It couldnt be

Maybe I was born to be a hopeless romantic. Well, I control my romantic genes most of my adulthood, as I know I could go crazy, for even things I dun like. Esp, I believe I would never meet something I really luv. It's fine. 

And so, when young, sometimes I read luv stories...stole my mom's luv story books, usually from taiwan, honestly they are freaking cliche. The gal is always always fair, with deep soulful eyes. Chinese dont really have deep eyes much....and the man is always very gentle or wild with rich background. So - after few books, I just knew these are shitty idiots writing for some other idiotic dreamers!! So I can tell u.....in my life I rarely read any luv stories. OK, I visited Twilight Saga - as I like vampire stories, ok, they r horrible books, and I basically skipped many pages - as I just like to read Edward parts, I hate that Bella part, so....in cantonese I would say "So mah lun fen", in english would be "fucking retard".

But this year, all my genes have flooded to the surface. As I said, someone very special gave me the Norwegian Wood, and so I started reading, still do....upto chapter ten. I have to say the author's choice of words, and description is pretty good, and it's a very basic luv story with slightly unusual characters. I hvnt finished it, so I cant rate. But one thing, now I understand why he gave me this book, as I could see me & him everywhere in the book, the conversation, our responses.....haha....pretty awesome.

I always fantasize something so out of the world thing, but when U clash with it. Then U would start to fathom if I am living in the real world or in matrix system. Anyhow, even recognizing it has made me feel very sad & lonely. It does to him too. Maybe I shouldnt mention here, but....I also dont really want to talk to anyone. So I feel by polluting minds via internet is the safest place for me, so I dont need to "feel" or try to be very rational when I talk about it. Yes, every time when I re-count something traumatising with people, I always sound quite logical that people wouldnt think I was in pain or on the verge of nervous breakdown. This is how I cope.....

So thanks for dropping by and reading. Pls dont ask me for details, for those who know me. I would tell u one day in a separate email, as my practice.

P.s, this week, really not in the mood of writing, I came back to edit many grammer or thought errors, which I usually rarely edit, as even I am not perfect, so freaking what!?!?! huh!!? but.....this one, too much errors even in the structure itself. Like a mad man gibbering on . I apologize!