The very logical Mr Smith

I asked Mr Smith, do you have fears, worries? I mean - coz Mr Smith is a very logical person who totally goes against the belief in God/Gods existence. And then I asked, Mr Smith, have you ever crazily in love?

He replied, yes, I do have fear, and I have been in Love.

He went on saying - Black hole isnt actually black and the universe is expanding. There's at least one black hole in each galaxy....

 

Me, caged with no legs, aint no physic people, ok!? but....I think black hole could be our energy source. In the past, we believe it sucked everything in, actually - I dont think we could use our 3D mind to understand this.......it actually expands our universe in very fast pace. Frankly....my train of thoughts isnt very good, as I hvnt read much enough rgd Quantum.....

Anyways, back to Mr Smith. So Mr Smith - you like cats, U hv been in love, U actually have fears, but U dont believe in God, U think fringe or XFiles are for juvenille, and U believe all things could be explained by Physics, yet.....also, U dont believe in Souls. Are you abit too contradicting yourself? (even though it doesnt sound he is....hehe, more I am).

However, I believe all things could be xplained by physics but how says physics have to be just E=MC2? If the talk about soul, ghosts, etc.....are made up due to just simply created in the Image of Humans? God was created in the Image of Humans. It's enchanting thought......and becoz

I so believe, as he puts it.....we dont know anything as the basis....so for him, we can answer everything with physics while for me I think since we dont know anything, so it's better not to put emphasis on one truth, but while open enough to accept opposite to the truth you so hold tight to and.....afterall,humans r poor translator.

Interestingly, he's fanatic about movies, just within this year, he watched 200+ movies, I am wondering......how could someone so absorb in such fantasy world be so dogmatic about "gods & beliefs".....it wouldnt be dreamy, exciting, floating, magical while watching a movie when one is that rationally logical.....

I am a lucky gal.....

In times of despair and desperation, somehow, the hand of da god/s or da universe will show some mercy on wrecked souls. I have been blessed with such, though my requirement is little.....say for e.g.

The CNY week was supposed to be one of my highlights of 2012, yet, on the Sat itself I got news that took me down to the pits. Oh well, really......right at that moment, I recieved one of the longest emails (maybe...coz was reading from iphone, it looks too long, way too long.....hahahaha) in my life. Which, by the way, usually I wrote long emails, letters, not the other way round, rarely the recipients. This person surely beats me, coz he luvs to write too. And anyways, reading his email, inside it's all sharing of his views after reading my blogs and some updates of his life - it warmed my soul in great deal. As......maybe....somehow, god hasnt forgotten me, or frenz hvnt forgotten me. I got a reminder, despite he's pretty unaware of how precise the timing was......i got "revived" literally.

So someone remembers, I did say at that sad moment "I am so lucky".

See My Past

As I was rambling on bitching about some crazy guyz, I at the end....did meet up with my ex. :P The thing is my toilet light was out, he was kind enough to offer to change for me. We had a nice time, but one thing - haha - he kept saying "I hate CHU" (I hate U) which was our sweet talk long time ago. Basically, I just ignored him. I really think I am a freaking passionately hot human being, yet I could be a damn cold bitch at times.

Then we had a nice dinner, chat. And thanks to him, he kinda vindicated me something that has been marginally bothering me, which is, I have been called "High maintenance". I have tried to argue my way through with people to justify their accusation, hehe. The fact is, if people think U r, there's no way to fend off anyways. So I accepted this accusation on the surface. Coz honestly, how could someone not money-minded, no demand in bf wealth or gifts showering be high maintenance. And also, I dont buy branded goods much at all...maybe every 5 years once? Well, though, I like unique stuff, chic looking bags, yes I love shoes very much, and also vintage......well how can a gal so in love with getting people used clothes, bags, shoes be....high maintenance?!?! :)

Anyhow, I asked him - so people say I am high maintenance, what do you think? He - U? No way, how could you be? I - yea, fucking rite, how could I be. And the only thing I am high maintenanced of is intelligently, emotionally & mentally, apart from that I got not much request. Thanks to him, now I feel so much better!!!!!! hehe......though somewhat he still thinks I am a bitch. The cute kind, :)

And after seeing him, I feel like - it was my past life. I was abit different back then. Clingy, jealousy plagued, etc etc....and all the men I was with, they were kind of weak or poor....hehe....ie not a way to badmouth them, I know but that's the fact. And by stopping dating for almost 2 years, it really helps me to re-adjust my inner esteem and decide more what I want now. 

