I dont have that many books.....N the Bible

I was trying to read World Without End....it's a huge and crammed book. But I was hoping something more fantasy-ie. Guess the title conned me. Maybe I should go back to Lord of the Rings instead. I am trying to pick a book from my shelf, nothing satisfy me, after reading Brida. Maybe I should be diligent enough to just finish Unbearable Lightness of Being - but this belongs to my on-flight read, so I dont want to finish it on land. It's not like I would be travelling but I am asking God to give me a job that makes me fly alot. hehe.

I guess, I finally get some things. So I hope books could ground me alittle. I feel May is going to be better. Less hurricane-like storms......guess there should be some lightning, but hurricanes shud be no more. Sigh, wasted so much time....why do we have to waste time to understand life? Why cant we have a menu that comes with already in mother's womb?! Then, its so easy to have a fulfilling life. Haha, but fulfilling life without scars - maybe it's not a real life. Why somehow I like christiany, it always talks about Free Will. Honestly, to many this "religion" doesnt sound like giving us that. But whatever ways to see, it's a good doctrine.

Though, can I challenge the christians abit.......where does in the Bible say God gave us Free Will? I couldnt recall anywhere I read it, just like Adam & EVE didnt eat "APPLE" - it's not an APPLE tree. Is it more like the Bible implies God gives us Free Will - then it wouldnt be exactly God's word, rite? It's more like human interpretation.

Lately, I do want to read Bible again. Little known to many, it's a great book. I mean, for christian, it's spiritual essentials. To me, it's wisdom essentials.

Ummm.....good I am starting to use my brain to rationalize things again. hehe.

yes ie what I need to do now., rationalize & internalize.

YEA, all about me reaches 100 ENTRIES la. ^^

My way to tame my wild horse - no.1

WATCH X FILES.
hahahahaha.................I find X Files tame me. It  calms me.
Somehow, aliens can tame the wildness inside.

I LUV X FILES.

Shadow eye look look Lottie bungie jump

CLICHE ME

I watched this show....more than 3 times, hehe....CITY HALL - CLICHE KOREAN. LUV IT, though. hehe.
Just wanna share some songs here....^^

I love you again and again





Uncertain Luv
Dont freaking know what she sings but everytime it brings tears, dunno why.



Dont say Goodbye
Luv the lyrics....man.....hahahahaha

I AM JEALOUS

Bruce had a very very detailed ploted Inception dream

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I want it too.
Maybe I am too shallow. Shits.

:(

My First Chapter....

no, it should be my 1st page....of the first chapter of the book I was planning to write after a super sci-fi concepted movie dream - yes humans could walk under water and I was one of the being trained ones. LOL...yes in my dream! 

Argh, but then my ideas were abit scatchy and complicated, I didnt continue it, as I wasnt sure how to connect the dot....from Matrix recycling human to my underwater training to I was mummified and then brought back to life.....knowing that by one touch I could turn things into salt. LOL

Abit stupid huh!!??? Never mind.....

Let me show U the first page now.

Current Time: 2015 Dec

Weather: Gloomy

View: The moon is unusually huge

Orion and clusters of unknown-name stars are observable from where I sit

Temperature: Unusually a warmer day than the last three Dec nights

My memory is drifting off to 3 years ago, when the moon was just a 5 dollar coin size from where I sit.

I once said

The saddest thing a person has is lack of hope. Someone told me before they lost hope. Umm, I always argue that it's the worst kind of death sentence. Then another fren called me the other day talking about life vision, life goal, direction, etc......

Kinda started me thinking. No matter how much I dont want to be a zombie all these years, somehow I have been one for many years, in many ways. Where do all the years , seconds, minutes gone to, gone by?

I went for some interviews, that accelerate how I feel. I cant blame it on bad luck. I cant blame it on the assholes. 

As I am trying to take on the responsibility to myself, I think I still have hope. It's so easy to blame others for our sufferings. I dont like people blaming on the universe or god or their parents or their whatever.....

I always think that somehow I am given many opportunities to challenge my width of  talents, my depth of wisdom, my length of patience.......somehow I so believe in karma that I really hope I could live off all the karma of the past. I always believe there;s a reason why I gotta go through all these years. Hence, I always have a mission that I would be there for people who are lost, who have sorrows......and someday I should write a book to encourage people based on my experience, my theories, my thinkings. Ummm, this blog is a way to do so. As people glance through it, they could see my struggles - I am not as arrogant as I appear. Not as smart and tough as people believe. I am but a mere human with some ET outerspacey ability. hehe.

I trust that my life is going to be fine. Not just fine. It's going to be fantastically fabulous. Though, honestly this time is hard for me to believe it, yet......in order to not waste all my efforts, I need to press on believing it I will be fine, I will be fabulous. How could I not? The universe is fair, as I believe. As Always U need chaos before calmity. U need asymmetrical before symetrical. U need emptiness before full.

I luv the fact that.....even a broken clock could be right twice a day, meaning, I get chances to be right afterall.

:)

Wild Horse

Emotion is wild horse, how can U tame it?
Sorry, I believe these couple weeks, whatever I am writing here is going to be absolutely bullshits. And I am sorry to blind your eyes with so much depressive thoughts, nagging ideas & negative negative.

