11pm

In 30 sec, it's 11pm. I am freaking agitated. Freaking agitated. Freaking freaking agitated.
No, I mean irritated, agitated, melancholic, crazy mood swing, writing spree (which I am writing in 3 different places), moody, legless, wingless, caged..........

Ok, thanks, I pollute your eyes, I feel relieved, now 11:01, I feel better.

Iphone camera - Self-Help

Someone asked me - who took your pics?

No one! Just me! It's true.....unless my dogs can hold my iphone still.

Iphone App -LemeLeme - best ever for me, anyways.

Self-pic tips:

1. Hold the camera button first - decide what angle to take, release it (actually, I once met with Eason at his concert, he taught everyone that)

2. take multiple, as for surely some r blurry

3. use your knee, feet, arm-length, etc etc...................

Rarely post pics here, as I want to separate  my alienated personality with the reality, but well, once in a while is an order, I assume. :)

Clarification of terms - Princess

Right. Yes, I know. Someone asked....:)

Thanks for asking.

I luv questions. I have obsession with questions....one of my sickness. I luv questions.

Is there a medical term for it? hehe.

Somewhere in my blog I did say I HATED being "labelled" as princess, as in HK - HK princess means air-head, retard, demanding, look-like a japanese doll (my version of it), brat, etc........

Honestly, I am all of the above so I dont want to be "labelled" as one, hehe. But well.

Yet, I also said, I wanted to be treated like a princess. I guess, I have to thank someone I met few months ago, he called me princess, and I actually luv it. While, once a fortune teller said, I should live like a princess (which of coz if I rejected my "fate" of being a princess, hence, since I rejected it, I could no longer be one - and it's very true, too, in a way....). And now, to be more precise, since I luv the book "Little Prince" as I just esp luv the 1st page of the boa hat analogy - since reading this book, I determined to keep the childlikeness even more than ever. And lately, someone has recognized that - hence I would like to be called "little princess" by my special someone ONLY.

Other pple, pls dont call me princess. Angels, sweetie, darling, or asshole (believe me, many men call me that!!!), bitch, brat, yuck...............yah, all fine......not princess, as it makes me goosebumps, man! hehe. Below is another funny version of how men see "HK princess syndrome" in youtube, check it, maybe U could learn something about us HK galz. :)

How to please a man

Mr Writer sent me a list he stumbled on some site, and he shared with me. hehe.

Inside the list, to please a woman needs 54 techniques while men just 2....(being naked & bring food)

Then U should know this list is written by a man or collectively by some men

Yet, it makes men sound like a retard, I mean worse than a retard. In my head, it's like U just bring someone standing in front naked, bring food to feed them, while they would be drooling all over....isnt it worse than ONE?? hehe.

Ok, below is the list, I think for women, it's somewhat true, but I just demand to be treated like a princess, and I will make U KING! :)

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend   2. a companion  3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master  7. a chef  8. an electrician
9. a carpenter  10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer
22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent
30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious
38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich
49. not stress her out  50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

---

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Muse - Supermassive Blackhole

This is to dedicate to My Milky Way - he's the most amazing man I ever met and he's like Edward a tortured soul but with a beautiful spirit. Luv U always, xoxo.



Anyhow, I always luv blackhole - it's the reverse of anything ie normal. No light. More like a fridge, in a human term, I think. Yet I always think.....if I could go into Blackhole, it should be quite a fun journey, everything in reverse. hehe

Nicolas Spark

OK, I read one of his books, watched two of his novel-adapted movies.

I like Notebook the movie very much coz both of the leads, but books?! YUCK. Cliche, Cliche, Cliche.....

But one thing, I found that he's pretty good at depicting summer flings

as U know why? Coz summer flings signify one thing - time is limited

hence, when u hv limited time, everything becomes excruciating romantic & intense

Ummmm......I got my share too, I think

hehe, it was pretty awesome

Maybe I wud go N get another book of his

to mesmerize the forbidden luv

hehe

Norwegian wood

Someone very special gave me this book and so I am starting reading it. IBut as I passed through chapter 2, I have a thought. Yes this entry isnt about the book, but....maybe an inspiration or something else from this book.

As was discussing with different people, about, boring people, some would name it. Some of us would name - zombie, gray people, and lately Naoto called it CloseBook. I think they are super names, it's very simple to understand what we are referring at. As I am reading, I remembered something I thought about years ago. How a similar event affects one to such intensity that they will need to use eternity to manage the pain or torture, while for the others they would gradually let the pain & memory slip through them very fast. Not that the latter gang has no heart, of coz they feel the anguish, but they dont have what I call - process in their heart & mind - in another word, somewhat their mind & heart are not in tune. Yet, in retrospect, they will view the the other group as depressive or negative or crazy. Or, just maybe the latter has unusual ability to handle, process, like a rice cooker, miraculously turning rice into rice.

As for me, how do I manage this intensity, guess I was born with a quite good deleting system?! I tend to process then delete.....I am not sure if it's good or bad, but since I have a blog, I would put my memory here. Then, I feel in somewhat I pollute the world with my thoughts & emotions, and hence I feel less agony & torture.