Frankly, I feel happy to see him becoz it's like finally - not just I got vindicated, but I also got cleared of my certain karma in relationships. And I am delighted to see that from his past reliance on me for daily living roof or food, he's now a stand alone person with quite good future....anyhow, I am always glad to see the men I sent back to the world are well & all.

:)

This thing isnt for U, gal.

I had a weird conversation with my taiwanese fren (who used to be my supplier) few mths ago, and now we have become good frenz, both are sentimental beings anyways, despite, he always thinks I am impractical, yet likes my crazy impracticality......so, that day, 

I showed him a diary - the things I wrote down. He looked at me and said -

gal, it's not for U! This thing doesnt suit u.

I then said, why? U keep hving it......few at a time, why it doesnt suit me?

becoz U r U, U dont belong to this thing

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........................................

As I pondered, I dont still get it why he said that, though I kinda do

certain things - people are born to deal with

while for some, it's better never to touch it

as it may destroy your being

Yet, I said, something is already cracked open

so, I cant really mend it back, paste it back anyways

might as well, just freaking dived in

As usual, everytime, he talks to me, he would end by shaking his head smiling

and I guess, one way he is admiring my crazy

one way he's disagreeing with "luv" with my idiocracy! :)

Ar, yes, I do hv many good frenz who luv me. :D

I am very curious.....from USA

Hi there,
I am very curious. Someone from USA has been reading my blog, and I want to know who U r and what U think of my entries and which one U like the best.
Pls send emails to dawn620@gmail.com
Million thanks. Thanks so much for dropping by.
Dawn

Everything

Someone told me, I have everything. I said, like what?

He said friends.

Ummmm. I think he's freaking damn right. I have frenz.

Like, my best fren from Naoto visiting from Japan, we have been frenz for......more than......8 years? 9 years? And we never ran out of topics. The most amazing thing is.....we are always on different bridges of life, but we always manage to say Hi to each other from the other sides, then yelled - Hey man, dont go that direction or cross that sea, it's NOT good!!! 

Then, other great frenz like Tea, Bruce, J, roomate E, and etc etc, I cant really name them all here, but they should know they are in the list.

I think, I really need a monthly thanksgiving moment to stop & thank. I hope you will do the same, becoz, in life, we should strive to stay happy, live better, luv more.....it's a torture to do that for some (incld me) but....if we could enhance the good karma, we would reap best things in life.

OK, I am trying to be +ve at a melancholic moment, so pls cheer with me!! ^^

Long Long time Ago

I met someone, who was the most unusual man on earth

he told me he was not from earth

so I got intrigued and asked

where he was from

he smiled and hinted with a secret suggestion....

I could never understand till today what he meant, he just drew a sign in the air

he told me, whenever he wud go, he would buy me a present (if he was on earth)

or he would get me a "present" if he was not on earth, I mean when he was travelling to another....places (?!?!)

