Books N Ideas

I have been blahhhh about having a book of my own for some time. The fact is, I feel I am not enough for it. Yea, if I have to share my stories, they are quite interesting in somewhat but then it's just another drama queen's stories, just total bullshits N cliche. I always felt I should have done or learnt something extra-ordinary to kick off this step....ok, maybe wait till I am 60!!??

But lately I have addicted to kindle. I downloaded many books, from poems to spiritual stuff or just novels or jewish bible............I am reading them simulataneously. Yea yea, supposedly it isnt right, to be honest, I am not trying to learn something from each book, I am trying to do a mental research for something. And as the movie - Limitless goes, well, it seems it's better I get as much info or glanced enough info just in case I could assess to 100% of my brain....hehe....I am not going to learn the theories of others or teachers, never in my life I tried to learn something from the "scholar" or "masters", I always know I need to find my way. Like math, I did quite good, but I could never get what the teacher said - so I always studied on my own and I would finish the whole exercise book in frenzy (before anyone could even start halfway through), so I got good score, and I never would compile to hand in homework (depending which teacher....it seemed they always let me be, haha...)

Not meant to say something negative, I think if my teachers see me now, they wud be disappointed. The gal they knew should be a head of a department already. What's going on with her? "sob"

I think I have been blabbering on about a breakthrough or some excitement - it's not going to come. Becoz it already started when I said I wanted it. I am just waiting to see how it would be quickened in its own way. I am not very patient, but also very patient.

So I am reading alot, as I want to cram all the vocabs in my head. In the past I always sped through words, so I could get the picture in my head.....then I would make up stories along the way using the words. It seemed to work............and now....I feel i hvnt got enough, I hv to stuff something in, just to make sure when the path is clear, I could vomit all the food I have been eating in  one goal.......

Anyways, I am bullshitting. I just need to bs bs bs bs.

Oh, yes I got a great present from my fren. I couldnt even recall since......maybe 12 yrs ago, someone gave me Tiffany. It's not my brand anymore, very girlie. But when Bruce gave me that, I suddenly felt like a gal again.....thanks so much. I really luv it. Thanks so much for making me feel like a little princess.....heheheh...I need that, I dont deny, I want to be a princess! 

And during our coffee today (while giving me the bday gift), we started sharing on ideas. And I feel that he has given me a very good concept - I will see to it if there's any way using my magical power to make it succeed.

2 gifts in one day, I am so blessed!!!!!! ^^

P.S - Freakishly to me, it's my 111 post of ME!!! Wow, something wonderful N magical is gonna happen to ME! Yea!

Judgemental

People say or comment I am a judgemental person
actually, I am not
but if people say, I have to put into account
I think it's my demeanour or my look
people just hv to comment something

Now, I think I can say I am judgemental, but

I am judgement to the matter of mind
I am NOT judgemental to the matter of heart

Ie why I am a compassionate person with a touch of judgment

hehe

Swing

Few things I luv -

1. Pendulum

2. resonance effects within  benzene rings

3. momentum

4. intra- & extra-cellular matrix

Yes I was a science student.

I did very well in chemistry though I forgot most stuff already but there are still some trace of a notion, of a drawing, etc. My frenz asked me why I could do so well, I said I dunno, I just could feel the stuff.

Pendulum - someone described me as that, my logic vs emotion

resonance - I just feel so awed by that power

momentum - u kick it, it starts to run 

intra- & extra - cellular matrix - I always wondered since young if there's life within life within life......

(I always imagined that my hair was the universe of another race or people.....and they were living in it)

Anyhow..................................................what I am trying to say. Just some background.

I have been asking myself some questions lately. It bothered me alot, as I so couldnt understand the situation I have been in. I have to tell frankly, I am very very tired and fatigued from my life. I thought of ending it couple of weeks ago, as I got really tired N emptied out. And of coz I hv been reading different books, somehow I want to jumpstart something......u know, something.......

So last nite, I had a dream. Actually, now I am not sure if it's dream within a dream or basically 2 dreams separately. Both dreams I was on a swing. But in one scenario, the background wasnt like earth, more like a highly advanced thing, coz it had a very tall bldg (my memory is very vague) - so i was on the swing, it swinged really high, and so I asked, why I could swing so high to the sky....(it's like I could swing so high, same level as the bldg). So somehow I semi woke up from another dream or real life, now I couldnt tell - my mind told me that it's the answer to the question I asked before I fell asleep.......................................

The swing is my answer.

Band-Aid to the broken heart (scientifically)

First, thanks to Mr Funny introducing me to read up on Gregg Breden, but what makes my heart beat heavily would be what I am going to share below. Now I totally understand why I studied science and why the heck pharmacy though I hated it guts to the point I disowned this profession. But as I always share - studying Pharmacy has an advantage, whereby I understand alot of science stuff plus human stuff (as we are prepared to work in pharmaceutical companies (hence product development, formulation, marketing - we need to grasp the understanding, plus also we need to do alot of counselling & educating the patients). And most of all, we are trained to read literature, journals of science sorts, of coz. I am so so thrilled to read what's below.

http://www.businessweek.com/innovate/content/feb2011/id20110225_354247.htm

"............electrical currents can be detected in developing embryos and in wounds.........." =>

1. "the cells that become the heart begin to pulsate very early on in embryonic development, it can be said that the vast majority of the time that an embryo develops is in the presence of electrical signals."

2. "........... in a wound, the (these) charged particles spill out and create current (movement of charge) that can be measured and that subsides as the wound heals"

Hence, the above findings have become the fundamental points of research in finding how to "grow heart tissue".

Note: "the heart is the biggest source of electrical energy, much much bigger than the brain............ "

Creating the band-aid for wounded heart-tissue is to modulate the frequency of electrical stimulation to "trick" the cells to grow into heart tissues - these engineered heart tissues would be the band-aid of the broken heart tissue.........

Maybe this week, I will share some points regarding the Divine Matrix by Gregg Breden, but I really dont think I can grasp what he's talking about as it has alot of physics in it, which I suck in physics. But he points out about power of emotion/feeling - generated by heart (as above, remember, heart generates bigger electrical energy - also magnetic field - than the brain) could actually change the reality (in simple term - anyways, I still dont get it much but I am more interested to prove certain scientific points he makes first), so above rgd the engineered heart has somewhat excited me alot..........

Anyways, it's exciting to know the physical broken heart could have a band-aid and our heart actually creates more electricity than the brain........these would be a great pondering moment for us. Maybe the spiritual heart could be healed & modulated too. :D

(actually, I got other research rgd the heart N brain bla blah EM fields but I find this simple article to be most intriguing)