Last Day

After a while, you know you cannot express much on social media. Safe space is so important for me. Living in Asia, sometimes there's a some form of stress - anyhow it's another topic. I hope to reuse this space, mainly for myself to dive into my own thoughts & emotions.

"Last Day' is not the end of the day. But according to Matias De Stefano, we are going to go into the new year from tomorrow 30Jul2020 - according to ancient egyptian calender. I know no shits on all these stars, latitudes or constellation - my bad, I studied and read alot but I suck in physics and maths.

So, this post is to record what I was thinking, in a way for myself. Last week, as I was walking Lottie (my dog dog), I thought to myself (while she was peeing) - 2020 is such a boring year, so so so damn boring. It's like a 7 months of boredom - I cant travel, I cant do this, I cant do that. Frankly, isolation doesnt affect me too much on lifestyle but in the mind - I felt abit trapped, as I couldnt plan I couldnt arrange etc etc...blah blah. Then, I have no idea how, I opened my Gaia TV....I rewatched INITIATION by Matias - which I tried to watch his show few times past 1 year since I got subscription. I just couldnt watch him.......at that time, I just felt info was boring & irrelevant...But then at the same time, I knew on some level I should watch. ie why I tried couple of times. Finally just few days ago....last week, I did - I watched & rewatched. EXPLOSION. BLEW UP MY MIND. 

I never once followed any masters....any guru, and I dont see him as that. He kept reminding us in his Youtube videos.....he's just sharing his truth from his remembrance & perspectives. No one knows one Truth, it's only from his perspectives......starting that resonating with me so deeply. I couldnt use words to describe......in this era, everyone is the way, everyone is the truth......u know !?

Anyways, as I was saying, boring 2020 - can we magically restart this year!?!?! Okies, yes I can. haha......tomorrow is the 5 days out of time and then we start the new year. Wow what!? I think my wish was answered, even in a childish way but it's giving me some hope.....anyhows.

My mind has stopped for few years as I am trying to be "grounded", to work hard........yet, I cannot deny, one part of me is suffocating. My inner being. I am not someone who search for happiness.....I tend to search for saddness. And I dont think I search for neither now.....there is blockage to describe my thoughts & numbness.....but, I feel, as I embark on this alignment for planetary consciousness with Yosoy Red and Matias......I feel, there is starting some changes in me, though I got no words for it, so I have to write write & write.

"I AM TRANSFORMATION"

Seeing my happy dog's face makes me happy from within, I hope whoever stumbles on here she makes u smile also. xoxo