I should give thanks, actually after negotiating with some gods, it seems I got partially what I wanted. At least one out of three fulfilled, it's pretty awesome. Though, something happened on the good news day and that made me reallllllly bitter and sad. And my heart is since still filled with some form of heaviness.....anyways, guess yin & yang.....u need to balance it with some heaviness and lightness, if not it all turns out to be indeed unbearable lightness or heaviness of being.
Then at times like this, after close to 4 years of being single....of coz I have had different dates or so on. Yet, maybe it's winter, the feeling is quite overwhelming. It never happened much like this before, and I rarely whine about being lonely or alone in the past, except this year......guess once u have experienced love and U cant actually physically be with that person, the loneliness amplifies and it's just unbearable....
It's been really nice to have you guyz checking on me here and lately I got a mega-email, very long and entertaining. And it's good at times, U got people to share your views or express his/her own diff views on stuff with substance. It's even more challenging to reply to the points but I luv this.
then, 2012 is gonna be exciting. More things seem to be looking up, and I am going to enter a new territory that I have never been really fully equipped so it means it's gonna be super challenging, tiring, exhausting - BUT alot to learn. How to make a person fresh is one continues to find lessons, experience - and trully benefit from them, and continuously stimulate the mind makes a person more alive. And I need this aliveness very much.
Yet, a thing to note. Was talking to a fren rgd her triangle love affairs, I feel - she puts too much emphasis on "lessons", haha....guess saying we learn from our mistakes is a positive attitude, yet - relying on learning from mistakes will destroy a person. And I hope, I will be smarter in striking the balance of learning from mistakes vs relying on learning lessons from mistakes.
