Isnt breathing supposed to be easy?!

Then, why do I feel suffocated?

Isnt time supposed to heal?

Then, why do I feel it wounds me even more?

Isnt luv supposed to be magical?

Then, why do I need logical?

Isnt book supposed to teach?

Then, why does it make me want to torn it into pieces?

Isnt life supposed to be long?

Then, why does it make me feel it should be short?

Isnt sun supposed to warm us?

Then, why do I hate the burn so much?

Isnt I supposed to be one?

Then, why do I need to be I+U me?

Isnt child supposed to be loved & protected?

Then, why do they sometimes tear our dreams?

Just bullshit, after hearing some stories from a dear friend. I feel sad for both of them. Life, it's so heavy, yet so light. I hope they will be OK. I hope they will be fine. And I hope, despite time doesnt heal the wounds, but time will help them endure the pain and ultimately numb it. :(

Take care!!

Very Melancholic

My brain is standing still, like - from soya milk turning into beancurd.

Yes, my brain is like a curd now. Curdy brain. New word for the world!

Very curdy.

Very Very Curdy.

I think....in the movie Inception, if we can indeed travel in dreams like them, induced dreams. I guess Nolan forgets one point that shud be depicted in the movie, or maybe he did. It's after this dream states, one would go into depression. For surely. No doubt. Ie how I am experiencing. I had great dream moments, once somehow the reality took me out from the "moments of dream-like", I start to begin my melancholic moments. Is this how why some need to go to mental hospital, I mean if the dreams are too vivid enough that they could not tell the difference btw, the actually reality vs the vitually dream? 

I usually quite enjoy my melancholic moments, but this time it super irritates me, as it delays , disrupts me to enter into the dreamy moments. Ummmm......

OK, have a good weekend, Seems HK is still super under super burning sun hell. Drink more water, put on sunscreen, take care of your heart & brain.

Sometimes, U just feel amazed....

Yes, maybe I am good. I mean I am good at explaining me. Or communicating me.

Or, people are good.

I have met this guy. Mr Zadgar or Zoodgar, dont even know the name, man. He knows I am reckless and bored. Bored by....etc etc. He could explain it. I think he's a psychic. Or, just simply have an unusual IQ of 220. I dont get this often, as U know, I like to talk. I fight to talk. I mean, well, I am a fantastic listener too. I attain to details of one conversation. But, it's amazing that someone could "hear" me. Coz usually I just blahbla-ing. No meaning but full of substance. 

:)

Thanks.

Songs by Karen Mok

I like Karen Mok. Heard she was getting married. hehe, I feel so happy for her.
We had connection, esp my good fren was her schoolmate. Of coz I dont know her personally.
Just like her style. Enjoy!

-Lets Fall in Love


This is super cute song, which I sometimes sing at Karaoke. Bruce Wayne would know....hehe....
It depicts the boredom of a gal in dating. How bored she feels about guyz grumbling, e.g.
1. their ex - baddening their ex-es
2. Want to take care of me
3. But freak out by my tears
4. Also told me how bored their lives had been and wanting more exciting ones (duh?! huh?! WTF?!?!?! GTE A LIFEEEEE)

Plainly, they behave like plain bread & plain water. hehe.

Plain bread & water




The Way you make me feel
- About something beginning.....wow, so happy, U also fall in luv with me,
Even smile in the dreams.


- Another my karaoke song
"He doesnt love me"

YoYo-Ology

There's YoYo diet. Meaning U have fluctuating weight issues, coz U move from one hell-like slim diet to a creating obese diet. haha. Maybe it's wrong definition. Or yoyo weight problem, U become a waif to an elephant then become a waif. But soon you realize, you either die from anorexia or just plain heart attack due to fatty clogs in your blood.

Then, it's YoYo weather. HK is fine, we usually get clear hot, cold during its specific season. But when I was in Melb or I am sure U hv been at different places - in the morning, freezing, in the afternoon U just want to stick your head in the ice, then in the evening U just want to be surrounded by many hot coals. Then, even walking in 1 min distance - under the shade, you could feel a chilling ghost following your bones, out of the shade, U could see the scorching heat burning your soul.

Then of coz, yoyo emotion. Many use roller-coaster to express this. But to me, it's very yoyo. Never ending, up & down, if you are good, U can swirl it. if U are bad, you create a bad pendulum effect. And then you have to realize one daunting factor- U r but connected by a string, only, solely. That's how fragile emotion is....a string. I think, there's a rubber string in our head controlling it.....some have more stiff nature, some are more elastic.

OK, I am experiencing yoyo. Yes, there's a very unique outside factor. Not even reading books could control me. Esp, I lost my super thick I Ching research material. I am sulking. The more prolonged I drag on, I think the heavier, thicker book wont suffice to focuz me.

But.......

I dont possess a real yoyo anymore. I think, ultimately, I have always chosen to be in yoyo motion. 

I cant deny it. And I wont act adult to say - we all should be less yoyo or we should appear as more mature. ummm......I think, I will always be a yoyo kid who is trying to learn how to master the yoyo, but could never do a good swirl. But that's the fun, when the yoyo head might hit you and you try to learn to "dodge this".....hehe....that's the fun being a yoyo child.

