Clearly....

I'm experiencing melancholic depression!! I'm depressed! I refuse to go home after work! I refuse to sleep! I refuse to care!!! Yet - I want to just stay home, I just want to sleep without waking up, and I just want to bother, to b obsessed with things I don't need to care!!! So, I know I'm hving a spring depression!!! I'm hungry to a pt I have terrible gastric pain yet I can't really eat! I don't remember what I put in my mouth!! No wonder my intestine is also complaining with strikes!! With blows! Why am I complaining!? It sucks! I want to crack some jokes here but my mind is clouded!! I can't crack a joke! Sorry! Later maybe if u care! Going round and round!! I don't want to go home as I'm afraid I may see my dog dead! Yes my old dog shadow seems abit slow, moody, tired.......I'm afraid she will die! I already rehearse in my head - I'm bk there, she doesn't come to greet me and then I check - oh no warmth, just frozen! N I'm going to call my sis and start crying - what shud I do with the body!? Shud I keep in fridge before sb cud pick up the corpse!? Or shud I act like my patents!? Just chucked our dead animal in a plastic bag and put in rubbish bin!! It's how old gen deals w dead animals!! So what shud I do!? Pple say I'm logical - actually no I'm just quite unnecessarily intellectual or dreamie - I like yo think of all possibilities and then rehearse in my head how I shud react or act!!! Anyways I will see if she's dead or not in 20 mins.... Sorry! My mind is clOuded!!