Have been living in colloid hydrogel

Way too long....what the heck is that!? It's actually more scientific term for quicksand. :)

I realize today I have been running inside of the quicksand, no wonder I am so tired - but u watch discovery channel, U know it, once U r being put there, the chance of getting is tough by urself. OK, so that has been my state for long long time.....did I choose? No, I wud say No, I was forced to or simply put there by the almighty hand. Yet,

I think, I am always addicted to challenges or metamorphosis....wud it be a way god is trying to break me and mould me again!? But this time, frankly, this little joke is abit too much for a poor single lonely gal to handle. All sides....absolutely crushed. But then....

A note to think - I am not dead yet, so...does it mean I have a chance, surely I do, I know it, as I could feel, finally I got a hang of how to get outta this quicksand and now I am abit scared to get outta it. U know....abit like the stockholm syndrome....hehehe.....

And then was talking to a fren I havnt talked w for more than 4-5 yrs. What I was trying to explain to her, the first 2 yrs were training mind, and this year is training heart. And they all suck....haha...no, I know in few yrs time, when I look back, I would appreciate every moment of my life these 3 years but at this moment - I cant. 

OK, well, always say better tomorrow....may we hv that too. Together, as buddies. :))