I never understood and of coz never believed in him

however, as the weeks, months, years went by

every once in a while, I would get a little box

boxes with stuff

I mean, some were just unsually weird, I couldnt make out of it what they were

and at home, I got a secret treasure box to keep all the stuff from the boxes

I never showed to anyone, as I am not sure if there would be radiation

I know I would be immune as he drew a sign on me

he said it was for protection

for any evil deeds

for any evil thoughts

for any evil energy

we enjoyed each other alot

we strolled along some darkest corners in HK

we visited some of the most dangerous terrains in Melb & China

he did go to visit me once in Melbourne and once in China, never in S'pore though

as he said S'pore wasnt for his physical acceptance

I still couldnt get what he meant

guess he somehow always needed to drink hot coffee, hot tea

he said coz he always had low temperature

ummm, I never understood what he meant, as usual

Yet, he adored & cared for me

one day he told me, he got to go back to his "place"

I asked where

he smiled & drew a sign in the air

then one more sign on me

then another sign above my head

I asked him why the heck he drew on me again

he said it was invisible ink

he said coz I always wanted to go to Orion

"it's not a place to be, my sweet luv. it's hostile & they are barbarian. More barbarians than u could imagine, esp U should never go alone. NEVER. promise me. So the sign is for preventing U to go near Orion. So promise me now, you would stay here!"

"OK, I promise." 

(ie why my name is Orion Belt, as I couldnt go near Orion.)

So, sometime ago, I received another box

and it was a bracelet

I luved it very much

inside a note, he never sent note

he said i was a special gal and never to forget that

i cried, becoz i knew it was for a goodbye

i am not sure till today if he meant forever or just for a while

but regardless i know he got places to go

i sometimes wonder if he would just astral transport himself

or he wud ride on some form of spaceships

but i say a prayer for him everyday until today

that i hope he wouldnt feel so cold anymore

coz maybe other "places" dont serve hot tea or coffee

Maybe he reads it here one day

he would knock on my door and grin with his most beautiful eyes

yes his eyes, are big & beautiful, unusually piercing

at least he pierced my soul many times

ummm, ok, just some sharing

as it's a secret I kept for long time

today, as such, a day I feel I want to remember him

to let him know

i still hope his invisible ink works on me

i need such protection from now on, even more

:)

Huh, who and who??

My ex, Mr A - just told me he's coming back for a wedding in Sept. ummm....it's Mr I & Mr J. Then he went on telling me - well you know both of them. HUH!?!? WHO & WHO??!!!!

Honestly, I couldnt, except Mr J vaguely coz he requested me to help his ex-gf - kinda like a sex education thing. HAHAHHAHAHA............I guessed it's this Mr J as I couldnt recall any other J & J.

Honestly, I always have this. Hey So & So say Hi, or So & So say they know U......ummmm....WHO & WHO?? I am not being arrogant, I just want to state a point - most of the time, despite I do look intelligent, I am very very absent minded & very spaced-out all the time. I usually dont remember the names definitely or boring conversation about jobs or where u r going this vacation.......

So....if I dont remember you, pls dont kill me. Thanks.

Sometimes, U just feel amazed....

Yes, maybe I am good. I mean I am good at explaining me. Or communicating me.

Or, people are good.

I have met this guy. Mr Zadgar or Zoodgar, dont even know the name, man. He knows I am reckless and bored. Bored by....etc etc. He could explain it. I think he's a psychic. Or, just simply have an unusual IQ of 220. I dont get this often, as U know, I like to talk. I fight to talk. I mean, well, I am a fantastic listener too. I attain to details of one conversation. But, it's amazing that someone could "hear" me. Coz usually I just blahbla-ing. No meaning but full of substance. 

:)

Thanks.

We are All Screw-Up......

I think it's a fantastic thought. Somehow, we are all One in the screw-ity.

But I gotta say, I met one who to me....by far I couldnt accept. Usually as U know me, I am open-minded, liberal. I dont really care much what opinions one has on his or herself, or even on me. Or if u hold the truth of the world or secrecy of humanity, I really....dont bother much either, but of coz I always luv to talk & listen to different opinions. However, my fren, Mr Loo.....I told him that I was sorry  to even bother to argue or "enlighten" him, as hvnt seen him for so long, I totally forgot I was talking to....."him". 

