My ex- husband got married! It's a very weird feeling! On one hand, I always asked him to get married again soon last few yrs when we still kept in touch chatting every few mths! I was hoping he cud b happier, he cud b more excelled in his career! ESP I think his then gf was nice enough to accept out then situation! She must luv him alot!
He's the greatest man I have ever met in my life! He's great to me even I was and yes I have been an asshole always! He's the only one who was patient with me, tolerate with me, being there for me, saw me as who I was, never criticized me even I failed so many things in so many ways!! I think since after him, I have been tortured by karma! I was too young n wasn't willing to appreciate him n appreciate comradeship! Aso my damnest thing was I told him I didn't luv him bloody honestly!
I guess if u wud hv met him now! I wud never let him go but how cud we keep cuda shuda wuda!?
On the other hand yes I do admit I feel upset! Not coz he's married but somewhere in my head I still thought he was mine! Yes v silly but I don't deny my silliness! How cud one give up sb like that!? So yes I m slightly un rightfully upset!
Mayb I wud feel better if I aso hv a man with me, next to me hugging me when I saw their wedding picture on Facebook! But I was alone! While already experiencing a v depressive week!! News w bad news, news with no news! I then look from afar for my current situation! Why wud I dream on!? Believing in things I shudnt believe in! At least for now, let me hv no hope!!
I guess sb once said I might hv some psychic ability n I think this is it!!! Haha I was depressed whole week for aso reasons can't justify my depressive mood! I guess on some level I knew he wud get married but I just wasn't aware or informed! Anyhow....
I will let myself cry n depressed these 2 days for the "best" of sthg that I lost! Yet still sincerely I wish for very best of their life together! I did send him a MSG to congratulate him!
Anyways, just some sharing only!
Proud of you~
ReplyDeleteAnd it takes so much courage to be honest about your own feelings..
Yup, we'll always be stuck in the past if we kept on asking those what-if questions.
Tomorrow is another new day...
Thanks! Bruce!!
ReplyDeleteIt's b tough ESP today I guess!!
Though I deserve it, haha