Easter

It's been a while I wrote something happy, but continuously I am abit moody. I just slept my holidays away, work is last thing on my mind and did abit of reflection. And then found my pic at young age and looked into her eyes.....it's kinda weird. I think she was very moody soul as well. And also, I wasnt as ugly as my adult family once said about me....I was lived under the terminology that I aint pretty and I was very stupid comment since....too young. 

Anyways.....then U grow up. U meet guys. They all think I am quite pretty and exceptionally smart, yet then they would replace with various comments.....they kinda haunted me till now. However, as I evaluate myself....I aint like that what they say.....I mean I am alil.....but not in their exaggerating context. For one, he said I used his money. Basically, until now from my re-collection....he used mine more than I used his. Many a time, I gave more than I received, unless he's much richer than me. Thou, I couldnt or I dont bother to defend any longer....if ie his or their impression, let them die with that. I always always believe......when one dies, they would have a moment to count back their regrets. I might not be their regrets but surely my face would come up......hehe, coz I am a nice gal with good heart. If being mis-interpreted, it's beyond my ability or intention to justify.

Then, I think......why people like to trash each other.? Incl me, ok...I trash too much. Dont we un it's a karma circle....at the end of the day, the more we see the "bad things" about the person, the more "we own their bad things"?! Then, lately I concluded that my jealousy gene is actually quite minimal as I tend to believe in greatness in people....always want the best out of them. I am not a great person.....but this is deep inside me wanting to see pple lashing out their best.....it's in me, nothing pretensious.....nothing fake......I guess I felt I had always been under-rated for too long.

Anyhow.....maybe, a lifting up message here.....enjoy urself, believe in yourself, and try to see through a person mask and extract the best out of them. It's very hard if he/she is your another half or gf, bf, bff, etc etc..........yet, if U cud see, U wud find something to fall back in luv with them, maybe; or.....maybe u see a better world out there through them, through their eyes.