His view on marriage....I just wanted to slash his throat. I mean, for surely he's not gonna be faithful to his wife, which I am actually cool with that. Most men or some women arent anyways, just abit of human nature....But his reasons of why he wants to get married.....is....how to say.....hahaha, shit, I couldnt even recall what he said as it just doesnt have any freaking points in his "belief" => ie my main problem with people like that. It's fine to have a belief, but pls have or make up some points in it.

Next, of coz I got offended, as he just shoved me into a cab so that the "men" could go & have fun. I feel absolutely offended. Usually, I would respect their boundaries, and left on my own accord. Hey, I am not gonna judge anyone....but dont shove me into a cab and pretend nothing is going to happen (which I didnt know if anything did happen - and not that I cared but I hated the action gutz, NO EVER a GUY fren treated me without some kind of supreme respect on such subject!!!!!!!)

Sleazy little jerk with no soul.

To Mr Pseudo SoulMate

I think I need to write it down, so that I dont ask such Question anymore - shuda, cuda, etc. This guy, Mr Pseudo, every once in a while I would think of him. As most of you know, I am not very fond of americans as I have number of experience with american guyz or bitches who just made me really mad. But though I do know some who are fun luving & kind hearted, he's one of those.

We met via a fren. Nothing much or so to speak a topic when we first met, but once I bumped into him by accident, so he took my number and he started messaging me and we would go out for drinks & so on. I had a bf then and we were hving a short break. So somehow I went out with Mr Pseudo quite abit.

Why I called him Mr Pseudo?! I think coz I thought he was gay. So I was really carefree when I went out with him, coz my best fren who just left HK. I was thrilled to have someone, who seemed to be so intrigued with my presence and felt so delighted to hear me speak. So He to me was a Pseudo Gay, and a Pseudo Lonely Person. And hence I always took him to a gay bar, haha, I thought I was doing him a favour - encouraging him to meet his luv or something. Of coz I was not that dumb, I thought maybe he wasnt gay either.

So, I went to his place upon his invitation. He didnt show any interest. Not even touching my soft smooth-skinned hand. OK. 1st confirmation. Then once he insisted walking me home, despite it was just 5 min away - so he hugged me really close, ok, it's not a same sex hug, it's more heterosexual hug. But not even a kiss on the cheek - OK. A lonely person who needed a faithful fren. OK, 2nd confirmation. And he "needed" to see me everyday - (to me, I am always afraid people being possessive, esp just frenz). So I started seeing him less.

He kept sending me msg why I didnt see him, why this why that. I got really frightened, as I couldnt understand why a person who shared the same sexual orientation as me (liking guyz) would be that "clingy". Then I think somehow he slipped that I meant so much to him,..blablah, and that he liked me very much blablah. Then I was so straightforward telling him that - I am sorry, I thought you were gay. I dont get it why you say all these things. He got really freaked & mad.

I think.....then I lost him as a fren. And our common fren - a guy - told me that he was.."xxxx", I couldnt recall the word he used but I think he was trying to say that he wanted to be with me or something. Anyways.

Then, after a while, we met again but I tried to keep a distance. And then he left HK and now is working in the desert. We didnt meet much few months before he left HK.

I have no idea why this person always appears to me when I walk along hollywood road. It's very odd. Maybe it was arranged that I shud ditch my ex and started something with him. haha, I dunno and dun think much about it that way - as hving regret or asking maybe I shud have done this & that isnt my practice, but it's very odd....whenever I feel abit lonely or sad, his face wud show up. I think why somewhat I miss him or think of him that way - coz somewhat maybe I feel "he accepted me and felt proud of me.....being my fren, being his fren". So, I should say he's my Pseudo Soulmate. "seems to be but I cudnt have a chance to know".....:)

After a year or 2, I did send him an email, as he just appeared to me quite abit.....but he was indifferent. ha ha ha........and guess time has past. I told him, I thought of him quite abit. Anyhow.........even that doesnt stop my head bringing him up here n there. I think the only way I could close this chapter is that.....to write it down. A msg to dedicate to someone special. I dont mind him showing up again.......if somehow his "essence" makes me less sad.......

