What is FREEDOM?

I know it long time ago, freedom without boundary is boredom. U need boundary to enjoy the real freedom.

Give it some digestion.

I dunno, I always want people to see this movie "Unbearable Lightness of Being" - that's it. It means just that.

Tipsy, but not drunk

IS THE BEST FEELING!!!!

Suddenly the world becomes transparent. The clarity within is extraordinary. When I die, can someone promise me that they will publish my emails, my blogs, my stories? O also my letters. I lost my diary.......which was depressingly genius written when I was in OZ.

To be very frank, after my last ex, my sex drive became subzero. I was proud of things about myself, now no more, but recently, thanks to a french, I got vindicated. Maybe I shouldnt say it here, but the feeling was fantastic when U are no longer in your own jail. I am like a prisoner in parol - trying to fit into the normal lifestyle, it's freaking difficult for me. I dunno if pple get my meaning. It's not abt my ex - it's about my family + my ex-es. But also, no....it's the bondage I put myself into. What the heck?

Actually, I am not that intelligent. I also got envious with people who have Einstein brain. I hate it to know I dont hv the mc square equation inovated.

As I said, in our lifetime or this era, we are moving so quick, so stuffed that we are actually living more than one lifetime. It's horrific, rite? But, as I was talking to a guy who turns 50 in few months. He dissect our life into 4 stages.
1. Learnt fr others - 0-20
2. learning by yourself - 20-40
3. Making people suffer 40-60
4. Redemption 60-80

I cant say I totally agree with the stages or definition but it has a grain of truth in it.

Treasure your life, Enjoy your moment, Stay sad if you need to but give yourself a timeframe (everyone has to feel pain, dont bury it at all, feel it before you move on), keep posiitve energy, smile more often, have a pet, kiss your lovers, hug your family.....................................

ok. thanks for listening to my bs again.

Luv in a Puff

I watched this movie on a pirated dvd a month ago, arrgghghhh I thought it was OK, unlike everyone around me I didnt feel excited by it. So, I was bored at home during the weekend and kinda wanted some sweet romantic comedy to lighten up my day- not in english thou, I want something cantonese. Of coz it would be my 1st choice.

And maybe it's this song. Just maybe. They had a scene at K room singing the song, it just couldnt get outta my mind, so I rewatched the movie with director's commentary. It's kinda intriguing from what he said, yet it's so true.

1. The romance is great as it's at the guessing stage - aint we humans pathetic? We like the torture of guessing games.

2. Love usually springs from a small misunderstanding

At the love hotel scene:

the guy said: not everything has to be done within a day, it's not like we dont have time

the gal : "smile sweetly & fall asleep"

THE TRUTH - the guy of coz wanted to have sex with the gal, if not, why would he bring her to a love hotel, yah!? Yet, he actually bumped his penis to a car window so he was sore = couldnt perform. Then, the gal was already so sweet and thought this guy was so so fantastic that she couldnt help but fall in love -> misunderstanding.

But at times that's how life draws us to the beginning & conclusion.

"Dont you just hate it when reality bites"

Starting off like this......

Someone posted on Facebook - "wow, couldnt believe now 80's is considered as 3 decades ago"

Another replied ; "dont you hate it when reality bites?"

O MAN!!!!! 80's is considered 30 yrs ago now. MY GOODNESS. Anyways, the next is suddenly I get the meaning of reality bites!!!! Am I retarded?? Totally!!!! I watched this movie back in Melbourne I guess, alone, of coz. During my 20's, I never liked watching movies with anyone. I was very affected by this movie as I was Gen X, god knows the definition but I could feel it. Crossroad, Cross-over, Crossdress..............etc. It's the vibe within that affected me, until today I believe....I didnt know it until today. Trully, reality could bite (cliche!! but True).

I quickly searched PPS stream if they got the movie on and it was awesome as I found it. I am gonna run down to HMV still though or ask my fren-Dion who always almost has 2 copies of great movies, maybe I could get his non-bluray copy! After 3 decades, I still find this movie awesome, original, fantastic..............................

Next I started to think.......what these 2 characters at the end ended up (my idiotic mediocre mind wandered to such, pretending to be a great scriptwriter or director) - the guy would go and find a stable job as they realized they were pregnant within a year. The gal would work in Gap or Guess. After another 10 years, they would both have affairs and they divorced...................I think this is the true meaning of the movie....the reality.

Not Easy.....

To substain one's belief and life direction - on the path, you would face so much obstacles. I couldnt help but asked myself often if I would be willing still to endure. My answer so far is still YES, but I am indeed afraid. Indeed.

My fundamental flaw.....

I believe, if it's a fun word would be "mysterious", bad word would be "directionless" or "a bird" or "a butterfly" or whatever ie floating on the water - like water lily or floating algae.

I dont get it why I would give people that kinda impression (though I do understand abit as well). One described me as "if I would date you, I would be afraid that you may be gone suddenly" - it's said by a gal fren, actually. Then bosses usually find me......everywhere.....

Sometimes such things confuse me. I know I am not very grounded as a person, as how can I? When I know I am a caged legless bird??

I think one of my another problems is nothing threathens me much. So I dare to say basically anything........I think this is a mistake. I shouldnt do that anymore. I should shut up and when I speak, I only focuz at selling myself.

My fundamental flaw........

Dejection & Rejection

Just let me whine here little bit. Ar, no....Id better not talk about it. No, I want to talk about it. hahahaha

O well, I felt abit dejected as my effort in a company was regarded as something intangible. You know I hate this word GUTZ, as it's not first time I heard about it describing me. Ie why I changed from doing background jobs to sales jobs more nowadays. However, I am indeed good at attaining details, fixing things - I was regarded as a good fireman material. However, as many self-help books say, dont be a fireman. The thing is I am not just a fireman, I am also a constructor. I dont just extinguish the fire, I would fix up the things too.

Anyhow, ie the reality when you put your heart out there............anyways.

Something fun happened few days ago. It was fun but also left me with some confusion. As usual, I didnt plan for it, but when it happened, it kinda disrupt my routine. I didnt like it entirely, thou I would continue with the fun when I have decided my next steps shortly.