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Even a broken clock could be right twice a day.

Wednesday, 15 March 2023

My Lottie

 


Lottie came to me when she was 3 month old and when I was raising her big sister Shadow (a sausage dog). Middle child of my sister’s dog Cherry, Lottie was born tiniest amongst the lot of three and we thought she might not live long because of her 15-day old pneumonia. Little did we know, she is now biggest amongst her family (She is basically double the size of her chihuahua parents & siblings).

 

She has many names - the brat, my baby, my ugly monster, the princess, Miss PR - to some she is quite naughty as she likes to run around, demand for snack & affection! To me, she is perfectly “naughty” hence her name – Lottie.

 

She is in charge of my household, ensuring no harm and mess comes to her mommy. I never knew that a small tiny thing like her would be so understanding and loving. Indeed, I fell in love with her the day she was brought home. She helps me understand that we could never bring sadness or anger home! (she contracted meningitis when she was a little under 2 years old, according to the vet neurologist it happens sometimes to small breed dogs which tend to be so close to the owners that if the owners may have emotional fluctuation or long absence, they might develop such disease). It took her sickness to relook trajectory into my life and confront my emotion health.

 

Shadow taught me to be a responsible adult (grown-up), Lottie made me learn to be a Mom.

 

She just turned 13 in 15 Jan 2023, many say she still looks like a 5 year old with perfect shiny hair. I believe love and happiness always make one look better 😊. Surely for a chihuahua breed like her, she has now been diagnosed with heart condition, a vet did say she might not live pass 2023. It is the most devastating news of coz, to me. So, One month at a time, One walk at a time – I pray that God will allow more years for me to be her mom.

 

In summary,

 

Lottie has made me happy, letting me know there is always a good reason to come home.






Tuesday, 27 July 2021

Not everything has a reason

 People like to say everything happens for a reason! I am so tired hearing it, as I dont buy it anymore. Not everything happens for a reason. 

errr...so what I want to say here, nothing haha. it's my dairy so I say what I want to say here. I am tired to hear that my bad shit experience or good shit experience or the drama encounters happen for a reason. It's so cliche - one statement, so anti-climax...so easy.....which I dont see why I need to toil and feel pain just to know everything happens for a reason

If people got nothing to say, dont speak - we breath in air, we dont need to say to others Oh You are breathing in air. 

I hate those phrases - be positive! everything happens for a reason! RIP! 

What the fuck? Only people who never go through real shits say shits like these

vent out, thanks

Saturday, 24 July 2021

A simple prayer

Hi world

How are you!? It’s been a while. World has become quite nasty - to keep one non-insane, I just made a simple prayer - to embrace the darkness that edify me and keep away the darkness that destroys! 

My mind is no longer working properly. Too much events too much stuff happening around me! Actually not really but I just want to whine to self. 

I think it’s time, though I said it like dozens of times, to restart my writing habit as I need somewhere to be intelligent again!! Or maybe literate again!! Watching series & YouTube numb a person beyond belief!!

I want sunny sunny life

I want happy happy laughs

You world 

Talk to you soon


Sunday, 2 August 2020

A Drop of Water Sign

OUT OF TIME - DODECAHEDRON

While, I am on this path...I know I am easily giving up. I kind of missed my time yesterday for Octahedron (Ether) due to having a friend coming over for chats. I kind of was feeling abit tired ysd and as well, I do not understand Ether.....

Since ysd, I started reading the books on The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life. First few pages already had my curious topic - pineal gland. Yippie......I couldnt thank enough Amazon delivered the books so fast like the Universe knew I was desperate in my head. As days passed, I have been using "I am mental" to describe myself...indeed, I felt so bored as nothing interested me. Now.....Matias, Sacred Geometry, finding the atlantean in me interest me....anyhows.

