seeing sweet msg makes me so sweetened up , BUT

It wasnt for me.....hahahah............:(
Well, I gotta know this german guy and he went back to Germany. I know that he has a gf in HK. And of coz he's in my Facebook. Every few days I saw his msg like "I couldnt believe how much I miss my babe" or "yeah, one more week less to see my babe"...................

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So sweet. Never had that in my life.

But guyz.......do that, tell your galz, they will do anything for you when U declare it. :)

It all starts from a battle

When you are not in your 20's, everything becomes more logical, more rational. Someone told me, now it's even harder to define liking someone, let alone "luving" someone. He's saying it takes more to do so anyways. I completely agree with him.

But, the feeling of being "in luv" or "adored" is something so magical. It makes you smile 100 times more in a day. It makes you walk 100 times more lightly even you walk on the same path each day. It makes you want to wear something colorful. It makes your heart feel the need to stay alive, to stay positive, to be ALIVE. 

I wonder, if this is a battle for us, or at least for me. 

To be frank, I wouldnt & couldnt go all the way to fall in luv or to be in a relationship. NO WAY. I just couldnt anymore. It has too much at stakes. I dont believe in "romance" much actually......but I want it. This is the complexity to our human mind, I suppose, The infactuation, the in-luv - I believe it starts from a battle of our logical mind & our emotions - I wouldnt want to use "heart". Sometimes, I wonder if I am indeed liking that person or I enjoy the battle more.

Movies, Songs talk about such battles.

And I am getting to understand those movies N songs more. haha. Late learner. I think it's great that sometimes things dont happen as fast as we want, actually the longing for that feeling grows or die....it depends of coz. But that's not a matter anymore, as that period is the battle. Once you so called "win" the battle in whatever means, that butterfly feeling is gone.

I have been dicussing with few people, mind is the biggest stimulator of anything. Indeed. So, I couldnt help but wonder, if luv starts from heart or the mind 1st? For me, definitely it starts from the mind. As it creates visuals, images, - actually it creates feeling. I gradually think what's the role of our heart. It doesnt seem to govern this part of emotion, except feeling the pain. it's weird, isnt it? People say you use your heart to luv, but I really think that only confines to agape love (herbrew - unconfitional love) such as luv for your kids, luv for my pets.....so unconditional. But once it's another human being, honestly, only saints could exercise agape for the people.......I know I couldnt. No wonder in Bible talks so much about god's luv, indeed, it's beyond comprehension & it's indeed un-human to be able to achieve such level.

So is there any conclusion? From me, not really. Guess this is an open subject. If you dig abit deeper, maybe you would realize something more profound on your own! One thing I know, I couldnt stop listening to Faye Wong lately......weird.

Art of Being Discreet

I got a call at 11pm, a woman voice started "jagging", I thought there was a big problem that occurred. Sigh, again, it's gossip. Not trying undermine her feeling, I could only tell her whatever she said with me ended with me too. What does she expect?

I sometimes find people will tell me stuff, not coz I am purely a good listener, but they try to probe me if I know anything else. Sorry, this thought isnt pure, but I am very sensitive how a person phrase a conversation. That's why I am always one on one with frenz, I dont like to cluster in a group. I get really turned off that I have to deal with each individual emotional issues, while I have to listen to their gossips about one another. I am too old, or they should think they are old enough to be OK to live without such a bunch of frenz, if their past time is to gossip each other.

Well, my topic isnt even talking about frenz. haha, but it derives from there. I think.....funny....really.....in my eyes majority of people are very dumb, incl me of coz. We thought we mastered the art of being discreet. Yet, to be frank, I dont see many who excel at it. I would say I am OK, but not good enough. However, I gotta say, my closest frenz would indeed tell me stuff that shouldnt be known by others, I enjoy this confidence - but if they start to spread other's little secrets around, then it's not even funny, it's super moron behaviour.

I know many men like to talk to me, I guess, coz they know I am  very absent-minded, or open-minded, or non-calculative person with a sense of what it means to be discreet. I dont esp over-react or get over-sensitive of what they have to say. Usually, I tell them off right at their face that they shouldnt do certain things, but then I accept who they are and what they do. Does it really matter that you are right & they are wrong? Does it matter that they are a sinner & you are a saint? Why judge?

Actually, people who tend to judge couldnt be discreet. Remember this my frenz. Stay away from judgemental people, as your little secrets could never been kept, or never attempt to have any rendezvous with such people if you want to be discreet. TRUST ME.

I should change this title to dont gossip instead, but actually I like to gossip about pple that I dont like, haha. Anyhow, it's not a very relevant or intelligent entry, but I will ponder on this topic and hopefully I could come out with something astronomically orgasmically inspiring. :)

Without doing anything or even meeting anyone

I have been called - A great Valentine's.

hoho, thanks europeans. :)

A Better Fit Mirage Song

Kept listening to Faye Wong these days.....now I dont like her, I used to luv her bitchy style.