Found my Twin

According to my twin, I am the hysteria. haha.....ok.
Anyways, I found my twin. Weird.
But twins are not meant to stick together, we just share abit more souldust together only.

Love this music vid - by Muse - Hysteria.




It's bugging me
Grating me
And twisting me around
Yeah, I'm endlessly
Caving in
And turning inside out

'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control

It's holding me, morphing me
And forcing me to strive
To be endlessly cold within
And dreaming I'm alive

'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
I'm not breaking down
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control

And I want you now
I want you now
I feel my heart implode
And I'm breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith erode

Sleeping Together

Do you like sleeping in the same bed with someone? I basically hate it....at least 99%. So I did study or I should say ponder on this for years. As I just liked to sleep with 2 of my ex-es, I meant.....slept the whole nite. Somehow, despite they are not exactly muscular types, it's so easy to tuck into theirs - arms, body shape, etc. It's kinda nice, I gotta say.

I think it's a pheromones thing  and a smell thing - in this aspect maybe I am like a puppy. haha......I am not exactly talking about body odor. I just remember I like the "smell" or "aura" of them while sharing the same bed with them. I need space, I am a person who needs space. If i cant fall in luv with the "smell", I couldnt sleep - then I would sleep on sofa, hence this is also a sign for me if I really like the guy or not.

Do I miss someone sharing bed with me? Honestly? Not really. But when I find that person, yes I do miss and sleeping suddenly becomes like a joy instead of a duty. :D

Questioning Mind

I LUV questions. Being asked or asking. 

But today I am learning not to ask certain questions.

It's very tough for me actually. Coz I am just like a conversation wizard....or witch.....

I luv understanding, knowing, exploring.....the unknown answers.

But then, many a time, we know the Q&A & the FAQ....so why bother?!?!

But still we would want to know.

I need a terrible heavy thick book to gear my mind these days soon.

ok. so much blah......I will stop, as I blah too much.

My mind is kinda empty now.

Feeling like Million Buck (Euro)

Guess, it's time to feel abit melancholic. Maybe that time of the month is coming. I dont know, while I was sitting in the toilet....yes, I do think alot while sitting in the toilet bowl - I thought....

It's very important to feel I worth million bucks (Euro) -

My high school fren asked me if I still missed Mr Maus. I said No, everything just so faded that I couldnt recall a thing. But as I realized I very much a person responded to Questions. I luv Questions. Some answers I feel I am in a haste to answer, I would really think about it when I have time. Even a food Q. Sometimes people ask me what's my fav dish is....really....I got no idea, so I have been thinking of this Q for....like over 20 years! I think what dawned on me while sitting on the bowl was that....for a split moment, he made me feel like Million Bucks.

And of coz, I have my great frenz like my best frenz who always make me feel I worth more than Million Bucks. 

My dogs, they make me feel I worth the world.

My new potential business partners make me feel important and I hope I could make Million Bucks for them.

And then, some.....they make me feel centless. And then we would get hiccups over such people......we humans are just bad at counting the blessing. I am learning. Learning very hard, very diligent to continuously remind myself that the centless feeling is stupid, naive and super worthless. For one, they just dont deserve your hiccups. 

What's with our brain that we would sometimes cling onto such worthless feeling? Why sometimes melancholy would offer such an amplifying magnitude when we could have a choice to overlook it? And why sometimes moodiness make us more arty, more charming.....that drive some of us searching for the feeling of existence? Why happiness doesnt give us grounded feeling....while depression offers the heaviness? (though we need the happiness to build the ground).

I somewhat feel saddened by something I saw. Just a little. As I said, gimme a day. I am a stronger gal now, wanting to search for better meanings of things, creating more glamour around me, spreading more radiance to the world, esp to my frenz who luv me....no complaints. Not any depressing thoughts either. Maybe just a moment....ie all. Hving such a moment....sometimes yack me outta my dreaminess too. So I welcome all kinda feeling.....understand it at my best and the move ahead. 

K, need to hug my dogs now. ^O^

Gimme 1 day I will be fine

Had a good evening. But when I got home, I saw some msgs....really disturbed me.

Anyways, just gimme a day....I will be fine.

Maybe tmr I need to browse the secondhand bookshop, so I will be calm again.

SMILE................:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

We are all LONELY entity.

OK.....I am doing some research & experiment. If anyone who has followed my life for 2 years, they know...I do that alot. Always doing some kinda mental research....etc etc. So, I joined something, and it gave me a chance to talk to quite a few guyz. Well, actually one is very special - I suspect he would be reading it, lets call him......Mr Karma. hehe.

Only after 2 days, I came across many....maybe a few....guess we r all just lonely in a big crammed city, so to speak. Not every guy is nut and sleazy or their ultimate goal is to get to a gal'z pant, thou, yes 99.9% they do have this fantasy. But indeed men are able to keep their "meatloaf" in their pants. 

