, like a trapped broken leg birdie, I feel I am strangled as well, becoz I am not at all sublimed to another phase, another plane.

Major learning, hopefully if you agree, is to reckon we are all the same, come from same core, wombed/bathed once in that same core (abit matrix theory here) - then you have the power to be different. I guess this is the reverse from what people say nowadays, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. Sorry, I just cant concur with this statement. :)

But all in all, as a universal human being - I gotta say I am VERY UNIQUE. hehe

It always started off like this....

Well, Whenever I have stress, I always have a similar dreamset location - Melbourne. My mind always wanders off there.

Last night, the same, I had a dream of the street I wandered alot when I was there - everytime the place looks different in my dream, this time I wanted to find 3 shops. One would be vintage shop. Another one is always pastry shop - I dont actually go there for pastry, and in reality there was no pastry shop there. Third one, I got no idea what it is and I couldnt remember.........

This time, I was debating in my dream, as usually my dreamset would be different, There was always very elaborate stretch of restaurants - it's not Victoria market, but its a whole stretch of things. So I was telling myself it's a dream, the other one was also a dream. It's good this time I didnt have to be on a tram, as there were always various trams and I gotta walk to the right terminals to take the right tram - in other dreams I always got lost. I rarely got lost with trams when I was in Melb, as I could always felt the rite ones to take.

Too bad the currency is so high, going back there for a visit to my 2nd home wouldnt be at all a bad idea......

Terminating what disrupts my routine

Many things have been disrupting my routines since Feb. Now, I gotta delete, terminate them. Regroup, Refocuz. I am so concerned with my belief, I am so afraid everything will be ruined. I wasnt afraid last month as I just wanted to play. I am telling myself since last week, darling dawn, it's time to stop. Pick up your messes. See someone just terminated you. Shit......first time ever someone fires me. hahaha....but the feeling isnt that suckie at all though. Weird.

However, seriously, I got distracted. I need to focuz back all the numerous projects people have been discussing with me but nothing has yet set the goal towards. Some projects are so conceptual that I am not sure they will fly, but by talking about them make my creative genes moving - when my mouth moves, my mind moves faster and then my body energies. No wonder I got sick as last month my mouth wasnt moving much.....verbally anyhows. hehe.

COME BACK TO EARTH, ORION or STARSEED. COME BACK. COME BACK. I sometimes wish I would be just a starseed flying through the black space, being sucked into the BLACK HOLE. I really really want to know what's inside of black hole. It could be a time-trapper - maybe I could actually stay there and see past, present & future like a movie.

Talking about movies, I hvnt got time to see movies. No chance to check out the film fest as well. Maybe next year. But I need to go to a cinema. I need to be uninterrupted to see a movie. No phones, No dogs - just spend 2 hrs silent. I want to be taken away from this dreaminess I have rite now. Every day for weeks, I feel like zombie. My eyes are blurred and I cant sleep well. Maybe I took something from BKK & TWN back......shit..................hope not!

Terminated

Argh, I got terminated from a project, just got an email. HAHAHAHHAAH.

Well, I seriously didnt put much effort in, at 1st I did, I was working very hard for this company but they dont pay good, despite. Then we could never come to finalizing any things, then I chased for one quotation for "their client" - it took me one month, I still couldnt get it. It's her fault, or mine? I dunno, guess it's mine then.

Argghh, now I have to refocuz on my other stuff.......which would take long time to fly but I am going to spare 60% of my time on the short-term and 40% on the long-term. 

I should still thank the universe for this, as the thing is she's always creeping in my mind - I hate feeling I am not doing enough despite it's peanut money (not enough even to pay rent - how peanut it is), but she did save my toughest hour end of last year, so I will still help finishing the hopefully "their client" project.

Having headaches now. Hope things are all as smooth as I think this year will be. Mr Funny gave me something to read - some Master Key System, heard it circulated bilingual in China. I hope I could master the secret of being successful & becoming money-making machine for others (the code is you have to make money for others in order to make money) - sorry, my level is low, dont really understand completely. But it's good not to understand so I can think, can get something to distract my headaches.

Hope everyone is happy & kicking....luv luv luv

Art of having a mistress

Well, to repay all my guy friendz' kindness, let me give you a hint where to ensure the secrecy & discreet-ness of keeping a mistress no. 1, 2, 3......

