Isnt breathing supposed to be easy?!

Then, why do I feel suffocated?

Isnt time supposed to heal?

Then, why do I feel it wounds me even more?

Isnt luv supposed to be magical?

Then, why do I need logical?

Isnt book supposed to teach?

Then, why does it make me want to torn it into pieces?

Isnt life supposed to be long?

Then, why does it make me feel it should be short?

Isnt sun supposed to warm us?

Then, why do I hate the burn so much?

Isnt I supposed to be one?

Then, why do I need to be I+U me?

Isnt child supposed to be loved & protected?

Then, why do they sometimes tear our dreams?

Just bullshit, after hearing some stories from a dear friend. I feel sad for both of them. Life, it's so heavy, yet so light. I hope they will be OK. I hope they will be fine. And I hope, despite time doesnt heal the wounds, but time will help them endure the pain and ultimately numb it. :(

Take care!!

Very Melancholic

My brain is standing still, like - from soya milk turning into beancurd.

Yes, my brain is like a curd now. Curdy brain. New word for the world!

Very curdy.

Very Very Curdy.

I think....in the movie Inception, if we can indeed travel in dreams like them, induced dreams. I guess Nolan forgets one point that shud be depicted in the movie, or maybe he did. It's after this dream states, one would go into depression. For surely. No doubt. Ie how I am experiencing. I had great dream moments, once somehow the reality took me out from the "moments of dream-like", I start to begin my melancholic moments. Is this how why some need to go to mental hospital, I mean if the dreams are too vivid enough that they could not tell the difference btw, the actually reality vs the vitually dream? 

I usually quite enjoy my melancholic moments, but this time it super irritates me, as it delays , disrupts me to enter into the dreamy moments. Ummmm......

OK, have a good weekend, Seems HK is still super under super burning sun hell. Drink more water, put on sunscreen, take care of your heart & brain.

Sometimes, U just feel amazed....

Yes, maybe I am good. I mean I am good at explaining me. Or communicating me.

Or, people are good.

I have met this guy. Mr Zadgar or Zoodgar, dont even know the name, man. He knows I am reckless and bored. Bored by....etc etc. He could explain it. I think he's a psychic. Or, just simply have an unusual IQ of 220. I dont get this often, as U know, I like to talk. I fight to talk. I mean, well, I am a fantastic listener too. I attain to details of one conversation. But, it's amazing that someone could "hear" me. Coz usually I just blahbla-ing. No meaning but full of substance. 

:)

Thanks.

Songs by Karen Mok

I like Karen Mok. Heard she was getting married. hehe, I feel so happy for her.
We had connection, esp my good fren was her schoolmate. Of coz I dont know her personally.
Just like her style. Enjoy!

-Lets Fall in Love


This is super cute song, which I sometimes sing at Karaoke. Bruce Wayne would know....hehe....
It depicts the boredom of a gal in dating. How bored she feels about guyz grumbling, e.g.
1. their ex - baddening their ex-es
2. Want to take care of me
3. But freak out by my tears
4. Also told me how bored their lives had been and wanting more exciting ones (duh?! huh?! WTF?!?!?! GTE A LIFEEEEE)

Plainly, they behave like plain bread & plain water. hehe.

Plain bread & water




The Way you make me feel
- About something beginning.....wow, so happy, U also fall in luv with me,
Even smile in the dreams.


- Another my karaoke song
"He doesnt love me"

YoYo-Ology

There's YoYo diet. Meaning U have fluctuating weight issues, coz U move from one hell-like slim diet to a creating obese diet. haha. Maybe it's wrong definition. Or yoyo weight problem, U become a waif to an elephant then become a waif. But soon you realize, you either die from anorexia or just plain heart attack due to fatty clogs in your blood.

Then, it's YoYo weather. HK is fine, we usually get clear hot, cold during its specific season. But when I was in Melb or I am sure U hv been at different places - in the morning, freezing, in the afternoon U just want to stick your head in the ice, then in the evening U just want to be surrounded by many hot coals. Then, even walking in 1 min distance - under the shade, you could feel a chilling ghost following your bones, out of the shade, U could see the scorching heat burning your soul.

Then of coz, yoyo emotion. Many use roller-coaster to express this. But to me, it's very yoyo. Never ending, up & down, if you are good, U can swirl it. if U are bad, you create a bad pendulum effect. And then you have to realize one daunting factor- U r but connected by a string, only, solely. That's how fragile emotion is....a string. I think, there's a rubber string in our head controlling it.....some have more stiff nature, some are more elastic.

OK, I am experiencing yoyo. Yes, there's a very unique outside factor. Not even reading books could control me. Esp, I lost my super thick I Ching research material. I am sulking. The more prolonged I drag on, I think the heavier, thicker book wont suffice to focuz me.

But.......

I dont possess a real yoyo anymore. I think, ultimately, I have always chosen to be in yoyo motion. 

I cant deny it. And I wont act adult to say - we all should be less yoyo or we should appear as more mature. ummm......I think, I will always be a yoyo kid who is trying to learn how to master the yoyo, but could never do a good swirl. But that's the fun, when the yoyo head might hit you and you try to learn to "dodge this".....hehe....that's the fun being a yoyo child.

Found my Twin

According to my twin, I am the hysteria. haha.....ok.
Anyways, I found my twin. Weird.
But twins are not meant to stick together, we just share abit more souldust together only.

Love this music vid - by Muse - Hysteria.




It's bugging me
Grating me
And twisting me around
Yeah, I'm endlessly
Caving in
And turning inside out

'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control

It's holding me, morphing me
And forcing me to strive
To be endlessly cold within
And dreaming I'm alive

'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
I'm not breaking down
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control

And I want you now
I want you now
I feel my heart implode
And I'm breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith erode

Sleeping Together

Do you like sleeping in the same bed with someone? I basically hate it....at least 99%. So I did study or I should say ponder on this for years. As I just liked to sleep with 2 of my ex-es, I meant.....slept the whole nite. Somehow, despite they are not exactly muscular types, it's so easy to tuck into theirs - arms, body shape, etc. It's kinda nice, I gotta say.

I think it's a pheromones thing  and a smell thing - in this aspect maybe I am like a puppy. haha......I am not exactly talking about body odor. I just remember I like the "smell" or "aura" of them while sharing the same bed with them. I need space, I am a person who needs space. If i cant fall in luv with the "smell", I couldnt sleep - then I would sleep on sofa, hence this is also a sign for me if I really like the guy or not.

Do I miss someone sharing bed with me? Honestly? Not really. But when I find that person, yes I do miss and sleeping suddenly becomes like a joy instead of a duty. :D