Anyways, to My Pseudo Soulmate, thanks for your presence, that somehow makes me feel safe despite for that 1 sec or so once in a while, but that has been pretty enough for me. xoxo

Friends Come & Gone

I appreciate, cherish friendship alot. But,

I am very fine with this frenz come N go thing, as this is part of life.

I do my utmost to keep my friendship, but

I will let them drift away from me when it's time

Today, this is how I feel

some frenz r not meant forever

and after some years, it's time to toast them away

Actually I feel good

gone, and more to come

yet, I feel they deserve me mentioning here

Cheerio, frenz. Luv xoxo

Facebook

I had a good practice.

I had quite a handful best wishes msg for my bday on Facebook, it was sweet. However, I really want to use the opportunity to write something back to them. I dont use FB much anymore, except for posting my self-idolizing pics. I got not much word of wisdom or lamentation to tell the world, as I feel I should centralize my energy to write to people I care or here (for myself).

But when I wrote back to everyone, they were in my mind intensely. I really wanted to give my blessing to them, not just a thankyou, but maybe a word of encouragement. Most, we dont talk or meet ever, yet it's nice to say something nice to each other, making them feel like a million buck, which if translated, I shud hv more than 50million bucks, yeah!!??? hehe.

Once Upon a Time...

Anyways, what sparked me to write this is a bday comment from a long ago big brother figure I knew him back in Melb, if he didnt remind me (few times) that he still had the bookmark I gave him, I wouldnt remember "that period of me". I always sent very encouraging msg or I should say msg to people viz bookmarks. I had many - I would write some heart-felt msg maybe from my own inspiration or from the bible and give to people. I never really cared if people would keep it, as I then already understood human behavior, they never indeed appreciated sentiment, I still did it, coz it was from me, I wanted to bless the world, I wanted to bless people. I thought I had superpower. hehe.

He said I was still geekie at heart on FB, didnt change. As a matter of fact, he's so right. I really havent changed much. Actually I used to hate this geekiness of me becoz it's so abnormal. Now, I start to appreciate it more. Not that I draw more attention but I feel at ease being "geekie", you know. And I have learnt to keep this geekiness more at bay, not to the whole wide world, as I have learnt through life, to change the world doesnt mean you have to do it to the whole world. If I could influence one person once in a while, in turn this person smiles more or says something nicer to maybe another few people, then the world is better than it already 'was".

And of coz I remember, many times I would go over to his place which was very close to where I lived, which he shared with another dude or 2 (all christians, I think) - I would sleep on his bed demanding attention. haha....I think I would talk non-stop (actually I couldnt remember what I would say). Guess I never had a bigger brother or sister, I really wished I had one ie like him, so sweet & always played with me.....or just kinda spoilt me. Actually, I really looked like a geek with ugly glasses, poor fashion sense, fat....but very adorable....kakakaka...........(unlike me now, so pretty & sophisticated, hehe). Of coz he would know that I had a secret crush on him. hehe....And I gotta say, he was the very first person who lavished me with many spoiling moments, but then he dated some senior gal. I couldnt recall if I was very upset, guess I should, but then it was so familiar that I just didnt bother much...(I think? He needs to confirm it, haha coz I simply couldnt remember). I didnt have many men (maybe 2-3 max) spoling me as I was always so....how to say as others say - TOUGHIE. But when he put it on FB that I should be spoilt BADLY, yea yea.....I find my light. haha

Actually, nowadays, my frens be it men or women spoil me too. I am very touched in many ways. Spoiling is good, it makes one feel so special, in turn I spoil my frenz with attention, if got enough money, maybe presents. Actually in my mind, I always know what I want to spoil my frenz with....wait till I become successful, U will be lavished!