It's to rent a flat in the old commercial building, just convert it into a comfy loft. Ie what I am doing now.....turning a commercial office into my little home (WITH BALCONY). Imagine it, the problem of going in & out of a hotel or a residential area, it's fishy, people know U got something. However, in a commercial bldg, it's cool, as you are just going in & out for business meeting or something like that......

Can I get royalty if someone copies this idea??!!!

No, I got no sugar daddy.....:) I just hv this thought.....what's the best perfect crime of having affairs. hehe.

Actually, I am abit concerned with my new place, it has no kitchen but small bathroom. I wanted it so badly coz they have a balcony - I see I dont need to use kitchen or bathroom so much but I need balcony more per day. I am just abit afraid that someone could complain about my dogs, so I am thinking of installing glass doors, maybe to block my dogs accidental barking or something......we will see. Wish me good luck for at least 2 years as I dont think I want to move for next 2 years.......may this place bring me good luck, good luv, good fortune, good in everything - I even hope all my next door neighbour will move out so I can get all my frenz rent them - coz this bldg is CHEAP!!!!!! ^^

I am not an employee

Thenm why do I have to read their emails...............thousands upon thousands from the same person. I dont want to know so many things, just give me the items & let me sell to customers. Period.

Then, I know this dutchman is going to call me, he's going to yell at me. The fact is I diplomatically soothed him last week, but due to that bunch of mother fuckers, I am gonna get yelled at................ARRGGGHHHHHH.

It's 2:32am, I am going to sleep for max 5 hrs. Then I am going to channel all my energy towards not working with them - my other projects must must must get realized. Let me do the list:

1. Sign out a secrecy agreement, sign N send back
2. Call the HK woman again to see when she's going to meet me
3. Bank in money to another project
4. Find the air tix to VN to see if the frenchman still wants me to be in the fair
5. Shitty costica brand - still hv to call & reply emails, but never mind lah.....just do it
6. The container projects
7. Taiwan co's global consultant - kakakaka.....I asked my frenz to give me this title......kakakakaka.......I need to start reading their stuff man
8. same as 7, but I need to come up with crazy ideas, brain - work work.....think of crazy product concepts. Very hard nowadays for me, as I am so out of touch from this world, but stillk, think think think............
9. Fill up still the mother fucker co whatever forms or sheets about whatever, I dont even know what the heck they want
10. Contact my TV shopping fren about this healthy drink, I keep forgetting for more than 2 weeksssssss
11. The parallel import - really think & plan to make it happen
12.Aus brand stuff, tedious
13. i cant remember................

So many,huh?! yes, I am well-sorted after but everything takes time.....that's why I am so brain stuffed, I am not filthy rich yet.....as this will be Mr Funny & my goals, to be filthy rich. Mr Funny, if U r rich, pls let me ride on your private jet.

Burn me to ashes

Then put me in a nutshell.

I have no patience to guess work. I have no patience to rework.

Every fucking email I send to this fucking company IS THE SAME, THE SAME. WHEN? WHEN good be dilvered? WHEN WHEN WHEN? They would reply - I delay on confirming AW. No, wait, me? U stupid ass wanted to change the article no of AW. ANYONE knows what is an article no of AW? huh? Noooo......took me 2 days to get an answer. Just fucking say it the first time,. Fucking idiot!

JUST BURN ME INTO ASHES and BURY ME IN A NUTSHELL.

THEN, pls put me into the SILK ROAD DESERT.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, a bunch of ass-sucking mother fuckers.

Your Highness

Mr Funny is so funny, he's just so damn funny.
I dont even know when he started calling me "Your Highness". And of late, some people start to call me Queen.
Shit, am I that anal??? But good they dont call me princess, I would hate it, and think of it as an insult.

Ar, what the hell?! I am a bitch. I am anal. I am high maintenance! Pls maintain me...........hohohoohhooh

Mortified

I should turn into a zombie.. I sent my blog link to someone I didnt plan to.
You guyz know how my blog is like. I dont talk about sweet stuff, ok?!
Sometimes it's bloody here.
Now, I feel so mortified. Shy. Embarassed.
hahahaha, but what the hell, I dont really care how others see me anyways.
Hope he wont get all the naked deadening pics in his head so much.
Dont want to pollute the world so much. I already keep polluting with my ideas verbally, not the mind, plz. LOL

My god..........I am a plan idiot.