Begging

Ai......it seems I have to beg shadow to eat her food. I hope she just wants attention, then I am less worried. I have to say plzzzzz, one more bite plzzzz....she would turn her face away from it, then I kept saying plzzzzz, and gave her a kiss and she would touch the food. pewh. I hate the force-feeding procedure, so messy.......

The whole morning, I have been feeding her med, food....observing her if she has fever or vomitting, then need to somehow get her eyes rolling. It's good that she follows me around with her eyes, so at least she's not as "dead meat" as yesterday. She drinks water on her own and she did go to poo alittle, it's a good sign. Then another hr later, I would attempt the 2nd feeding.....today each meal I am going to split into 3 portions.To be frank, the split meals she has been hving = the no of meals I havent been eating.....

Then, I have to take care of Lottie's feeling as well. Hug her, Stroke her, let her sit on my lap. But as nottie as she is, she's well behaved so far....except stole one pill and tried to gulp the food I was feeding shadow. Apart from that, she hasnt tried to fight for attention, it's like she understands that her big sis is ill.

Above all, I have to spend time talking to each of them. E.g. Shadow, you have to get well, plz spend another 5 years with me, if you eat now, maybe you can spend 8 more years with me. OK? Sorry lorh, I didnt hug you as much becoz of Lottie, I wont do that anymore, I will hug you everyday more & more. Then to Lottie, OK, you have been a good gal, mom luv u, just dont bother shadow so much, OK? I luv U 2 equal, okok?

haha, not easy, huh!!??

But I am hopeful. :)