Another Level of EQ

Working in a job, you need EQ.

Having a business, you need another level of EQ.

A job, you got stable income. There's no gambling in it that pisses you off or disappoints you. You got a monthly stable income, downside is you may need to watch out the faces of your boss.

A business doesnt guarentee a stable income. It's a game of gambling - you may make alot or you lose it all. Actually losing it all is better than piling up the debts. You need to get prepared the hightened EQ to handle your clients, your clients' staff, your suppliers, your partner, maybe your staff as well.......even they are cunny & nasty, you need to learn to stay silent at the right time & slash out at the right time, too. Learn to smile, but devise a plan to revenge or take back what they have taken you - during this time you need to make nice to avoid your plan flop. Even there's no revenge involved, you gotta think if they are going to trash your next move, afterall you once trusted them. The EQ to handle every aspect is overwhelming alone, but that's what I am facing now.

Yet, I so realize my EQ has come to a stage that I couldnt imagine I could possess. I mean, I wasnt born a positive, emotionless person!

And I am not losing hope on partnership too. Just that, I gotta be careful with who I partner with in the future.

Names

After some fucking living on this planet earth for 38 years, I have some categories of names that you should sway yourself from. From own personal expericence & research.

ERIC:

I met 2 Erics that I got close relationship with. One is my ex. One is my business partner. I tell you, they are totally fucker, lazy but want to gain money w/o doing much work. Seriously, my frens, with such name, stay away plz.

Fiona:

I cant remember what happened between us. I got one Fiona only, but it had something to do with trust & money too. And when I was telling my fren about it, she shared very similar experience. So beware too.

Dawn:

Always neurotic with a hint of stupid faith in stuff. Yes me, I just know me as Dawn. Dont stay away, but hit me on the head all the time when I get too idiotic, plz.

My new view on Adam & EVE

IT"S BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!

OK, one of my guy frens....he knows who the heck he is (kekekeke), as I told him I was gonna write here. He said something nasty....but we made up so wont mention it ever again. U'd better NOT!!! But one thing he kept saying was that I gotta find a nice guy.,,,nice guy,,,,,nice guy,..........................to COMPLETE me!!!!! I told him, honestly without hard-feeling of my past, I seriously enjoyed my single life too much. I am sucker for space, if anyone knows me well, ie why I have insomnia.

Why I have insomnia? Simple. Lets say I go out for 5 hours, when I get home, I need min. 5 hrs to be by myself doing nothing or anything............I cant enjoy the day w/o being by myself for the "supposedly by myself" period.

OK, about completing oneself. Really. I doubt anyone here finds oneself complete coz U r attached or U r married. I believe if you dont know yourself well, you are not complete with yourself, NO ONE, NO ONE can complete you. How many of us in this world find ourselves so uncomfortable being with himself/herself ALONE?!?! Does it mean, hving someone close by make U more comfortable? Then, can you be with that person 24 hrs alone, even while U r doing some serious shitting????????????? Sometimes, without someone, you may only find it less convenient, as air tickets - buy 2 U get cheaper fare. Hotel room, double is cheaper than single. Restaurants, a table with 2 seats instead of one seat. Or for a woman, no one helps u changing the light bulb (actually some guys dont even do that themselves!!!!!) or carry your heavy laundry. ONLY inconvenience, NOT incomplete when you dont have someone nearby!

While, lets go back to Adam & EVE. Actually, if according to the Bible, God created EVE coz ADAM was lonely. So he found a way to complete ADAM. No one ever said EVE was needed to be complete. It's ADAM - THE MAN - who was/is/has been in need for completion. So very daringly, I would say, the womam EVE was perfect! hehehehehe.........so it's wrong to tell a woman that she needs a man to complete her! Well, in retrospect, I would also jump to conclusion that why women need to endure period pain, birth pain - coz we actually convinced the imperfect ADAM to eat the fruit (no one ever said it was AN APPLE) - so we are perfectly imperfect, in somewhat, evil.

For me, I want to stay single until I find the right guy. My mom asked me why I didnt stay with the GREAT GUY (Anthony), so I wouldnt have to suffer. I tell you, my frens, if I would have stayed with him, you would never get a chance to know me. As I know me well that, I know I would surely commit suicide. Not coz he's a nice guy or a bad guy - just simply I couldnt achieve my purpose in life, while feeling guilty all the time for myself, and for him - I would surely jump. No matter how much I suffered for past few years, it was my choice, it was my purpose to learn something. But if I got stuck with just convenience, as far as I know, I would rather die than live for that.

I luv u dearly as a fren.....kekekekekeke, as long as we will go on a trip to Phuket next year or U buy me a return ticket to Melb. ^^

I am a workaholic but also a playaholic

I still have no money.