But as of lately, words have no more power over me. I am somewhat wordless & thoughtless. I have been taken on a ride, a ride I never prepared for. Yet, I feel somewhat it was pre-destined. All these 2.5 yrs or even these decades, I was prepared for this ride. Though, I cant yet figure out if this is just a transitional ride for another, then, yet.....I am thankful for adventures. For the moments of refining my ideas. My mission in life. My preparation. For understanding humans. For living with humans. For being a human.

Of coz, there's no right & wrong. It depends what's best way to feed your existence.

I am very curious.....from USA

Hi there,
I am very curious. Someone from USA has been reading my blog, and I want to know who U r and what U think of my entries and which one U like the best.
Pls send emails to dawn620@gmail.com
Million thanks. Thanks so much for dropping by.
Dawn

Posting Comments here

Someone told me they couldnt leave comments here. Ummm, I like comments alot, if I dont like them, I will delete, but so far, I hv never deleted one yet.

All U need to do is to click on the "comments" at the end of entry, or go to the entry directly - then U will see a comment box below.

Hope it's smooth, if any problem, just..........ummm..........leave me a msg at the comment. :P

Everything

Someone told me, I have everything. I said, like what?

He said friends.

Ummmm. I think he's freaking damn right. I have frenz.

Like, my best fren from Naoto visiting from Japan, we have been frenz for......more than......8 years? 9 years? And we never ran out of topics. The most amazing thing is.....we are always on different bridges of life, but we always manage to say Hi to each other from the other sides, then yelled - Hey man, dont go that direction or cross that sea, it's NOT good!!! 

Then, other great frenz like Tea, Bruce, J, roomate E, and etc etc, I cant really name them all here, but they should know they are in the list.

I think, I really need a monthly thanksgiving moment to stop & thank. I hope you will do the same, becoz, in life, we should strive to stay happy, live better, luv more.....it's a torture to do that for some (incld me) but....if we could enhance the good karma, we would reap best things in life.

OK, I am trying to be +ve at a melancholic moment, so pls cheer with me!! ^^

Did I get a wrong name? LOOK!

Or, I got the best name?

Darkest hour before dawn, my fren told me.
Then now, even on a book, sex at dawn?? hehe

how come, my name associates so much with....dark, sex, etc.
What not, they also hv a book maybe, rich with dawn, prosper in dawn, or procreate
without dawn.........

hehe

Long Long time Ago

I met someone, who was the most unusual man on earth

he told me he was not from earth

so I got intrigued and asked

where he was from

he smiled and hinted with a secret suggestion....

I could never understand till today what he meant, he just drew a sign in the air

he told me, whenever he wud go, he would buy me a present (if he was on earth)

or he would get me a "present" if he was not on earth, I mean when he was travelling to another....places (?!?!)

I never understood and of coz never believed in him

however, as the weeks, months, years went by

every once in a while, I would get a little box

boxes with stuff

I mean, some were just unsually weird, I couldnt make out of it what they were

and at home, I got a secret treasure box to keep all the stuff from the boxes

I never showed to anyone, as I am not sure if there would be radiation

I know I would be immune as he drew a sign on me

he said it was for protection

for any evil deeds

for any evil thoughts

for any evil energy

we enjoyed each other alot

we strolled along some darkest corners in HK

we visited some of the most dangerous terrains in Melb & China

he did go to visit me once in Melbourne and once in China, never in S'pore though

as he said S'pore wasnt for his physical acceptance

I still couldnt get what he meant

guess he somehow always needed to drink hot coffee, hot tea

he said coz he always had low temperature

ummm, I never understood what he meant, as usual

Yet, he adored & cared for me

one day he told me, he got to go back to his "place"

I asked where

he smiled & drew a sign in the air

then one more sign on me

then another sign above my head

I asked him why the heck he drew on me again

he said it was invisible ink

he said coz I always wanted to go to Orion

"it's not a place to be, my sweet luv. it's hostile & they are barbarian. More barbarians than u could imagine, esp U should never go alone. NEVER. promise me. So the sign is for preventing U to go near Orion. So promise me now, you would stay here!"

"OK, I promise." 

(ie why my name is Orion Belt, as I couldnt go near Orion.)

So, sometime ago, I received another box

and it was a bracelet

I luved it very much

inside a note, he never sent note

he said i was a special gal and never to forget that

i cried, becoz i knew it was for a goodbye

i am not sure till today if he meant forever or just for a while

but regardless i know he got places to go

i sometimes wonder if he would just astral transport himself

or he wud ride on some form of spaceships

but i say a prayer for him everyday until today

that i hope he wouldnt feel so cold anymore

coz maybe other "places" dont serve hot tea or coffee

Maybe he reads it here one day

he would knock on my door and grin with his most beautiful eyes

yes his eyes, are big & beautiful, unusually piercing

at least he pierced my soul many times

ummm, ok, just some sharing

as it's a secret I kept for long time

today, as such, a day I feel I want to remember him

to let him know

i still hope his invisible ink works on me

i need such protection from now on, even more

:)

