Conclusions

I have been making dreams.....it's interesting. I luv it. I luv tapping into that world. Maybe it's subconscience talking, my life shouldnt stop here....there are much to dream on. My frenz, to be frank.....I am at the very end of tunnel. I got no idea how to move on, esp I always had a heart. Now, actually it's broken. I mean my mind, my ego, my being could get broken down and I will always find ways to rebuild - but the only thing left, my heart (my soul) has been taken away, I feel that void and helplessness. Anyhow.

I, as me, never give up that easily. Always find ways to self-inspire. What I am doing is I start to get interested in spiritual journey that many people talk about. I am reading up on Camino. Will see if it would re-ignite some fire within, actually, I already knew - it will. 

Somehow, since young, I know I am a spiritual person, but maybe to christians, I am a rebel. hehe. Anyways. I once visited a medium, she said I would become a channelist one day. Then another kinesiologist (muscle testing master) said I would become powerful (guess he meant spiritually). To be frank, I knew it. But I walked away from it, as I got really scared by ghosts or power. I mean I always wanted to be a superman, of coz..........I may want to re-read the Bible if I got a new one, as I gave mine to my japanese best friend when he left HK as a gift for his soul. Anyways..........

Lets see. I would become a witch or a saint. kakakakaka

an explosive, mechanical dream

Wow, I luv this dream as it has some kind of mechanical thing behind it, though I think it's not entirely sound, but I believe in another universe, it may. HAHA.

I was at a building. With quite a no of artists in an apartment. Each could present their own work. My friend, I think it's him - POW (we are not that close but he's a photographer in real life), so he was showing his "painting" or "patchwork"......it was a cozy place indeed. The bldg is not the chinese one, more like a french old building or Mediterranean sort, not sure until I visit one some day. 

Anyhow, the whole bldg, I suspect, inhabited everyone that we knew.....somehow there was a commotion, so simultaneously, everyone was opening their door and shut it. So somehow, it created a vaccum suction - and BOMB, the walls blew up and flew all the stuff to everywhere. And...we human got caught into middle of it, and as for me, I got various parts stuck in my arms and stuff. However, it was kinda casual and I just pluck them out like a sting - no bleeding or whatsoever.

Then "police" came and accused of POW - supposedly an engineer as well. He was accused for not staying in the bldg to ensure the intact of the bldg, as at that universe, an engineer was responsible for such cause.

Actually, I am just attempting to write, but it was not even 5% close to what I saw in my dream.

SO COOL......^^

Maggie & Leon in My dream....

Man, I have been having really vivid dreams lately. I am trying to put them down as best as I could.

I dreamt of a conversation between Maggie Cheung & Leon Lai. And I was present.

I believe he was asking her at various occasions - so you never told me how you wanted me to treat you. Tell me what I should do. Why are you not letting me know what I should do, etc etc etc.......so I could be with you.

Maggie wasnt responding much and somehow I felt she was upset. So I stepped forward and started scolding him. 

- WHAT!??!?!?! You need her to tell you?!?! ok, WELL, have you even bothered to have started doing anything without knowing "the criteria"? 

He was dumbstuck.

So if not, then why the heck you are asking her. You havnt even tried, and U r asking her???? I AM ASKING U AR, HAVE YOU EVEN TIRED AR???? ANSWER ME LAAAAAA

Then MAggie tried to pull me away and asked me to go....so I could calm down myself. Then I saw my ex....he dressed in the most horrible some kind of knitted wear...............he was trying to talk to me, I was like trying to growl at him. hehhehhee.....guess everytime I got tantrums in dreams, when I feel like yelling at someone - he would appear!!!! LOL

STARTING NOW, STARTTTTTTTTTT

oh. Housewarming, I meant.

I think I have already figured out where I should put all my tedious stuff. Only maybe 5% of tedious stuff I havent settled.......which are the worst nightmare as always. On top, both of the NOTTIE hounds are like inspecting me.....checking on me....dictating me.....It's really frustrating when they try to put their noses to what U r trying to grab or......when I squad down to arrange some stuff, they would jump on my lap, or they would try to take my hand away so I can touch them, stroke them. No wonder I can never keep a man.......kekkekeke

I believe my housewarming parties will start this wk. Tomorrow, My fren is taking her dog here. Then Friday, few of my frenz will be coming over. Then guess next week, I will get Bruce gang to come...then other & others. YEH!

My place is not that "nice" but my frens who dropped by said...they find here very cozy N comfy. I finally understand, I belong to vintage............vintage, old place suit me. I luv old places too. My floor, no one would be here after MN....luv it. ^^

LETS PARTEEEEEE

Need Help

I guess Bruce will help me. Ummmm, I think it's time I should start on my books, all whirlwind feeling has stopped and thunderstom, hurricane have already subsided. It's time, I should compile something together....

I am re-watching My Sassy Girl, actually it was started from the internet blogging. I mean the story is so simple, but it offers enough mild twist with lovely moments to spark a movie....

Guess mine should be enough from a Triology - but the 3rd one should be shot after I am dead. heheheeheheh

See See who wants to help me to sculpt the ideas together.....:D

I am so KIDDO

U see, a fren - yes trying to court me - got a present for me from Mexico. I hope it's Mexican....hope not just grab it somewhere from USA.........but I so want to know what that surprise is.....man, hope he doesnt disappoint me. If it's not a good surprise or Mexican, I dont see him again. Maybe he would just get me a tequila.....lol..........that wud be nice too. Good for housewarming purposes. hehehehehehe

Just such a small gesture makes one so excited, I am so kiddo. But I luv surprises. Good ones, of coz. Having too many bad surprises for too long la.......need some good ones to make life brighter, yeh!?!?

