Summer.......is tiring me out

I always hate summer......it's sticky, sweaty,....rain.sun

i belong to vampire world, dark and breezy

didnt write for a while, I think

my mood has been stale

no nothing, somewhat........

work is crazy, as usual

I had few days off but I took sickie today

as I just want to escape

from reality

It's terrible, I know

but I just need to escape.....once in a while

I guess, this trip I didnt go by myself

I went with a fren

it suffocated me

now I started to understand

I cant indeed go on trip with anyone, if we sleep in same room

 

I will need days to recover this effect

I dun mean I would feel this with my bf or something

coz with a bf, I can be myself

I can tell him I want to go to this shopping mall or do massage......while U sit in the pool checking out hotties in tiny bikinis

I now could un....I am no woman's frenz....

I cant be.....

it's too much for me.....

I dont mind taking care of people, but I dont like at same time

when....I just want to sit in the hotel room doing nothing daydreaming

to me, that's rest, that's vacation

 

shopping in bangkok of coz is wonderful

but I just realize I didnt actual;ly buy anything....substantial

except....a pc, a blanket, very very cheap, hand knitted by peasants......

 

what the fuck wrong is my problem???? Am I such loner or self absorbed bitch?
guess I am both
and guess I am destined to be alone......shits...
how daunting is this notion!?!?!