Feel Like 1000 years old

I always know I am an old soul, but still think I am kinda new old soul. But lately - actually today.......my "tiredness" of things (not exactly entirely negative - but I got no words to describe it) has made me feel that I am already 1000 years old. Not exactly wiser, not exactly tired - but I started to see some understanding of things. Maybe more forgiveness. Less patience for things dont deserve me. But I am not sharpened yet. Still got long way to mould. I cant say I am excited. But a strange feeling. Like yesterday as I said, I felt da me is coming back soon. And one sign of Da Me is back is that I didnt sleep the whole night until now.....it's the Da Me trait. I think I am really workaholic, when there are things I want to achieve, I can go without sleep. It's abit crazy but it's kinda my way too. It';s the Da Me. Period.

Very strange things too - as I am feeling old soul within, as I look back my old pictures..........I actually kinda look younger than before. Even my stylist told me that. Is it some kinda reverse, like the movie by Brad Pitt....U kinda grow up in reverse (cudnt recall the movie name).....weird. Of coz I could see sign of old age - some fine lines, etc etc...........o well, maybe better camera now. haha

Da Me

I was talking to my "life analyst" over the phone as I gotta update him my situation. Actually, lately I feel in somewhat, da me is coming back, but still I could feel I am now in a river, tied with a string, a small string.....I am not back on land yet. However, I am focuzing to find the me back. And as he said, i would know when I would be back. And indeed, I somehow am so in touch with myself, I could even tell how well I speak of a joke or a thought....lately not so good, but better than past 2 months, I suppose. 

So today, somehow a british guy who wanted to date me for a year....hahhaahahah.......surfaced on a chat. Honestly, I am not interested in him but it's flattering someone could remember you after so long without contacts, at least 4 months I guess. I think he said something he found me awesome being so upfront about many things, I said, yes I am intriguing. But the fact is, u know, I am tired people saying they like me coz I am honest, open & upfront........honestly speaking, I think people cant handle honesty. It's a trait people desire after but do not want it at all.

I hope Da Me is back on soon. I miss the hilarious ME. I miss the crazy ME. I dont care if people would luv me coz I am that outerspacey hilarious, crazy & honest anymore. I dont think anyone even needs to think why they can luv me or not, I am just so darn super gigantic wonderful person....why the freak I need to care if people wud luv me, as many would, few cant is fine, rite? I mean even just me luving me is totally enough, who can say they hv at least 1 person who can luv one unconditionally????

I WILL BE BACK - Terminator.

Weird Dreams

I think, really, first thing one should do is to record their dreams if they could remember. I havnt been diligent about it but I did have vague memory of 2 dreams.

I realize that many of my dreams have something to do with water, guess maybe my star sign is of water. This recent dream, I couldnt recall the specific, but the only thing I remember, instead of running across a highway, I gotta swim across a highway of river - inside which many giant fish looking like some greyish whales....but they were not exactly the fish that I know of. Somehow, I just gotta swim across it. 

Anyways, apart from water monsters, underrwater training, this is another one related to water. It's good I am not of fire sign.....hahahahaah

Second one was last night. I dreamt I was in this apartment - kinda old with old furniture. While I was playing around with my date, he told me he didnt like my place. It's old. So I said coz it's so cheap, I just needed to rent it.....he said everywhere is dust, but I was fine as I didnt have allergy.....keke. Then next scene was at a dinner party - somehow they were all rich people. Another guy came to me and said - u know what. I could transfer the stock share to you since your flat belonged to the listed company - I said, wow, could you do that? He said, of coz he could.......lol...alternate dimension, people still wanted to benefit me. Then another guy came to me, should be my date or a friend....I couldnt remember, he said, U gotta move. I said, well, I got no money to move, and he said...I would pay for you. Then I started to tell of the ghost story and people were gathering around me in aweee.....................kekekekekekeke

I think in the alternate dimension of me, I was also experiencing financial problems, but the "she-me" was lucky as she knew all the rich guyz. keke

American Documentaries

I mean, they always have intriguing topics - Nostradamus Effect. But the material is so shallow and repetitive, but what got me interested was the anti-christ part, whereby nostradamus prophesied something interesting, e.g. Hitler - Napolean, etc........Kinda browsing abit on Hitler. It's amazing how he could create a social-cult in such short time, while, actually a jewish oracle prophesied to him that he wud become a chancellor , but later of coz murdered by him. At his suicide - he chose 30 Apr, coz it's like the "ghost door open" date as in our 7-14 chinese custom..........

Then was kinda intrigued by Issac Newton too. He was very diligent in deciphering the bible code, and actually his documents were surfaced sometimes ago (maybe 50 yrs ago?) - yet he was an alchemist. Isnt it abit strange that in somewhat....as I am reading some doc or books lately - alchemy always has some association with the bible in somewhat. And U know, I am good at chemistry and ie why I got very intrigued by the term alchemy before I knew what it meant - never thought of turning lead to gold, but I think turning things to things isnt the real practice & desire behind.

Intriguing!