But I am so happy these few days as I am supposed to think of at least 3 projects.....coming to 4 after today's meeting. Someone is asking if I want to work with him in Shanghai......today. I feel so happy as I could use my brain actively & crazily. I guess I am a workaholic. I was depressed big time as no one was using my brain.

Yet, I also think - so if I got so much projects going on. How can I swim? Hang out? I want to do both......I realize time is so limited for someone like me....who wants to work and play all the time.

YET, I AM HAPPY HAPPY!!

Another fisherman

Talked to another fren who is a fisherman too. We find each other very intelligent. LOL

He opened few co doing pretty well, based on similar fisherman concept of living. YEAH! I am relieved, and now I have a good Monday.

Conclusion is that - we should encourage others more. Dont step on people. Dont make negative comment all the time. Make a joke to cheer someone that day, esp Monday.

Ranking

As I am glancing through my blog entry categories, I realize I have my own ranking.

Me of coz is always Number One. Then it's about people. Then, Movie. Then dogs.

Luv is really minimal, guess it suits me. I am not a very luving person, thou I am compassionate. I dont regard this as top priority of my life, thou in the past I used to think it was. I am constantly amazed at how life, experience has refined me to who I am now.

if you are talking about in luv, I feel I am so in luv with my dogs. Esp lottie now, she always luvingly gazes at me, like she couldnt keep her eyes off me. This kinda of luv constantly makes me smile & happy.

My First White Hair

I know it should be called Grey Hair but the one I found is indeed shinny white. Since I started dying my hair, I never found any white hair at all. I occasionally would ask my stylish if they could spot any at the roots, usually they always complimented my hair as dark rooted as anyone would wish. 

Now,

I got mine.

I totally disagree that if you think too much, you got your white hair. Though in some cases, if one is that stressed, not just their hair is compromised, everything inside or outside of their bodies would be compromised. I had 2 years of extreme stress & anxiety, I only found my 1st white hair - not a bunch of whities, so using me as an experiment, my point is valid. hehe

Mememto , Momento

Shit, I always said "mOmento".

Finally, I watched this, thanks to my dear friend Dion. He actually gave me the disc as he now only goes & gets himself blu-ray, hehehehee, to my benefits.

I watched few of Chris Nolan's movies lately, actually, I realized I watched most of his movies except Following & this. This one blew my mind the most. I really like that he's so dark and honest. This movie reminds me that. How many a time we want to lie to ourselves?!?! How often we all live in our own universe? Yet, not many dare to say they are not living in reality but their own fairy tale. O well, not for me to judge! :P

It's a constant effort to be honest. Just like in the moive, for Lenny, it's a constant effort to make him believe in his own lies too. It's a dual effect. U couldnt get it w/o another.

Human mind is so powerful. Some said, the collective conscience built the pyrimaid. I think it's so possible. Ar, sidetrack again.

Yawn, sleep now. Have a good week ahead everyone!!

KISSES!!

P.S. He actually "Gained major funding during the 1999 Hong Kong Film Festival by showing his film Following (1998) and then asking the audience to donate money to his next film Memento (2000).

BRAVO HongKIE, Bravo!

Lately,

Various friends or people have come to ask me to be involved in some projects. Guess, they know I am in desperate need for money. The fields are really scattered. Some are not even my expertise. 

As a fisherman, I take on everything. I think, to some, it may not be right in a business term. Yet, I am THE business. My brain is my business. I got nothing to offer but to sell my brain and time. What do I want in return? These are the main concerns for me.

I want enough salary to afford my livelihood. Buy food for my dogs and save some for their in-case of emergency such as desex, surgery, etc etc.....those cost alot. I need freedom. I dont want to go back to a job. Stability vs freedom. I want freedom. I NEED a holiday, which I didnt really have for maybe few years. But my holiday will no longer be purely holiday. As a fisherman, I will go around to search for fish. So it will always be work+holiday => if not I would feel upset. Business opportunity has already so gel-ed, so stuffed, so grown into my every thinking & my being. I become IT.

I am going through the poorest stage of my life, but I am at my most contented page. So, friends, dont worry I am not treating myself good. Actually I like it. I just want ti say it here, how life has evolved me. There's no right or wrong in this aspect if I am contented with it, rite?

Big Whale catcher or a fisherman

Was talking to a friend today, who has her business as well. It's always good to have talks with people like these, as I could get a chance to re-evaluate some of my thinkings. Well, she gave me some good suggestion, indeed. I am always blessed to have people who are selflessly sharing secrets with me.

It got me thinking. Some people work great as a whale catcher, while, some like me are good to be a fisherman. I dont have the skills, or I dont plan to learn the skills that well to be so focused at catching a big whale. I could say they work smart way, as all they need to do is seasonally spotting for a good whale.