王菲 - 怀念 歌詞

關起滿室 不足的氧氣 點著煙蒂 回味你的呼吸
搜索腦裡 爲完的龃龉 對著空氣 還擊著你的問題
推辭每次 真實的相距 困著自己 渴望著你的消息
沾沾自喜 拒絕的魅力 不著痕跡 享受著與你的距離

也許喜歡懷念你 多於看見你
也許喜歡想像你 多於得到你

懷念 歌詞
音樂 ABC

關起滿室 不足的氧氣 點著煙蒂 回味你的呼吸
散落一地 斷續的謎語 對著空氣 還擊著你的問題
推辭每次 真實的相距 困著自己 渴望著你的消息
翻來覆去 甜蜜的懷疑 故作神秘 延續著你的好奇

也許喜歡懷念你 多於看見你
我也許喜歡想像你 不需要抱著你

ＡＨ.....

也許喜歡懷念你 多於看見你
我也許喜歡想像你 受不了真的一起

In a Mirage

I am experiencing a mirage moment.
It is abit awkward, as it seems surreal yet surely unreal.
Anyways, I just luv this song so much.....today, was reminded of it.
(before I realized its the V day)
Totally unrelated.

But songs sometimes could indeed remind us a moment of our life
how we feel, how we think
guess this song represents the residue of my romantic soul (which is scarce by now)

:)

My toes circulation is COMPROMISED

Becoz at 3am, I am wearing a 4" very pointed stiletto while working. Actually, heels is not painful just while walking, sitting as well, as it squeezes your circulation. I havnt been on any form of siletto for at least 3 years. So, my new CNY resolution is I should be in some from now on. Yet, it's a pain in the feet to walk around HK with it.....road not flat, with stairs at MTR, except taxi in & out or with chauffeur.

I realize that one week CNY + last week at BKK, I got so much to catch up, esp with China finishing their CNY long holiday. I am starting to get really nervous, as I have been really laid back. So much to do, to prepare, to propose, to arrange.....I hope all these will pay me off good. Really. I need to work hard.

Usually bare feet at home, now wearing siletto purpose is to remind me that I gotta work hard so I can get a chance to play one day in siletto. haha, super nonsense & silly...................but it's gd training to my toes N feet anyways...........

Another Compliant

Either never got any ANY email of info from the EU company for 2 years, or I get thousand of emails from just one person with all scattered info in 3 days. Now I am so fucking confused.................which info is accurate............Shit!

Happy Vday

O mine, I actually found it weird someone asked me if I got a date today, and I said NO coz I got so much stuff to catchup, let alone all the movies from PPS are awaiting for me to browse. Then it occured to me, it's Vday and I totally forgot all about it.

My feeling?

No feeling? I dont need a valentine, actually I got few already. They are just waiting for me to nod, yet I am not desperate even to find time to nod, see how it goes, see how I feel, blablablah. I dont want valentines. I want fun fun fun, crazy adventures, I dont want a sweet date with the shitty restaurant decoration N set menu. So boring & cliche. I dont want flowers, esp fresh. I want really really expensive gorgeous fake flowers....hehehehe. If a man could find, I give him 5 days of any request adventure......lol

arr, crazy talks.

No, I really think it's great that lovers would spend the time to stop and ponder their luv or romance on such a date. It's good to be reminded at times, but being desperate about it is meaningless & tiring, at least for me. I hope everyone reading this has his/her own valentine, for me, my notebook is. I hope it doesnt die on me for another year, ie my notebook's valentine gift to me. :)

long time, since I have such stress

Few days ago, I got an email from this lady of the European Co that I work with - she asked me what's my vision for the cosmetic brand she's in charge with for TWN & China................WHAT? I dont even think this brand has a place anymore here, as not everything comes from France is popular. But how could you tell her, when she cc to the BIG SHOT?????

I hate people just dumping me such stupid question, when she doesnt even tell me what she really wants? My vision????? As a consultant, of coz it's sales driven - but for the "internationally known brand" from snobbish french, how on earth do I know?! First off, repackage the packaging - they look so old-school. Can I tell her? No....becoz she's not sitting face to face with me. Maybe she should just fly me to Europe 1st then so I understand better what's "high end", haha...sorry, it's so NOT high end. I would totally suggest her to go parallel import N online shopping solely.........re-building such an old-school brand via finding a distributor is unlikely, esp it's damaged by placing in wrong location now - SaSa. It was in Lane Crawford before, but that was like 10 years ago.

I re-wrote the email three times at least, as I got lost what kind of tone I should put. It's not one of my usual contacts, which I could frankly explain the situation, nor they would be attempting to pay me high income to do it. Yet, I could not NOT answer, as I know they are also trying to test me in somewhat. I really hate working with them now.................my job with them is supposed to be simple, I am not their employee. Why would they need me to be enthusiastic or devoted to their team or vision..........I am merely their consultant who make ends meet by making some commission with no fucking health benefit or bonus.......what do they expect me to be excited about? Except, I diligently get more orders, not for them, but for myself!

And one more thing I am so thrilled in getting mad about is that they talk so much bad things behind each consultant back, of coz the fucking french E has a role in it. I want to find a medical term to describe him. You know, for next meeting, I am going to record what the fuck he says and uses it as evident. I dont even know what his schemes are, yet...............since I am not a staff, all I need to expand (not excel) myself is to get contacts, contacts, info, info, from these bastards.........................Guess with good chinese genes, I am patient enough & acting dumb enough........hope I will win, seriously................I hope I am smarter, really, then I could win faster. 

Stress! In a very prolonged, tedious, and unspoken way.