Just Some Thoughts About Companion

Just 5 mins ago, I kinda review abit of past month. Things happened. I had sweet dreams & nightmares at the same time in a whole month simultaneously. I appreciate 2 friends comments, which are somewhat very different yet useful at the same time for my state. haha, honestly, now whatever I feel or think is already beyond confusion. I either hope for the mutated universe or just plain god intervention.

C said - just deal with the issues and focuz at the stuff. Dont think what it means.

It's a very wise comment. It's something, yes, I should do!

J said - U cant control how U feel or what U think....just let your mind flow.

It's very true at this moment, esp, when I kinda quiet down, letting my dogs sleep peacefully while watching them. I couldnt help it but drift my thoughts to whoever & whatever.

So, I feel, I have been writing alotta bullshits about relationship, about all the shits, how I dont want a r/p,. bla bla blah. Now, I have a new finding. I cant deny I want a companion. I was always delighted to have my dogs, my frenz like Bruce Wayne, C, J....etc, maybe my msn buddies like Mr Funny or some networking frenz.....they can fulfil most parts of my needs. However, having a companion maybe it's different. Someone who no matter what - despite I am a screwup - will find his ways & means to accept. embrace, adore, and of coz LUV me. And of coz in turn I want to do likewise.

I used to have 3 requirement for a man, I couldnt remember what no.3 was. I just remember today.

1. Luv me

2. Understand me

3. Communicate with me

It's so basic, huh!?!?!? Yet, it's more difficult than it sounds. I feel I found it, but somewhat I lost it......nobody's fault, guess it's life. The reality of life. It's very saddening for me, and I couldnt forsee if I could ever get over it, as after so many years, I found someone that I feel match my criteria. I never care about look, wealth, etc.............

Today I want to add one more to the list as this person has given me that, despite it's short time....

4. Laughter

I hope everyone who reads here finds that companion. Maybe you already have, cherish it, as it's so hard in this world to find that person - indeed a yellow needle in haystack. :)

And I hope I would stop my tears, maybe it's a blessing in disguise, as it was so difficult for me to cry last 2 years, while I luv crying - it's so soothing. hahahaa.......I feel my crying hasnt stopped is coz I still feel I lost something so precious to me. It's very 1st time I cried for something I lost. It worths remembering. It worths imprinting inside.

Ummm, now I feel better and becoz of shadow, I have found a new meaning to strive on. Ar, no no, I gotta be fair, it's for shadow & lottie. ^^

Thanks whoever reads here. I luv U all. :D