Anyhow.......I gotta say, despite all that I have been through, life has more meaning at this moment, at this day. Though, I am not doing anything different, actually I feel very sleepy right now, I dont do the normal bday thing, I am alone, etc etc......pretty much the same as everyday......I feel so delighted that someone has kept my bookmark. Something just small, yet, now it touches my heart back. :)

Friendship

As I mentioned many times, I am so blessed with many good frenz, who are genuine and smart. Ie why I like in people. And I did some silly thing, haha, I posted this on FB. actually I really like it as I am not shy about it. But then, people who like me may find me adorable....others may find me crazy. And I think.....I should keep this adorability to myself & people who like me only. I think they would think I am single & lonely. Yea, in some part physically it's true, but emotionally & spiritually, I really dont think so at all. Yes, I do feel lonely at times, but I am used to it, and I dont mind loneliness too - kinda cool at times. I think I am not forced to be alone, I prefer this way most of the time. I did say I wanted a companion - but it's more like....one day in the future. Now, I just want to enjoy my time, look after my dogs, find out more what I can achieve in life, read & study more on some subjects I find intrigued in. I think when I was in my early 20, my frenz already commented that I would be a loner, and it's true. I kinda feel like I am a nomad - moving on & on to another destination - myself, house or even frenz, yet I bring the best parts (of frenz) with me. 

My teacher once said, best & great frenz could (only) be found in high school or when young. I think he meant that when we grow/grew up, it's hard to find good & genuine frenz in this materialistic reality. I always want to tell him he's wrong, actually I got no high school best fren (except one - since she's as weird as me, haha, she wud request me to remove this - I luv UUUUU) and I got more best frenz when I am growing up. or now I am OLD.

However, it's the fact of life that people will drift apart, I think I already could feel few drifted, as I couldnt go out with them as much. Actually, I do feel abit sting, but then also I dont really mind. It's not meant to be then not meant to be. All I concern is to keep the best ones.

My bday wish on FB (deleted from there already)

1. My projects will always get the answer of YES faster => translate into wealth
2. I will find good food more attractive so I wouldnt just eat what I have been eating only => Health 

3. I will have more opportunity to travel so I can see and explore the world much more=> Meeting more people and enhancement of intellect

4. I will understand more riddles of the world and magic of deep thoughts => Wisdom
5. I will hear more good things from family (esp) & friends => Peace
6. More fantastic sex haha => climax and nirvana hehe

To my sweetest fren - Miss PuppyDoll

Actually I have known her since maybe almost 10 years ago...that was very brief. However, the universe always brings the best & sweetest person across my path to show me...that this world is beautiful. Yes, we met again almost 1.5 yr ago, at a very random concert - Muse (I am not fanatic for music - I didnt even know more than 2 songs of Muse then, I was following a muse to a Muse concert only). Then we just clicked at that moment. Strangely, when I met her 10 yrs back, I knew we SHOULD be friends. But somehow, I also knew it wasnt the moment. And somehow.....after so many yrs, I almost forgot all about it, even she was on my FB - and yes now we have become close frenz. hoho....god works in miraculous means & ways that we cant fathom at times.

I think, sometimes some of us look like lost souls, searching high & low, and we would question ourselves if we are outta our fucking minds, as we look, observe the world around us. People come in & out without knowing. Yet, we question why we have to KNOW. Maybe, somewhere in our little inner voice - we wish to be zombie, at least I am....I always want to be one. Can kill without feeling, so nice. So powerful. haha.

But I want to tell my fren that she's going to be OK. I know. I dont know about everyone, but I know about HER. She's going to be fine. Yes U r going to be fine. Your vision at 16, it will be realized. I am not talking to encourage her, YOU. no, I just know it's going to happen.

So whatever that's happening, u just need to let it go a while, feel it. Move on. And u will find the oasis. or spring....or a tree for shelter. :)

(HUGZ)

Thanks so much also for being such a support past few months when I was in despair. I am always here for YOU too. ^^

LUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Different Group of Friends

Last night, I talked to my high school friend for hours. Actually, she's the only high school friend I am still talking to.  And we were laughing coz it's like we were back in high school talking nonsense but we are willing to listen to the....kiddo-est things we gotta say.

