Well, I think....while I was in toilet....I think alot in toilet......that actually roughly now it marked my 2 years of singlehood. But if counting my year in China, then....I would say 3 years. hehe....seriously, then I was already gone from my ex, and planned my viscious breakup (though didnt go according to plan, shitsss).
As I have been doing alot of reflection of my past few years past few months......I am amazed I am so at ease being single.
Well, as everyone knew me before NYE 2009, I had a vow that I would not date or do any stuff in 2010, I actually completed it with much diligence, and I was proud of myself of this abstinence thing coz it was a conscious action - a way to train my inner strength. Well, but this year, I dated too much......and lost interest too fast too.....except one, of coz....but also faded away like water paint under the heavy rain.
I was thinking to myself in the toilet, really........I dont mind hving a bf, as I got a constant affection or msg or something or duhduhduh......but then I am actually at ease with myself too. Well, this issue I wouldnt bother this year, I suppose it's too confusing question for me - freedom or companion. I hv no answer. But I know I am more inclined to freedom, and the fact is most of the things I prefer to do it alone......ummmm. Except, indeed, when I couldnt sleep at 2am, I do wish I could have the freedom to call a bf of some sorts to get someone to listen to me. Ummm, maybe you say friends could do that too. O well, we are not early 20's, everyone needs beauty sleep and they got an important job to attend, or their wife or bf would be pissed if I would hv to call. Though, seriously, if U r not happy, feel free to call me at 4am, I would be pleased to talk to u. (Of coz sane people wudnt call their bf at 3am, hehe.......:P, but I think I did that before just to yell at them. KAKA....Me BITCH!)
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