A Sunny Sunday

My mind is being taken to another plane from not far from the earth level. I think it's why I cant see clearly, the big picture, maybe I just refuse to float, to fly. Frankly, I am going to be very dark next couple of weeks, I will allow myself to continue to be depressed, miserable until....ok, target bday. Oh by the way, I have got a bday party plan already, abit less usual....still, just an excuse to gather frenz. Maybe some part, I will need Bruce to help, afterall he's the dark knight. :))

I really think I need to re-focus and its not something I was born with. Since young, my mind is like a waterfall.....just keep flowing w both genius and dumbest ideas. At one stage, by focusing on just books were a great, books cud be a good tool to train my mind. Now, I will need to force-train my mind again. And I cant think of how yet........guess it needs some form of combination locks.

Last week, I almost had episodes of strokes and heart attacks. It was a bad week, everyday some bad things happen....it was quite scary actually. And I just have maybe 10 hrs to clear my head, to re-stand once again.

I guess, I am quite tired now being alone and lonely. It's not a nice feeling anymore....it used to give me a sense of existence, now it just offers me drag. So.......I hope I can write more to describe something...yes something....what;s that something , I got no idea!!

I guess, at the end of the day.....maybe my frenz, maybe U here....after some years, and they come to tell me, hey gal, U have changed......to something....something.....I dont think a person needs to change to better for the world, maybe that change cud be worse for the world, yet.....if u change, u change it better for yourself (as in my case for myself)......it's a self merit.

Anyways, at this moment, my mind is very clouded. And I feel bloated too.....I need go to shit hopefully no more toxins in my body to further clouding my already clouded mind.