While, for fisherman, yes we need to wait for the great season too, but we need to work the stupid way - cast the net, catch the fish, then categories various fishes into the right place. The profit margin is less, unlike the whale catcher, really. I believe higher profits should go to people who are so focused.

I thought about it. Could I be like that? Really, I know myself I cant. Id rather be a fisherman. I really want to see if one day I could catch a fish with a golden spoon in its mouth or not, or if it's so rare I wouldnt need to work for the rest of my life coz of its fish. Guess, 1. I am living in my own universe, 2. I believe in miracle, 3. I am a gambler.

I am bored.

I rarely go on FB much nowadays. 

People keep sometimes (to me once a year is not bearable too) posting how you choose a woman, or what qualities you should be looking for in a man, or how worse HKprincess syndrome is................it's so CLICHE, so BORING......can they come up with something new or more original? Like, they make a list of what they think, instead of posting other pple's work?

Then, I deleted many women esp from my FB because they posted their kids pic up EVERY OTHER DAY, if not everyday. DO U KNOW THAT YOUR BABY ISNT REALLY THAT CUTE?!?! I am not referring to some of you who have a family & kids, as seriously you actually dont post pictures up of your kids enough as far as I am concerned.

Then, there are some who keep whinning.........I am moody, I am emotional, I am sad. Why they just get moody everyday & talk about it? I am moody daily too, seriously. I really wish they all had my share of bad luck - guess they wouldnt say they were moody, they would ONLY talk about how to KILL THEMSELVES the best ways!

Then, lets not leave the political correct people. Dont want to comment them, as I am always political neutral or political incorrect.

So Blessed!

I feel so blessed again & again with good friends & +ve thinking.

I dont pity you becoz you are OLD.

Seriously.

I dont believe in age thing. Sometimes, when me & my frenz talk, we talk about how unmotivated or "stupid" the just-outta Uni people are. However, actually I never entirely agree with that. This is how we say it as adults. As I clearly recalled, my parents, my aunts, anyone who are like 20-30 years older than me said the same thing - my gen sucks. SO Now I am complaining about next gen? Well....we adults r so silly!!!! I think only part of it is true, not all.

OK back to my topic.

I am sometimes disappointed with the elderly. I dont get it why some govt or co should keep people like these - procasinating, lazy, not upto date..........Dont throw tomatoes to me. Listen to my below cases first!!!

Scenario 1:
I went to Vic Park to swim one day - it was raining dog shits. So I casually asked the MANY old ladies inside if the above resturant was open. They said, I DONT KNOW. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! You work there and you know NOTHING. Then, one night maybe around 9ish, they were so desperate to "FLUSH" the floor - they became so impolite - WAI WAI, DONT CHANGE HERE. WE FLUSH NOW. HEY, flush after 10 la when the pool is closed. Why yell at us getting us out of your way!!????????? You know, there are so many of them, actually basically DOING nothing, just sitting around chatting. That's how WE FLUSH OUR TAX DOLLARS.

Shouldnt they be happy they got a job for so long?!?! THEY SHOULD BE FIRED if I WOULD BE THE MGT!

Scenario 2:
I went to take my laundry just now, but I forgot my receipt. I saw the elderly lady looking concern. of coz I was apologetic. I thought to myself that she must be concerned if there would be a chance that the bags got mixed up.

No No No, babies....No No No.

She was ONLY concerning that there were more work, as she needed to fill in a book and let me sign. Basically, I just took her pen and filled up everything.

Conclusion, I wont pity elderly or respect them, if they dont respect themselves. And no wonder some young gen are behaving like how they are behaving now. It's simple. They got such parents. Dont just blame on the young gen anymore.............coz we were once them, If we could help influence them to be better, do it, as one day they would be raising another batch of young gen.

I am indeed worried for our future, not just HK but the world.

I am Happy!

OK! My boobs is doing fine, thou I would love them to be slightly smaller.......I dont get it why so many pple r trying to get bigger boobs! WAHAHAHA.....................

Around 1.5 mth exercise & being careful with my diet, I finally found some pictures that I dont have gigantic fat face.....ie great. I am happy!!!! Sometimes, hardwork does pay off !!!!! I WILL CONTINUE....FIGHT HARDER!!!

And it's great catching up with frenz. We used to hang out every 2 weeks. Now, few times a year if we got lucky. So I am glad we did all go. Of coz, it has been sized down. It would be like 10-20 people at any one time couple of years ago. People left. Pple got separated (like me & ex), but it's all good that the good ones stay behind!

Honestly, I am not into pub scene anymore. We all felt sleepy after an hr. We found music boring. Ar, getting old? I wudnt think so, thou, I must say we have our own priorities now. For me, my dogs r my priorities. My sis kids are mine too. Id rather spend time with them doing nothing - feel so contented. Also, spending time with people that deserve your presence is important as well.