I just cant help it, and I dont want to tame it AT ALL.

My high school fren laughed at me today. :(
She said I deserved it. haha, she;s kinda rite. I used to mock at her too much.
Always asked her to get a grib........shits said now  I am shits. :(

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
VINDICATE ME.
RELEASE ME.
DILUTE ME.
DIFFUSE ME.
SCATTER ME.
OSMOSIS ME.

Sorry......I am really really really really distorted today.
Sorry.

How to tell...

I am moody.

I started writing a short story, I stopped after 3 lines.

I started writing an email, I stopped after 10 lines.

I started writing a letter, I stopped after 30 lines.

I started writing here, I stopped after 3 lines of 3 different entries.

Then I discarded them.

Suddenly I want to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer - coz it's so juvenille and funny and witchy.

All demons, magic.

Or maybe I should start reading The Great Dialogue of Plato.

Inspiration. Aspiration. COME UNTO ME.

COME DOWN IN A FIRE.

Restless, LEAVE ME. CAST U OUT IN THE NAME OF SHADOW & LOTTIE.

Thoughtful. LEAVE ME. CAST U OUT IN THE NAME OF MAUS.

Ich verfehle ihn

Just some scattered reflection

I was thinking. I am a person who remember people's eyes alot.
I observe the eyes, listen to the words (vocab).
I could remember if I like someone's smell or not.

Ummm, then I realize, actually I am not sure what I want to say, I have 2 thoughts.
First one is - I realize I couldnt remember his eyes. Except by impression, he has sad, lonely, tired eyes.
2nd one is - would it be possible that my soul connection I thought I had with him was not real? Ummm, yet, it's hard for me to comprehend also.

How could one be able to communicate with the soul, not remember the eyes?
And how would one need the eyes when the soul to soul have connected?

Ummm.............WOW, new things everyday!

Great Pickup Line

In Ancient Persia, they had this custom.
Whoever is paying the bill of the night, named the KING of the night.
So he will have one bottle of wine, one bottle of water in place.
2 glasses.
If he pours into 2 glasses same portion of water & wine, it means he wants to talk both serious & pleasure issues.
If he pours more wine, means he wants to talk pleasure stuff.
If he pours more water, means he wants something serious.

NOW writing it doesnt seem very pick-up-ky. BUT,
when I was reading it, I knew it would be my great pickup line to get someone to pay for the bill.

HEHE. Adopted fr Brida.

Wine = my perfume?! & Others

- OK, I have met some different people who told me they liked wine or they tasted wine or something like that, but never someone has taught me abit of how to taste & smell, esp white. Sorry, I suck at this area. Also, I dont have much patience in diciphering "the wine". But last nite, this new friend of mine taught me alittle bit, and that wine reminded me of my own perfume, and actually he agreed. It was FUN. Didnt know that White Wine could have "different layers" too, but to me, I couldnt tell the layers, more like segmentation. hehe. FUN. It tastes unlike other white I used to drink, guess they were cheap then.....haha

- Ear-Rings. 

Sigh, I luv this teardrop vintage like ear-ring so much but I kept losing them.....until one left. Yes I had 2 pairs, now only one left. Luv it......but well, never mind, my hair is longer so I just wear one side instead. Hope I could find something like that somewhere again one day.

- Brida.

Was reading this  book by Paulo Coleho, it's about soulmate & tradition of Sun/Moon. Well, didnt even know I got this book.....anywhow, I finished it within a day. I always wanted to finish one of his books and finally I managed it. I luv some of the quotes and will post it here someday. However, it speaks very similar as my thinking.......I think really it's time I should start my book writing.

- Shadow

LOOK AT HER!!!! Her eyes are bigger now. WIll take her to vet tomorrow....I really hope it's simple liver infection. Oddly, she became more active after I came back from my trip.....and esp I kept telling her no matter how I would do my best to save her. Ummm, finger crossed.

- Books

Contemplating what's next book to read. Should read more, yea. yea.

Look Alike Sammi & Housewarming

As my bookshelf arrived, and the balcony chair set came....I was trying to assemble them, the result was great but not without damages....yes MY TOE. I hvnt hurt my toe for ages....OUCH. So painful.

Then my few of my frenz came, just to visit my dogs.....and of coz I revealed my past, yes photo album. LOL....they couldnt recognize me at all. And then I saw one that I was asked  by a japanese photography student to be his model....gosh, it's so funny!! And then I realize that why my ex said I looked like Sammi, some angle I do look like a little bit.

And then my fren reminded me I promised of housewarming, but honestly I dont think I wud have one. Maybe just have a flow of house parties at my place, whoever is free, bring some expresso capsules (yes my fren is going to buy me an expresso machine, hehehehe), or wines, or candles not from Ikea. I will be sure to present my photo albums, I am sure U r gonna be amazed, and in awe....lol....then some drinks, cheese, snacks at balcony.....WHAT A LIFE!!! I just had my first lunch at balcony - SUPER COZY!!!!!!

Show it here some of the pics I took like years ago as a "model" lol

I just luv this kinda vintage dress......I am gonna stay fit and to be fitted into these again, before I turned 40....hohohohoho........no, 45..........heheheheheh

ENJOY.

For the ugly but adorable pics from Uni, U gotta visit my place to check that out. :D