haha, I am crying at office....long time never did, and never really cried much, or maybe I cried too much. I have some epiphany. Of coz I am crying not coz someone scolded me or something. I think on some level, I feel really hurt by something....maybe it's just a trigger, but then snowballed from something knotted from the past, it's like uncontrollable.
Yesterday, I had this idea.....I am indeed hving some form of superwoman spirit. I want to save the world......or be nice.....or change people....I once did fantasise its my role on earth. However, even though my own metamorphosis has been pretty drastic, I always feel I am not perfected enough....I dont hv the skill to do it. So I decided .... maybe by influencing others in little ways, I could make the world better. Just by changing pple mindset....in little ways, maybe I could change the world's thinking system. So I am seriously quite dedicted to do it. Maybe abit on blog, abit on FB, abit on close encounters......etc etc.
Then, sometimes I feel pple who are close to me, at the end somewhat.....I know they have changed. Chnaged to better, maybe stronger......my ex-es....all same...I let them go from my palms once I know they r in their own frame, the rite direction. Not that I will lead them, but more...sometimes a step better makes life slightly easier. Actually one at times had anxiety attack.....I was there. Then another one, becoming more intune with himself, etc etc. Though, I am a nutcase.....I sometimes want someone to be there to see the best in me and to indeed uncover it......Yet....all of them appreciate me with negative comments....all wud say I am arrogant, insensitive, impatient, crazy, imbalance.........at the end
I think I have always carried such wounds w me....I mean I am not a saint, yes I am indeed all of the comments they comment about me.....hhahahaa....but I wudnt expect that as parting gifts.
And yes about yesterday.............I did my own little angel work by interviewing 2 little galz. I have so much compassion for people...I dunno...how I wish they could be all under my wings so I can help them according to each personality. I indeed want to raise a sharp army somewhat....anyways, at the end, one said...(esp the one I said...sorry, this jobs doesnt suit u),,,,thank you so much as no one has been so nice in interview and thanks for sharing with me your view and suggestion.
Guess at times, certain things are destined, then it's destiny.
Anyhow, yes I am just bullshitting. It's absolutely boring......sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment