Ex in my dream

I was very bothered by that. Actually he showed up in my dreams very very often and everytime I got up I was very angry, more angry than b4. 

When he was in my dreams, he would never be the main character. He would be passenger A,B or C. And everytime he walked abit near me, I would show my contempt & try to walk away. Yet, I do not want a bad person to show up in my dreams that often. I am glad I dun hv a killer instinct, if not, I would find some ways to stap him & melt him with hydrochloric acid, then with Sodium hydroxide - kinda make it neutral to a point of nothingness. haha.

So one day I went to this new fren I met, she owns a bar. We started talking about many things, then dropped the topic on our ex. She had a horrible ex, incld her ex'wife N son. They collaborated to lie together to her. It's horrible - if it's me, I wouldnt know if I wud ever recover from it. We are pretty baffled by the fact that they would be around us, like stuck in our conscience. We actually have become very angry with ourselves.

We came up a solution, we should forgive them.

OK, so I got home, thought about it for 2 days. I couldnt find a way to forgive him. It's impossible for me to go to him and said, hey asshole, I forgave u. Nah..............so I got a lightning strike while I was picking up my dog's poopoo. hehe. No, I should forgive myself. Not forgiving him. I am angry not becoz of him, but becoz of the fact that I was so stupid. I hated my idotic compassion & stupid kindness towards someone didnt deserve it.

And these 2 weeks, I could tell you I feel more relieved, as I didnt blame on my past foolish acts no more. I am looking ahead, like the past is just simply past. The feeling is good, maybe you should try it sometimes.