This week, I walked my dogs twice.
My Lottie is almost 6 month old, I am trying to make her listen to me even not at home.
I always have this pb of controlling dogs or people if we are not kept in the secure place- Home.
E.g. My first dog - BoBo, a Collie. He's the best, most adorable, kindest, sweetest dog ever. He loved me so much. He would follow me everywhere at HOME (only). I went to toilet, he wud wait outside of the bathroom. I studied at my crammed corner, he wud be sleeping under my seat. Whenever I got up, he wud quickly get up just to follow me everywhere, anywhere.
Yet, he could never obey me once we went out. I still dont know why. He only listened to my sis & dad....O well.
He died almost 10 years ago. I couldnt see him at the end. For this, I was mad with my mom for months. I believed he wanted to see us one last time b4 he drew his last breath. He was trying hard to stay alive, even though time and oxygen were going against him. But from what I was told, he was trying - but my mom was mercilessly letting him die at vet's hand. SHIT. Talking about it make me angry.
I knew about his death weeks after. That made me more mad. My moms said, she was afraid I would be too upset. COME ON! What's the diff??!!! On that night or 30 days later - the effect was the same!
Anyhoos, I thought of him alot since then. I felt very very bad always. Then one day, I had a dream which I believed he gave to me intentionally, from far away in the galaxy. He told me he was fine. He became a human and I gotta not to worry about it anymore. I woke up in tears, but since then I felt relieved. No more guilts.
Sometimes, I believe maybe dogs would love me more than anyone. The only handicap they have is they cant make money, they cant pour tea for me......
Dont you wonder sometimes, why we are all created this way? human or dog.

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