CALMNESS

My fate is somewhat going to be determinded by a conf call by a bunch of europeans. Isnt it cool????

Shit, I should be shitting myself freaking out now. But I am very calm like hte silent Space. I guess my last 2 years of training and many years training my EQ (from -ve EQ) from my neurotic, suspicious bossesssssss..........I learnt my lesson. The only way to combat this fear is to ignore it. Find more things to do. Ie why I have been sending out many many emails on proposing business co-operation.

What if it's bad news? Honestly, I will be happy too, as this gives me a direction. Finally, I can let go completely. Feel suck for sure. But I have done my best. I will work on something else. It's like a bad relationship. Getting out or staying put. It's never an easy way out. If someones makes the move, sometimes inside we are happy despite we may feel remorse toward them at the same time. Bittersweet is the sweetest of all.

If it's good news. Whoever is reading it, I will buy a drink when I see you! :)

Live in fairy tale

I like fairy tales, like Little Mermaid. Not snow white thou. I even believe in fairies. Of coz, you know I believe in other intelligent beings too.

I realize today that I am so stubborn or so living in my own universe, I so wanted to ignore the reality. Anyhow, I make up my mind I will do something now. Maybe bow to the reality. 

My fairy tale or universe never consists of White Knight saving me from the top floor of a castle. My mind, I have always been stuck in a pit suffocating since I was 18. My universe consists of happiness, real enjoyment of freedom, free thinkings, free of judgement, free to be me, you, them. I am not looking for a Utopia. I dont believe in paradise or free of troubles. On the contrary, I believe only via experiencing life & challenges make one being able to be free.

I hope this is the final training of the supreme being for me for the next 20-30 years. I am outta wit. Outta energy to fight, to stay positive, to be ah Q. I just want to be ME to believe in the goodness of things, faith in better Me-tomorrow.

MERRY XMAS!!!!

My friend Leo just wished us MERRY XMAS FOUR months in advance. I WANT TO WISH U ALL HERE - MERRY XMAS in ADVANCE too!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always love Xmas, since I came back to HK. But last few years I didnt find my Xmas very magical. Somehow this year, esp thanks to Leo's reminder, I am feeling the magic again. I like Xmas as it's supposed to be a season of FUN FUN FUN. not of the gifts or snow.

Wishing U a magical pre Xmas months!!!!!

sorry

I kinda went through last 2 week entries. MAN, I have been pissed. And agitated. Sorry for all the negativity. But well, the truth is I am waiting for a news, which makes me so agitated. Actually, was waiting for two news, one was good news. I hope the other one that makes me so agitated is good news too. I wasnt planning to talk about it, as I realize the more I talk about a positive thing or hope for the good things - they never come. It's so against the law of attraction or book of secrets. Anyhow...........I just briefly mention it here without details, due to these reasons. I am holding all the anger and expectation in......actually.

No need to encourage me. Just secretly pray for me. :) 

THANKS MY FRENS WHO HAVE BEEN READING ME HERE.......^^

Politically Correct?

I dont understand why I cant be politically incorrect?

I am a racist, so what!? But I dont go against all races. I have my share of experience with some in that race then make my decision why I dont like them in general. But I am an extreme person. I dont like that race, dont mean I cant like one particular person of that race.

Why do we have to be politically correct all the time? I am sometimes politically neutral, as I got no preference but when I choose to be politically incorrect, I dont think people should correct me when I dont correct them.

I have other things which may sound politically incorrect. Racist is just one of them. I am racist against 2 races only, but after the hostage siege last nite, it may bump upto three. I hvnt made up my mind yet.

In short, I want to say something to praise myself. haha.....above is just an intro. When I was studying in Aus, I was trying to be a good person and also a good representative of a Hongkie. I did get various compliment from various nationalities saying that becoz they ve known me they ve changed their views on Hongkies. However, I hv met many various different nationalities that not only they never try to be a good citizen, they never even try to be a nice person. So in one sentence, they deserve my despise. :)

This is just me, being so politically incorrect of being racist and a show-off person. :D

Another Horrible News of HK

I am sure you are feeling really angry & sad for the hostages that were kept at a tour bus in Manila last night. WHo knows! It's their last day of the trip. It was meant to be? It was fate?

I say it was SHIT.

Honestly, I have never been fond of philippinos. One of them even not just seduced my late grand-dad, I believe she even took his money. Anyways, men frail, fial at old age, no big biggie. Now, I will dislike them more. I know it's super childish, but this is what I have to do.

I hope the families and people who stay alive keep strong, though honestly who can? Easy to say it, isnt it? I put myself in their shoes - it's just impossible. I just hope they allow themselves time to heal.