A promise on a date by Faye Wong

Attempting to translate into english one, not done good job, as the lyric is just too beautifully put. I dont read alotta poems but sometimes lyrics to me is some form of poem.....:)

Another version by Jackie Cheung

還記得當天旅館的門牌 (Still remember that day, the hotel number & signboard)

還留住笑著離開的神態 (we were still smiling while leaving. the smile burnt in memory)
當天整個城市　那樣輕快　(that day, the whole city was so light)

沿路一起走半哩長街 (and we walked along the roadside for half a mile)
還記得街燈照出一臉黃　(still remember the street lamp shining on our faces making us 

look yellowish)

還燃亮那份微溫的便當 (also lighted up the warmth of the food eatery store on the side)
剪影的你輪廓　太好看　(Looking at your perfect silhouette )

凝住眼淚才敢細看 (I had to control my tears to look again in details)

* 忘掉天地　(Forgetting the heaven & earth)

彷彿也想不起自己　(even, seems I forget about myself too)

仍未忘相約看漫天黃葉遠飛 (but I dont forget our promise, our date to gaze at the yellow

 leaves flying, roaming, dancing in the sky)

就算會與你分離　淒絕的戲　(even though I will have to separate from you, such a sad movie

....)

要決心忘記　我便記不起 (if I have to, I can forget, I wont remember)
明日天地　只恐怕認不出自己　(Tomorrow, the heaven & earth - I am just afraid I cant 

recognize myself)

仍未忘跟你約定假如沒有死 (But I dont forget our promise if we are still alive)
就算你壯闊胸膛　不敵天氣 (despite, you may not be able to fight the enemies of weather,

 of time)

兩鬢斑白　都可認得你* (till your hair turns grey, I still recognize you)

還記得當天結他的和弦　(still remember that day the smooth rhythm of guitar playing)
還明白每段旋律的伏線 (and there N then, I understood, every musical score has its 
designed set & climax)當天街角流過你聲線　(that day you left your voice resonanting at the street corner)

沿路旅程如歌褪變 (along the journey, just like a song fading away......)

Faye Wong revisited

Every once in a while, when I am slightly moody, I will revisit Faye Wong's old songs. Since she has all the torturing lyrics in almost every song........I really think I need to go to Karaoke, I mean I talked about for months, but didnt really get to really do a good song rundown...(singing). I need to go solo this time, I believe....haha..........

 (Chinese) chess

Saying how she has been controlled by the person, and using chess as an analogy of how. She isnt even the top "general" but just a little "soldier"

No regrets (just let me continue on my crazy)

I specially luv this song since long time ago- I could just play with the guitar(not gd at that, as know few chords), but....I think the match was very good. hehe.......I was more thinking about how I lived my life, back then, not so much - maybe it's a luv song....but to me, it;s more a self song.

Depicting how determined she is to continue on the journey , she's asking everyone to allow her to do whatever she is doing. Even there cud be tiredness, regret or whatever, but it';s no other pple biz, but hers one & only's.

I am Willing

Describing the most lonely, breathless & dark nights missing the love - asking just wanting to stay put for more one more second, and willing to be a outcast or even forget names......

Life

I find this to be a positive song, like singing to your kids, giving wishes to them - every tear, every dream U have will not go in waste, though life isnt rainbow, but all wishes go to them that they will continue to smile

Guarding the wheatfield

I LUV THIS SONG, as no one would fight with me to sing this, as I blasted the music to max, and everyone wud be deaf by then....yes my own version of singing. hehe.......I actually hvnt really heard her sing the whole song, this wud be the first time.....hehehehe.....arrogant hysterical bitch (me)!

Your are happy so I am happy

I luv this song - very goofy. Luv this kinda beat songs....very lazy, relax, like I could be napping on a old, vintage sofa on a Tue afternoon in Melbourne at the Fitzroy district.........

ENJOY!!! :)

No Longer

I am, no longer, heard
I am, no longer, overheard
I am, no longer, recognized
I am, no longer, known
I am, no longer, brought
I am, no longer, taken
I am, no longer, seen
I am, no longer...no longer.....

Smitten, kitten, very kitchen
ar, yes
abit
melancholic
but, I am gonna be alrite, yes, in due time

For your Love

Not sure if U watch Ally Mcbeal, one scene with a gal playing piano singing this song, I just fell in luv. I like her version 1000 times more but I couldnt find on Youtube, and Ed Townsend seems to be the original. The lyrics is cliche and boring but I like it.

And then read Paulo's quote on luv......I think it could continue on, but....still it rings!

Paulo Coelho

Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused

Ummmm, another oldies, enjoy! :)

For your love, oh, I would do anything
I would do anything, fo-o-or your love

For your kiss (ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh), oh, I would go anywhere (ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh)
I would go (ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh), anywhere, fo-o-r your kiss

More foolish I grow
With each heart beat
But we all get foolish
That's why I repeat

For your love (ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh), oh, I would do anything (ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh)
I would do anything, fo-o-or your kiss

I would do anything, fo-o-or your love (anything, anything, anything)
Fo-o-or your love
(ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ooh)