Having kids

Well, now it's indeed sunrising, I cudnt sleep, becoz my brain keeps working on my business ideas, proposals, how should I tell them they shud indeed give me all the territories, and why. Then, how I can incorporate my network of frenz & people who are already in this field. I just feel a nice burden - if I can make this work, then everything else will follow this pattern, and one of my long term dreams will fulfill. But all I am talking is just one small step, but well, I have been lazy in my head & body for too long. I deserve no sleep.

Well, as I was thinking about my stuff, then I was also thinking about my fren's blog entry. Yes women's multitasking ability is based on they could utilize their brain in different dimension. :P (actually i tried to tire myself out by playing with & taking pics of my dogs)...anyhow.

She was writing a letter to her future kid. I find this to be very sweet. And as we were advocating the needs for adoption, and I vowed to myself that I would choose the option of adopting kids and raising them like my own. Then I looked at my dogs and I wonder if I could do it. I mean, I could, becoz I wanted to hug all the kids in the world, luv them, protect them, enlighten them. But.....I am not sure if I could accept another little being talking back to me. haha. I was imagining having another Lottie (my dog). I am sure I could luv the real human kids more (be it adopted or my own), yet, I realize I am not very motherly.

I think I am too free spirited. I allow too much freedom. I am not sure if this method is right for HK at all. Looking at my dogs, I have been giving them too much freedom, basically they are behaving like humans in many ways. Whilst, as I look at my fren's, my sis pets - they do exert some form of discipline to them. Mine, they give me hands, I already find to be well-done. My fren's cute poodle could say sorry and turn when U ask him to. And she has been diligently taking care of him and training him to behave in all possible ways.....but I am not like that. I many a times just let them be.....I mean I trained them, but I got no patience to train them to be better than now. Ummm. So I feel I am a really selfish person. I dont think I could really have a kid of my own.

Of coz I looked at my Uni fren's kids. Gosh, they r so big now. And I could see the luv she gave them, despite she herself has given up so much. And lets also talk about my most devoted reader here, my roommate - she basically as well has GIVEN herself to her 4 kids & her husband. I admire them so much, as this kind of effort wont be rewarded immediately. Sometimes during the hurricane adolescence stage - the kids may disrespect you or misunderstand you, then your husband or family may think U r not doing good enough. Then U yourself may start to have self-doubt too. So, I have to say working mother is more balanced. My frenz - they suffer more than working mothers. Working mothers are still very much in touch with the world, and they gain reward by being paid, and they got people like maids or mom to take care of the kids. I also strongly believe the kids being raised by the non working mothers will have more healthy life in the future (relative terms).

So what I really want to say is that - if U have kids, I want to be their godmom. More the merrier. But I really think I cant be one. I am too introverted & extroverted thinking at the same time, no discipline (look at my dogs), and most importantly I am OLD. hehehehehe...............so u guyz toil, while I will be their great honey godmom. Yeah!

Bless to all moms who luv their kids or pets unconditionally.

xoxo