Anyhow, it was a good weekend. I feel happy.

CALMNESS

My fate is somewhat going to be determinded by a conf call by a bunch of europeans. Isnt it cool????

Shit, I should be shitting myself freaking out now. But I am very calm like hte silent Space. I guess my last 2 years of training and many years training my EQ (from -ve EQ) from my neurotic, suspicious bossesssssss..........I learnt my lesson. The only way to combat this fear is to ignore it. Find more things to do. Ie why I have been sending out many many emails on proposing business co-operation.

What if it's bad news? Honestly, I will be happy too, as this gives me a direction. Finally, I can let go completely. Feel suck for sure. But I have done my best. I will work on something else. It's like a bad relationship. Getting out or staying put. It's never an easy way out. If someones makes the move, sometimes inside we are happy despite we may feel remorse toward them at the same time. Bittersweet is the sweetest of all.

If it's good news. Whoever is reading it, I will buy a drink when I see you! :)

Live in fairy tale

I like fairy tales, like Little Mermaid. Not snow white thou. I even believe in fairies. Of coz, you know I believe in other intelligent beings too.

I realize today that I am so stubborn or so living in my own universe, I so wanted to ignore the reality. Anyhow, I make up my mind I will do something now. Maybe bow to the reality. 

My fairy tale or universe never consists of White Knight saving me from the top floor of a castle. My mind, I have always been stuck in a pit suffocating since I was 18. My universe consists of happiness, real enjoyment of freedom, free thinkings, free of judgement, free to be me, you, them. I am not looking for a Utopia. I dont believe in paradise or free of troubles. On the contrary, I believe only via experiencing life & challenges make one being able to be free.

I hope this is the final training of the supreme being for me for the next 20-30 years. I am outta wit. Outta energy to fight, to stay positive, to be ah Q. I just want to be ME to believe in the goodness of things, faith in better Me-tomorrow.

MERRY XMAS!!!!

My friend Leo just wished us MERRY XMAS FOUR months in advance. I WANT TO WISH U ALL HERE - MERRY XMAS in ADVANCE too!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always love Xmas, since I came back to HK. But last few years I didnt find my Xmas very magical. Somehow this year, esp thanks to Leo's reminder, I am feeling the magic again. I like Xmas as it's supposed to be a season of FUN FUN FUN. not of the gifts or snow.

Wishing U a magical pre Xmas months!!!!!

sorry

I kinda went through last 2 week entries. MAN, I have been pissed. And agitated. Sorry for all the negativity. But well, the truth is I am waiting for a news, which makes me so agitated. Actually, was waiting for two news, one was good news. I hope the other one that makes me so agitated is good news too. I wasnt planning to talk about it, as I realize the more I talk about a positive thing or hope for the good things - they never come. It's so against the law of attraction or book of secrets. Anyhow...........I just briefly mention it here without details, due to these reasons. I am holding all the anger and expectation in......actually.

No need to encourage me. Just secretly pray for me. :) 

THANKS MY FRENS WHO HAVE BEEN READING ME HERE.......^^

Politically Correct?

I dont understand why I cant be politically incorrect?

I am a racist, so what!? But I dont go against all races. I have my share of experience with some in that race then make my decision why I dont like them in general. But I am an extreme person. I dont like that race, dont mean I cant like one particular person of that race.

Why do we have to be politically correct all the time? I am sometimes politically neutral, as I got no preference but when I choose to be politically incorrect, I dont think people should correct me when I dont correct them.

I have other things which may sound politically incorrect. Racist is just one of them. I am racist against 2 races only, but after the hostage siege last nite, it may bump upto three. I hvnt made up my mind yet.

In short, I want to say something to praise myself. haha.....above is just an intro. When I was studying in Aus, I was trying to be a good person and also a good representative of a Hongkie. I did get various compliment from various nationalities saying that becoz they ve known me they ve changed their views on Hongkies. However, I hv met many various different nationalities that not only they never try to be a good citizen, they never even try to be a nice person. So in one sentence, they deserve my despise. :)

This is just me, being so politically incorrect of being racist and a show-off person. :D

Another Horrible News of HK

I am sure you are feeling really angry & sad for the hostages that were kept at a tour bus in Manila last night. WHo knows! It's their last day of the trip. It was meant to be? It was fate?

I say it was SHIT.

Honestly, I have never been fond of philippinos. One of them even not just seduced my late grand-dad, I believe she even took his money. Anyways, men frail, fial at old age, no big biggie. Now, I will dislike them more. I know it's super childish, but this is what I have to do.

I hope the families and people who stay alive keep strong, though honestly who can? Easy to say it, isnt it? I put myself in their shoes - it's just impossible. I just hope they allow themselves time to heal.