I want to share abit what happened during Dodecahedron Day. As I started to think of the 9 tears.....I also dont understand what that was.....and a drop of water fell on my lap. I suddenly felt awake inside..& outside....sometimes we do things without being aware. I feel that for these 5 days out of time.....it's to retrain my brain to reconnect, to be aware...

Statement: I am Water, Expression and Vibration"

As I said this statement - I felt a numbing on my throat......I took it as a sign my chakras and lighting fields were aligned.....then I could feel some sensation. I just wanted to record here to avoid I forgot. Suddenly a thought.....as wanting to know more akashic records....blogs are like that....we made records as we would forget.If I want to know, I just need to find a way to the blog to read.......

I Am Water, Expression & Vibration.

Today is more like a diary....I want to note down the drop of water from my hair...just a drop. It's kind of interesting. Thank you.

Friday, 31 July 2020

Quantum Mechanics is soooo spiritual

Yup, QM is spiritual. 

While, following Yosoy Red #yosoy - 30Jul2020 was "Happy Tetrahedron Day", my schooling time I was pretty good at most subjects but I dont remember anything related to Platonic Solids. Through this Yosoy path, I am gradually learning about sacred geometry (SG)

QM & SG to me....they should be same, they should have some form of relevancy to each other but I cannot understand anything about it somehow. It's like my mind has been shut down to recieve deep mesaage....and it could be - it's too simple!? I think it should be latter, because humans sometimes cannot understand the most simple stuff......and so here I attempt to equate, QM, SG and LOVE are the same things though I cannot produce any equation for that.  I couldnt understand any bit of it. HAHA. It should be something related to frequency.......Oh well.

While, randomly listening to Sean Carroll - the many worlds of QM, I started to read through my conversation notes I had with my therapist, Fred......there, when I pondered his words rgd asking the right questions, I was born to have that brain to ask the right questions........I needed to ask the right question to download info - I suddenly understood one thing, why I was kind of a "scientist" or why I excelled in science suddenly, esp chemistry coz I was knowing how to ask questions!! I did. I was curious about anything related to science..... - and there I recieved a message from beyond.....I guess it's first time consciously.....ie what I was asking for, so here I go....

"To be able to download info - ask the right quesions. Just like a scientist. I am a scientist now, past and future. An alchemist. An achlemist thar derived energy , freuqency into matter. It is true. It happened. Problem is - I, Dawn, (the past Avour????), now need to fix it. I could manipulate lighting in front of the giant pyrimaid (I had a vision about lighting, manipulating lighting in front of pyrimaid while following Matias Live Stream ysd)  

*conversation started* 
<is that the Egypt ones? No!>
<what should I do? Dont be lazy. Be a scientist. Ask the right Qs and you can tap into your alchemcy power. It is not that you sucked in physics. You became good at chemistry at young age suddenly coz you were an alchemist. So ask the right Q>
Download. Use the true light to change the dynamics of the new world. Yosoy Red is a bridge for you to learn. It's not the means to the ends. Still some ways to go. Be consistent. Be coherent. Be in love with everything and nothing. Be in love with you, me, him, her it, them ours, and IT.

Oh wow....thank you!


Wednesday, 29 July 2020

Last Day

After a while, you know you cannot express much on social media. Safe space is so important for me. Living in Asia, sometimes there's a some form of stress - anyhow it's another topic. I hope to reuse this space, mainly for myself to dive into my own thoughts & emotions.

"Last Day' is not the end of the day. But according to Matias De Stefano, we are going to go into the new year from tomorrow 30Jul2020 - according to ancient egyptian calender. I know no shits on all these stars, latitudes or constellation - my bad, I studied and read alot but I suck in physics and maths.

So, this post is to record what I was thinking, in a way for myself. Last week, as I was walking Lottie (my dog dog), I thought to myself (while she was peeing) - 2020 is such a boring year, so so so damn boring. It's like a 7 months of boredom - I cant travel, I cant do this, I cant do that. Frankly, isolation doesnt affect me too much on lifestyle but in the mind - I felt abit trapped, as I couldnt plan I couldnt arrange etc etc...blah blah. Then, I have no idea how, I opened my Gaia TV....I rewatched INITIATION by Matias - which I tried to watch his show few times past 1 year since I got subscription. I just couldnt watch him.......at that time, I just felt info was boring & irrelevant...But then at the same time, I knew on some level I should watch. ie why I tried couple of times. Finally just few days ago....last week, I did - I watched & rewatched. EXPLOSION. BLEW UP MY MIND. 

I never once followed any masters....any guru, and I dont see him as that. He kept reminding us in his Youtube videos.....he's just sharing his truth from his remembrance & perspectives. No one knows one Truth, it's only from his perspectives......starting that resonating with me so deeply. I couldnt use words to describe......in this era, everyone is the way, everyone is the truth......u know !?

Anyways, as I was saying, boring 2020 - can we magically restart this year!?!?! Okies, yes I can. haha......tomorrow is the 5 days out of time and then we start the new year. Wow what!? I think my wish was answered, even in a childish way but it's giving me some hope.....anyhows.

My mind has stopped for few years as I am trying to be "grounded", to work hard........yet, I cannot deny, one part of me is suffocating. My inner being. I am not someone who search for happiness.....I tend to search for saddness. And I dont think I search for neither now.....there is blockage to describe my thoughts & numbness.....but, I feel, as I embark on this alignment for planetary consciousness with Yosoy Red and Matias......I feel, there is starting some changes in me, though I got no words for it, so I have to write write & write.

"I AM TRANSFORMATION"

Seeing my happy dog's face makes me happy from within, I hope whoever stumbles on here she makes u smile also. xoxo



Tuesday, 6 August 2019

I Love My Home - Hong Kong

I have no children, but I always love them. Seeing what's been happening in HK since June, today my heart is utterly shattered by this video of a 16yo girl - who was hyperventilating as police were surrounding this 16yo girl - a child - yelling at her. Frankly, I am a weak hearted person, I cannot bear to hear what they said but I could gather, somewhat somehow - from the most violent brutal foul language to the most insulting words maybe an adult would be shy away from.

I confess, it is not entirely factual if police said whatever I thought they did coz I didnt hear it in entirety......but you know what it's not a separate case, I heard the shouting before in other videos. The magic of iphones, the magic of social media. So, I finally broke down in tears - weeping for a while. I am not sure why. But I feel for the children, the young ones here in HK or even over the world - they are fighting.

One would say they are blocking the roads or protesting against the authority is just a Gen Z or XYZ (not catching up on the labels) syndrome. Yes maybe, but shouldnt sometimes authority be challenged? Why we adults feel they are so wrong? 

For one, I am always pretty neutral in political views, except I utterly dislike the current USA president DJT, simply on the racist rhetoric and mocking of people. I think I know why I cried. It's the basis of humanity touch that we are losing. I have been upset by it.....now I feel overwhelmed by this gradual loss of humanity over the world....one race over the other, one types of people better than the other. It is just so silly and ridiculous.

I am writing as I do not want to write anything on my social media page - I feel people are so stuck to their page that somehow we could not step back and feel. I advocate fairness....hence I never say the police are evil, coz I really believe they are just human - some of them do not participate in over violence. But indeed, when one is given so much power to harm - and you believe in this right to act upon it, many - maybe one day me - I would do likewise. This is part of the saddening truth hidden in the genome of humanity. 

I just need a place to talk - I find talking to myself more soothing nowadays. If you are out there somewhat reading, I am sorry - this is utterly incoherent somewhat. 

Last, I love this city despite its evilness in many ways - rude taxi drivers, strategyless manager of this city, crazy rushing people on the street -> yet, this is my home. 

Yes, Hong Kong is my home. It is an unconditional kind of love. I love HK.

Stay safe and peaceful.