Just FUCKING step

I jsut fucking want to throw my dogs out
THEY fucking follow ME EVERY FUCKING STEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
I cant do anything, as SHADOW just wants to see if I got any food to eat
BEFORE I begged her to eat, she ignored me
NOW SHE WANTS TO FUCKING OVEREAT
SHE EVEN WANTS TO EAT ME

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK, thanks, I just need to yell somewhere.

Trouble

Lyrics | Kelly Clarkson - The Trouble With Love Is lyrics

Seriously

X Files tames my emotion.
I had a test during these few days.
I watched lighter movies like - I should say rewatched them - Luv actually, Luv in the Puff, My Sassy gal - these movies were supposed to be funny, of coz they have a twist of romance too. ARGH...shit, died. So now I can only turn on X Files.
Well, I dont hv pure nutty american comedies....maybe I shud go n get some. I dont even know which would make me laugh.....I just cud remember - SOmething about Mary was the only movie that made me laugh till my head off......but of coz that was like thosand years ago.

:)

Dream about my Parents

LOL.....how they got me!!!!!

Well, first off, I had a dream about a psycho......I couldnt remember if he had some kinda superpower or not. I just remember he knew he was trying to call me, and I was trying not to answer the call, and I used I got a project somewhere...etc etc.....and he went there to look for me......buzzing me......the fact was I was so tired that I went home to sleep.....inside the dream, I was quite scared of him, somehow I knew maybe he would kill me or something.

Then, the next moment was how my dad & my mom met....I always believe they had me hence they got married. I never confirm with them. hehe...anyways...........inside the dream, my mom was very chic kinda gal back in her time, they were dressed as 60's, 70's look. And she was out with her frenz (actually I think they told me in real, they met in a picnic or something, very old-school)......she wanted to dance. Then, there was this special effect fog inside of the "disco"......ie where my dad appeared. He started to chat my mom up but my mom was kinda ignoring him. He said it's his first time, my mom of coz was abit skeptical about that. Then, my mom was trying to find her frenz, and my dad asked her "dont leave me here"....kakakaka, she was really quite chic & pretty there. Anyways, the final shot was my mom couldnt get home so my dad brouight him home............of coz the bed thing I didnt dream but I knew what they were doing next.

LOL, I AM SO SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.....................................

Weird, maybe I hv had alotta dreams about my family, only these 2 nites I could remember.

Hangover is actually good...

Well, first off, I have to say this....lately whenever I have few more drinks, I do have a bit of hangover, not as good as a drinker than before, lack of practice. The worst thing is that, I would sleep for maybe 3 hrs, then somehow I would get up and couldnt go back to sleep maybe after another few hrs. It's very traumatizing, as U r supposed to sleep, rite....?!?! Then I would force myself to eat something.............then try to get back to sleep.

However, I find that now I kinda understand why people would go drunk after some moodiness....or broken heart, coz hangover is worse than feeling sad............it's very disturbing in your head, your body, so kinda it makes me forget why I am not happy about - which in magical way makes me happy and hopeful again. I mean, hopeful in terms of my alone future......it's very enlightening for me.

Now, I am super tired and sleepy, but I just took shadow to vet.....and gotta go back and pick her up now. I just gotta get home to check on Lottie, as she wud be super mad why I always brought the big sis out and never her..................so I gotta go back and let her see me......sigh, being a mom is so difficult. U gotta take care of each of their feelings. I think being my dogs are so lucky in a way too...........a mom would run around like that for both of them............I hope they do know I am a good mom and luv them very much. hehe

Lesbian Dream

I had 2 dreams today. Though, I had some kinda hangover....I had one 50cl or a pint(?) hoegarden, 2 white, then some chiva, some more beer at K......YAWN.

OK first dream.

I was taking my sis boy somehow to go to a theme park with very thrilling rides. I did put him on alotta clothes, and when I arrived, my mom told me that he was cold.....then I said, maybe forgot to let him wear a scarf. Then, somehow I made my whole family (no dad) to ride the game....and it was quite scary. I kept thinking maybe somehow the ride wud throw my sis boy out. hahaha.....but in my head I was actually thinking, how often I forced them to do the things I want to do....:P

Then, 2nd dream was a lesbian dream. She's a korean. Not so much we did stuff. It was more talking but I kinda knew we were an item.However, we were kinda breaking up as well. I am not sure I was actually a man or a woman in the dream, lets assume I was a woman to make it more interesting. 

Anyhow, I was at her place. She rented a very unusal corner......I believe the house has few storey, all open space. So each floor (very small, maybe max 200 sq ft or 20 sq m) and with the bathroom at the top floor. Then somehow, we gathered to play a board game.......with other dudes. And I recognize one face - she appeared in my dream before. And she was pregnant and we were congratulating her for her wedding in coming days.......weird, huh!!??

Guess, maybe I was in my alternate universe. I went there once in a while with my present soul. hehe.....I could very well be a les there, or bi. I prefer bi....more choices. hehe. Thoug what fathomed me was the gal that I knew.....she was in my other dreams....ie the weird part, guess she was single before and now in this present tense, she was getting married.

Ummm, apart from believing in fairy tales, I do believe in alternate universe. I mean more like being intrigued by it, as it's I believe why we have deja vu, or dreams like that.

Interesting!!!!!