I mean, I could always be myself 95% of the time with my frens. Yet, I realize, there's some so so so kiddo stuff that I cant even open my mouth to say it out, except to this high school fren. I luv her......

Then makes me come to think of it, maybe I mentioned it before, so basically I am repeating myself. We need different groups of frenz to make our net secured. I really think we cant just have one kind of best frenz, but multiply kinds. And truth be told, I am always blessed with great & cool frenz. And rgd best frenz, I actually have quite a number. I dont think for best frenz means I gotta tell them everything....different people cant accept different things, esp for a drama queen like me.

However, the quality of being my best friend is -

We gotta mutually respect each other, accept without prejudice. I know rest assured that he or she would be there if I need them, and vice versa. If it's something really urgent, I can call them 3am in the middle of the night and I know they would fly taxi to see me. (it never happens - I believe unless I am sick, I wouldnt call anyone at 3am.....hehehehehe). Though, I do recieve msg when my best frenz are drunk. Same, I would send msg if I am drunk at 3am to....my best frenz only. Somehow, when we grow up, we dont disturb people without reasons.

And I feel I am blessed with many great frenz whom we could cover various topics from UFO, Ancient Civilisation, Bible, Spiritual, Love Affairs, Business, Bullshits, Karaoke.......hohoho. Yes common frenz could be in these categories too, but mine are not....we could share the above plus other things. And I know, if they are not going smooth, they can come to find me anytime, and same here me to them.

Again, I luv U my frenz, My dudes, My galz.....MUahhahahaha

STARTING NOW, STARTTTTTTTTTT

oh. Housewarming, I meant.

I think I have already figured out where I should put all my tedious stuff. Only maybe 5% of tedious stuff I havent settled.......which are the worst nightmare as always. On top, both of the NOTTIE hounds are like inspecting me.....checking on me....dictating me.....It's really frustrating when they try to put their noses to what U r trying to grab or......when I squad down to arrange some stuff, they would jump on my lap, or they would try to take my hand away so I can touch them, stroke them. No wonder I can never keep a man.......kekkekeke

I believe my housewarming parties will start this wk. Tomorrow, My fren is taking her dog here. Then Friday, few of my frenz will be coming over. Then guess next week, I will get Bruce gang to come...then other & others. YEH!

My place is not that "nice" but my frens who dropped by said...they find here very cozy N comfy. I finally understand, I belong to vintage............vintage, old place suit me. I luv old places too. My floor, no one would be here after MN....luv it. ^^

LETS PARTEEEEEE

I am so KIDDO

U see, a fren - yes trying to court me - got a present for me from Mexico. I hope it's Mexican....hope not just grab it somewhere from USA.........but I so want to know what that surprise is.....man, hope he doesnt disappoint me. If it's not a good surprise or Mexican, I dont see him again. Maybe he would just get me a tequila.....lol..........that wud be nice too. Good for housewarming purposes. hehehehehehe

Just such a small gesture makes one so excited, I am so kiddo. But I luv surprises. Good ones, of coz. Having too many bad surprises for too long la.......need some good ones to make life brighter, yeh!?!?

Sometimes, it's just the shoulder.....

I didnt hv this for long time. After a farewell party, 2 frenz came to have dinner with me. We had a nice time.  SO we split then one of them stopped me.

Despite I didnt know him for long time, maybe altogether met for 4-5 times, he felt I was tensed and so we just nudged in a dark staircase to chat. It was nice to have someone to spend time with you at wee hour just to see how I was. I didnt know what to tell him, but I just bla bla........at the end, of coz he offered his shoulder but I couldnt cry either. He said, I shouldnt be too tough but the thing is.....I am not trying to be a tough cookie, I just couldnt. Anyhow, the only thing I could remember was before I hopped onto a cab to head home, I could melt myself in his hug, which was......something I hvnt got for long time. A hug of comfort. And it was........really nice.

No no no.............not bf potential. Id rather have more frenz than a stable bf now.

NICE!