Morning Princess

"shy", dont ick me! 

Yes, ie what I have been greeted each day. Smitten?! Yes. Never check my morning greetings as much. You know what! Never like to be called princess. From my new Maus, yes, it's fine.....it's good....it's normal and so not cliche. My frenz advised me to take it slow. Slow? What's slow? Observe more? Observe what? I do things my own ways. Ok, well, he may hurt me or leave me one day, but so....?!?! It's not going to kill me. I just go back to my previous lifestyle. No msg every morning only.

After so many years, I realize it's not about the pace. I tried slow, fast pace before. Usually men pace faster. I pace slower. The ultimate results are the same - if it ends, it ends. Doesnt matter what speed you are on, except the hurt level, I guess ie what people talk about. U know what! I dont feel hurt from my ex-es, except the humiliation they put me in, the non-uniqueness they faked it on me, their deliberate showing me the ugly sides of human kinds...........that hurts, not coz they were my bf, but the failure in showing me some good sides of humans and simple fact of being a genuine human - why is it so hard to be genuine, to be oneself, to be honest......Shit it, just be one!

I am not looking for a forever ever epic luv story. I am not snow white and he or any man is  neither prince charming. I just want to be able to imagine to be seated in a little cottage on an island sipping coffee. This is my vision since maybe 18. Actually, oddly, he somehow could fit into this vision.......haha, yes it's too fast in this picture, but it's nice, so WHY NOT!?!?!

I would care for this new Maus even we are together or not together in the future, as how hard it is to find someone to accept me as who I am, while being able to feel my mood, my thinking before I would share......he will be my friend forever, even not luver forever. This is the simple confession and truth. :)