WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WAHAHAHAHAHA!
WAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I cant help but keep LAUGHING!!!
WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

YIU, again????

On Facebook, I saw the below - which kinda translates:
Everyone's phonebook has a number that you would never call and as well would never delete. Everyone has someone in his/her heart that you would never forget.


"每個人的電話簿，都會有一個你永遠不會打，也永遠不會刪的號碼；每個人的心裡，都會有一個你永遠不會提，也永遠不會忘的人..."

My god, sorry, maybe I shudnt hv read that but I dont get it why pple always say such things. For me, I dont hv someone like that in my life. Is it coz I am abnormal or just coz I am cold-blooded? The only number I wud keep N wudnt want to call EVER is 999. :)

This kinda messages are there to instill over-indulgence in depression!

This CNY

I find this CNY in HK very odd. 

Maybe coz there's no good or bad news. Everyone on the streets seems pretty calm N cool. Except, in CWB, basically you see 70% are from Mainland china. I go in stores, sales are not even pushing for sale. 

Everyone neither smiles nor frowns. It's weird.

Maybe somehow I live in my own world, this is how I feel hence project to the outside world. Yet, I dun seem to hear my frenz telling me their plans during this time. Or maybe I am not following the news close enough. Or maybe everyone, almost everyone has a job but the % raise is so-so, yet they think at least it's not reducing.

I go around, people are shopping but their faces are kind of emotionless & blank. I know crazy shoppers' look, but I didnt see them today..........

Also, I really didnt hear pple laughing, except when I told my fren many jokes, which as usual she laughed........and those jokes that happened to me are always quite hilarious......but me & her laughs were the only laughing I heard the whole day.

It's just weird.

A Yummi Guy told me.....

that I should keep my eyes open as the One may be out there.

"Pondering"

I always thought only galz talk about the one. I didnt know a guy would. kakakaka

Actually, I dun think I ever talked about the one. Man, nowadays men are sweeter than me!

Actually, when I was in teen, I knew I was always weird & outerspacey , or simply a ET gal, hence I always thought THE ONE would be from another space or maybe somewhere..........out there........far far away..........and I believed I would meet him. Then, one r/p after another, or one fling after another..............my vision of the one has dissolved to a mustard seed. I never really think about it anymore as I dun even know what's the definition. I need definition for many things so I am quite a curious person as I constantly look for "definition", guess it ties in with my major background.

To be honest, I gave up the idea of finding the one, as I doubt any men could stand me or accept my craziness. Anyways, but since it's spoken by a Yummi Guy, I would listen. Maybe I just need to open my eyes a little, understand myself a little...............guess he means it's hopeful somewhere somehow. :) Thanks sweetie.

While, people sometimes talk about soulmates. Actually, I dun un the term. To me, I dont believe in one soulmate. I think usually some horny guyz would say, I want to become your soulmate. HUH!!!?? How to be come someone's soulmate when supposedly I guess soulmate is just is. They are so idiotic.

Let me try to explain my definition that I just thought of about soulmate. See whether it makes sense.

I believe soulmate = your soul's mateS (HAHAHHA), hence it should be similar, it should be familiar, it should be harmonious, it should be recognizable, it should be likeable, it should be enjoyable, it should be......some parts of U like a mirror. Hence, I dont believe there would be one soulmate on this earth for me, but I believe in collective soulmates for me. My frenz who may be reading this could very well be part of me. And I jump to think - it may have something to do with energy, aura or chemistry. Ummm.................

OK, nough said. Abit tired from talking, writing & thinking.............

Have a great weekend. luv Luv LUV.

Purple Hoodie

It seems this week I am so stimulated, I couldnt shut my mouth. So I keep talking. I luv the stimulation. It's excruciating AWESOME!!

OK, purple hoodie.

I sometimes will just go out with purple hoodie if I dont bother to wear makeup or something. And strangers would ask me if I am still a student?! Wow, a hoodie does the trick, no wonder I luv hoodiessssss.

Today, I just really relaxed myself. Did a facial which I had a course for at least over a year but went there less than 3 times. The last time I went was in Aug.........Man, I am super lazy.

Then rarely I wud take the mini-bus from there back to CWB, but this time I thought I would just try. At the stop, I asked the lady if it was the right place to take the green minibus. She smilingly told me yes. OK, when we reached CWB, somehow we went to the same small restaurant called Hokkaido Milk Restaurant at Sun Wui Road, we sat on the same table, not plan to..anyways. So she started talking to me. We talked about from my business (she might refer me to someone), to how to raise kids, to HK generation issues within the span of one set of meal............There, she told me she studied MBA 30 yrs ago, but she decided to be a mother, rather than a career woman.

I am amazed & thankful to have a chat with her. It's so sweet to spend time with a stranger talking about life.

I am so BLESSED. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!

vulnerable

This morning, I woke up. Hadnt done that long time, lying in bed pondering.

Well, one of my 2011 goals is not lying in bed so much, which I actually managed it quite well. The whole Jan, I didnt, except when I was sick.

I have this feeling of vulnerability. Actually, I am quite vulnerable (not in a bad way) - it's like I dont think anyone or anything can hurt me. But today, I feel I might get burnt one day. I dunno.....I believe in subconsience. I get that quite alot. So what I need to do now is to mentally prepare when it happens. And I will continue to do what I feel good to do N not afraid of the potential danger.

Yet, another side of vulnerability is bad. I feel inconfident. I am fearful of Feb, Mar....I am not sure how I am going thru these 2 months. I am scared of many proposals I am supposed to do, but no where to start.......this insecurity is going to grip in me for a while, I believe. Hopefully, I can hear more good news after the CNY.

It's a constant battle......but anyhow, maybe its end of Jan, Jan has been fantastic. I couldnt thank enough for all the good things, good people that have surfaced in my life.

Stay Cheerio, Hong Kong Babies.

I do give a shit!

I met a guy at a business group tonite. He kept saying "I DUN GIVE A SHIT". Actually, honestly, if for certain frame of topics, you say I DUN GIVE A SHIT once- it sounds cool, it sounds tough, it sounds U got a point. But when you hit the 3rd time about the same scenario, it means U do GIVE a FUCKING shit. I had a moment of hidden "eye rolling" - I wanted to say to him, SHUT your FUCKING mouth, man!!!!


U know, to be frank, I actually give it a shit about many things. I give a shit about my frenz, as they are my dearest assets. I give a shit about my dogs as they are important to me. I give a shit about my work as they make me have a better life. I give a shit about my family as they are my blood. I give a shit about myself as no one wud actually care to give a shit anyways.

It's different from I dont care what other people say. Dont give it a shit is a giving up status to me. I think he shud go & kill himself, as indeed if he doesnt give a fucking shit. As shits accumulated will end up death from over-toxicated!

I luv giving shits, simple. hehe. :)

Something Happy!

I just got a call from this SH company and they may want me to help them with something simple in HK. We talked about working together on a project some 18 mths back, and now it's my 1st step to take on a new project with them. Not something big, actually it's something so simple that I am super overqualified, but then its good sign as it may lead to others.

And hey these pple r starting to call me back, hehe, happy day!

My secret rainbow

My aunt posted this on Facebook and it reminded me I luv this song, so I am gonna post here to share with you! I like the english version mentioning something "my secret rainbow" - actually I had my secret moon & rainbow as well when I was in 20's. Esp walking back home from the library in the dark in Melb - I always talked to my secret moon. hehe.

Hope U like this song as well. Madarin version is my fav. Lyrics....super. If you cant read chinese, one day I will explain it to you, if you want. :)

歌名：歲月輕狂
歌手：李治廷

作曲：盧冠廷
填詞：羅啟銳
編曲／監製：Henry Lai

水一般的少年 風一般的歌
夢一般的遐想 從前的你和我

手一揮就再見 咀一翹就笑
腳一動就踏前 從前的少年

呀 漫天的回響 放眼看 歲月輕狂
呀 歲月輕狂

起風的日子流洒奔放 細雨飄飄心晴朗
雲上去 雲上看 雲上走一趟
青春的黑夜挑燈流浪 青春的愛情不回望
不回想 不回答 不回憶 不回眸 反正也不回頭

呀 漫天的回響 放眼看 歲月輕狂
呀 歲月輕狂

起風的日子流洒奔放 細雨飄飄心晴朗
雲上去 雲上看 雲上走一趟
青春的黑夜挑燈流浪 青春的愛情不回望
不回想 不回答 不回憶 不回眸 回不了頭...

ReConnect

Ar, U guyz maybe reading about yourselves by now, as yes I am writing about you!!

I am quite happy these few days as I manage to "recollect " with few friends that we have known for years out of some funny circumstances. Yet, we dont feel like strangers, and actually our topics are pretty open and smooth. You know how hard it is to reconnect with pple you once connected with then drifted apart......I suppose it's good that they are not married.

I find married frenz will be abit hard to reconnect if somehow we got drifted apart as they would be indeed living in a different warzone than us. I so enjoy the chatting or emailing to bullshits stuff that most likely we wouldnt remember the next day, yet the feeling was so good. Umm, stay close, dont drift apart no more. Be there for me & with me when I want to drink, write &....do some fun. hehe

Nite Nite, sleepy now!

remedy for an obsession

Lately, I am obsessed with something.....
I started thinking, what would be the killer switch to an obsession.
Simple, another obsession.
But when an obsession cannot be replaced, then?
U become an addict.

I have this killer switch inside that I could kill a feeling if I want to.
It used to take me few months.
Now, maybe days to weeks, depending on the intensity.
I am not sure if it's good but the training has been intense, and I am doing it quite well.
Esp, I know I would turn addict on this obsession.

But then, I already find two substitute obsession to replace that one obsession.
hehe, I should be fine!

Ummm, of coz I am not talking about drugs, Apart from pot, alcohol, I dun take others....not yet try anyways. Esp I am usually natural high.

6 namecards

If each namecard represents 1Mil, I still couldnt buy a decent flat in TaiKooShing. I meant the rooftop.....or could I? OK, this is my target, each namecard will give me 1Mil. I am going to have 2 more new namecards. I wonder if any card holder could allow me that amount, esp the no is going to keep growing in times to come.

People collect stamps or credit cards, I collect namecards. :D

Ex in my dream

I was very bothered by that. Actually he showed up in my dreams very very often and everytime I got up I was very angry, more angry than b4. 

When he was in my dreams, he would never be the main character. He would be passenger A,B or C. And everytime he walked abit near me, I would show my contempt & try to walk away. Yet, I do not want a bad person to show up in my dreams that often. I am glad I dun hv a killer instinct, if not, I would find some ways to stap him & melt him with hydrochloric acid, then with Sodium hydroxide - kinda make it neutral to a point of nothingness. haha.

So one day I went to this new fren I met, she owns a bar. We started talking about many things, then dropped the topic on our ex. She had a horrible ex, incld her ex'wife N son. They collaborated to lie together to her. It's horrible - if it's me, I wouldnt know if I wud ever recover from it. We are pretty baffled by the fact that they would be around us, like stuck in our conscience. We actually have become very angry with ourselves.

We came up a solution, we should forgive them.

OK, so I got home, thought about it for 2 days. I couldnt find a way to forgive him. It's impossible for me to go to him and said, hey asshole, I forgave u. Nah..............so I got a lightning strike while I was picking up my dog's poopoo. hehe. No, I should forgive myself. Not forgiving him. I am angry not becoz of him, but becoz of the fact that I was so stupid. I hated my idotic compassion & stupid kindness towards someone didnt deserve it.

And these 2 weeks, I could tell you I feel more relieved, as I didnt blame on my past foolish acts no more. I am looking ahead, like the past is just simply past. The feeling is good, maybe you should try it sometimes.

dreams

Do you guyz have a group of frenz who would share dreams? The real dreams. The sleeping dreams? I do.

Actually it may have started off with 2 pple only - guess me & L will share dreams like dirty dreams, or sci-fi dreams. And I gotta say L's dreams are always so vivid so crafted so plot-detailed, and always with a twist. Mine is always scattered, but then somehow I always find the ideas within my dreams are pretty awesome. Actually, until now, I realize only 2 of us would share but the others would read. 

I think we all pass 20's and to substain friendship isnt as easy or as hard as before. In 20's, you can break up with your frenz so easily, maybe just one drunken nite or topic. Now, it takes some more maybe money, biz to break up frenz. Yet, it wouldnt be as easy to make frenz either now, you cudnt afford to talk for 5 hrs non-stop when U gotta work tomorrow. I guess I am somehow still living in my 20's - I talk still with pple for hours, the reasons I dun get much opportunity to talk till dawn is simple - people have nothing to say, no topics, no individual mindsets.

I hope we can all share our dreams, be it a weird, kinky, dirty ones or very sci-fi end of the world kind. I will share my dreams here, as usual - but lately I am so tired all the time I got no dreams. O, no, actually I got some, I will share in next post.

Copyrights!

I am waiting for the design for my new namecard N logo. I will have a young german designer to do it for me, and its free.................as it's my recent luvly german fren's daughter. I cant wait. I luv my new name, which was actually created by my best friend, Leo. So if you read it, dont ever copy it, as it's so super cool

WE ARE FREERAISIN FILOSOFY. lol

Thanks everyone, I need to go to bed. I have been non stop drinking for days................but I wasnt drunk at all. I hate that. When I drink I still cant sleep. It's so not a good sign. Yet,. I have been so happy with all the blessings I recieve so far.

LUV. HAVE A GOOD WEEK, for those WHO READ ME.

One more special blessing in 2011

I met a group of new frenz yesterday. U know, I am not bragging but yes I am pretty proud of it. 

Many times, my frenz introduce me to their frens, of coz as eloquent as I am, I always charm most people who are genuine & open-minded. Their frenz will usually end up telling me, they really like me. And I think it's good for my fren so that he/she will have confidence to continue to introduce me to more. And I guess, to me somewhat apart from me having a fabulous personality & intelligent mind & vast range of topics (which I am never good at the details, but I am quite good at expanding from one point from my own views - pracrice from University), I listen intently from what they have to say.

Like last nite, I really wanted to go to bed early. But due to my good fren's bday so I went to the studio to surprise her. Believe me once I sat down, I sat down. I left there at 8:30am. I was talking to my fren's frenz for straight 10 hrs, within which 6 was between a guy (my fren's fren's bf) and me. We talked from childhood, to their r/p, to the end of time, to raising pets, to parents, to marriage, to drugs............. My fren's fren was worried that I was so bored. I said No way, how hard it was for me to meet someone who had such a clarity of mind of what he went through & was so sensitive to the world & people around him. By date, I gotta say I would be the only person that I know who was so intense in such awareness (not that others dont have but then i repeatedly reflect, act, re-examine, observe, feel, pain, then find solution then verbalize it) so I am so happy to meet my twin. I luv pple hving their own weird way of thinking which stimulates my mind that I want excel. Around us, we are indeed lacking so much of these stimulations at times.

Actually his gf has very complex personality too and she's so genuine & frank that I so adore. I told them I felt their r/p (not to many pple eyes) would be my fairy tale. Somehow, oddly, their r/p makes me want to have one of those one day - I never really hv much of this feeling past 10 yrs. So it's so good for me.

Again I am blessed. Just within 1st month of 2011 - I got what I never wish I would have. Universe, pls keep it coming. Thank you so much!!!!!!!

Co-incidence, coincident not?

This is how the story goes.

I got the nicest compliment about my brain tonite for 2011. Things are looking up, within less than 3 weeks, I got things I never got for past 6 years!! My goodness.

OK! I went to a nice bday dinner at Hunghom, actually just rite at my french date's place. Well, I didnt really bother to text him to say, hey I am here dude. After the dinner, I went to meet another guy who had been asking me out for a drink for 6 months. I thought, I was abit dull and January is my only crazy drink month as the rest of the year I wud prefer to stay focuz. So I went back to Central to meet up with him, thought maybe just had 2 drinks then I would be gone. Oh goodness, at that bar which I rarely went - I SAW THE FRENCH DATE TOO. LOL. So funny but I didnt feel embarassed..............anyways................wont want to say more. hehe

Then, just 30 mins ago, I got an urgent msg from a fren. She wanted me to call someone who wanted to commit suicide. This guy has his shares of problems, big ones too. I would say mine was 50% 2 yrs back. Anyhow..........it's weird after 2 years I gotta encourage someone not to kill himself. I am still at the bleak of curing myself from the tendency. Anyways, guess the universe is telling me - I am doing great. See, U got the tough strength now.

Again, I am so happy. I feel very content as of this moment. Life is gonna be great. It's gonna be tough but it's gonna be fabulous.

i RETARDED

OK, I started 3 posts here within an hour but none could get finished. I got an idea but after 2 lines I didnt know what I actually wanted to say, haha. Me so retarded, huh!!?? So what I am gonna do is just doodle everything here.

1. Acknowledging it

Was talking to a good fren about confidence. I felt somehow I needed to work hard to attain it. I wasnt born with it, with my family background & their sarcasm of coz wouldnt give any maxium edifying results to it. Then, after living on earth for a while, we got bumped by work or frenz or lovers, arrr, that would be the killing dose sometimes. I am fortunate that I am kinda like ah Q person - I usually forgot about it, however, subconsciously it did wound me. I think the best way to solve it is to aknowledge it, not being shunk from it, then next steps.

I dunno about next steps also, basically each person uses different ways. For me, I do need some compliments or encouragement to pick myself up again. It's like some ignitor. I know a self-independant woman shouldnt ask for that - Hey, exactly my point! Why not? I acknowledge it my pb and now I ackowledge my method for making me feel good.

2. Being Available

We are all an island, alone, as a being. Me, a loner. However, I do need some attentions once in a while. Not attention from guyz....nonoononn........but I do appreciate deeply people who would make themselves available to me. Like my gd fren C, she's always on gchat, we whatsapp each other often, we have made ourselves available to the other person. Or, I call my TWN fren asking when he would be in HK. He's a busy man, very busy man. I cherish that despite he knows it's me, he picks up the phone.

Actually its important that we do get ourselves surrounded by pple like that, then we know we are not that lonely. The fact is alone & lonely has big different. I dont get lonely feeling alot, as I have people who will spare their moments to read here or to msg me once a while or call me here n there. I feel loved & fulfilled actually.

3. I forgot what I wanted to write. haha.....doesnt matter la. Now as of this moment I feel very hungry. I just had some plain yogurt with pomegranate+banana. It makes me feel I am onto some healthy spree. But my coffee dosage is on the rise daily as I really prefer the bitter taste of things nowadays..............

Sorry, I actually feel this is a very boring entry. But ie how I feel now. BORED.

Jan 2011

I got some sorta fun experiences within these 3 weeks. It's good that so much has already happened within 3 weeks, I guess my 2011 should be fantastic. I am proud to say that the first month of the year doesnt pass by without some results.......I am getting so excited, my frenz!!!!!

To Drop Dead

Today, this thought came to my mind again. I dare not even quiet down to think or to feel what I am feeling. It's crazy. Crazy.

I dont like to drink alcohol actually, but I feel I am drinking more than ever without feeling a thing. I even smoked weeds, NO FEELING. NO FEELING AT ALL. I dont feel a thing.

After I feel abit tipsy from alcohol, I could only SLEEP 3-4 hrs, then I would wake up - couldnt go back to bed. It's horrible.......I dont incline to become alcoholic but isnt it easy to be one when you are at such stage?