I had an interesting email exchange with a man of his 50's about philosophy, writing, and authors, of coz....unbearable lightness of being too

Then Mr Karma, we shared a long phone call, which I never NEVER would do that as I dislike this kinda phone conversation....but we basically laughed our head off during maybe if not 3 wud be 2 hrs phone-ing.

Then another....a lonely soul....who lives around my area. I guess I could feel his loneliness, so I let him come to my place for a drink. He's super cute and decent. Honestly, I told him....if he wants I would hook him up with galz....

Within 2 days, despite very risky experiments, I did a couple of first time. And my conclusion is......it';s very nice. And esp very often, we forget how lonely people could be. They may not want anything, but maybe 15 min of your time....just to be there....even without a word. We all do stuff becoz, not just we want to do stuff, sometimes we want to do stuff so others will know what we are doing the stuff. That's why Facebook is so popular. And ie why we sometimes want to go Karaoke.....not coz we think we are fantastic singers, but we want to be heard.

====================================

AND.................just happened, one of the most craziest craziest thing happened. YES.............my god. So, I already drafted a plan, a plot..................it's gonna be excruciating funny and exciting. I cant wait to see my plot play out....YEA YEA YEAHHHHH. I cant reveal as it's too intimate, but if U want to know, feel free to send me a msg and I can...tell u. heheheheheheh

Erotic Story from a useless dude

OK, I received something as below, in chinese, but I will attempt to translate it into english. One thing, this guy, I could 99.9% be sure that he 1. doesnt get any woman, except hooker; 2. he didnt even write it himself, 3, his jerkoff time is less than 1 min, 4. he couldnt even do a woman more than 7 mins (or 11 mins - according to the time used to do a prostitute, average time is btw 7-11 mins. I bet his world-record time would be,......ummmm 30 sec, hehe.

Note - if find erotic stuff isnt your glass of milk, pls skip it....as it's too funny to me and I gotta put it here.

酒店房間裏,流水聲音跑進我的耳朵, 幻想花灑水從你的頭部流向你的頸上,一直跑到你的胸前,

Dripping water race to my ears, in the hotel room, me, fantacizing the shower splashing onto your head & neck, and gradually runs ti your chest

不斷冲激胸部頂點,真是誘人.

It's such a turn-on knowing that the water keeps smashing to the tips of your breasts

水怎會甘心在兩點上,他們馬上順著你的小腹,進占你清理好的陰部. 水不但想擁有最頂點,也希望到達最深入,溫暖,潤澤的寶地.

How could water ever stay on the 2 nipples??! The water smoothly runs to your tummy and then to your vagina. Water doesnt just want to possess the top everest (nipples) but it has to go deepened into the warmest wettest treasure.

當然他們能做到是不斷冲激你敏感部位,重而提升寶地濕潤指數. 正好迎接一會我在洗手間外為你準備的活動.
When the water keeps hitting your sensitive areas, it actually enhances your wetness quotient. Ie when I would come to the bathroom to get ready all the aftermath action with you.
---------------------those just v boring etc etc
我的中指小心找出你的洞穴口.慢慢地放進去.發覺非常容易進出, 相信是你還在回味當中. 手指溫柔進出,你已不用再回味,
When my middle finger goes into your "hole", slowly go in I realize it's so easy to go in,. And believe you are enjoying my gentle fingering.
-----------boring, next

我的肉棒需要出場,他撫摸你的洞穴口,從而濕潤了肉棒.看見你的眼神,多麼渴望我的進入,等,等,直到你跟我說'快進來
IT"S TIME FOR MY MEATLOAF.......yes, my meatloaf on stage. He caresses your hole "cave hole" and u seeing the mosited juiced-up meatloaf, you ask me to enter you asap.
我一路而上,達到深處.不斷抽插,由慢而快,再快而慢,由慢而快，再快而慢， 當我差不多的時候, 我再用手指公震動你的陰蒂. 讓我們一起達到高潮的快感.
OK, something about going in & out, caressing the clit and I cum (?>) so eays....hehehehehe/....slow & qui ck motion - I cum.
你已滿足嗎? 還是你會顯出你的技術,讓我重新站起來?
Are you satisfied? Or you will show off your technique to see him rise up again. 

My god..............I didnt really read it but only 1st sentence, already made me laugh my head off. And now, translating it, I laughed till tears fall like crazy. For one, by washing or showering, U dont get wetter, U get drier......hehehheeh. A woman can cum becoz U move your meatloaf up n down & then your fingering her?? Man....then men will just want to shag men, not women. And actually alotta women dont like the fingering as men think it;s by swirling around.....no....only do the G-nnie, not the swirl. Shit, most men dont get it, they think by doing the repetitive up N down women luv it. No......the up and down is for men. Women are not up n down, women r front n back.

I should really think of setting up a class.....hehehehehehe

Update July 2011

* I got no ideas what to say or write here, as I have been reading some books......they r just too fascinating. And I very much want to go to the top & bottom of them but I prefer not to say what they are becoz.....I am concurrently reading 2-3 different topics, yes including Bible at the same time. Hence.....I am abit mixup in the head, haha....but I like this, as I dont believe in "studying" one topic...I am in for my own hypothesis & theories. As my fren - Bruce calls it - Dawnism.

* OK, I had a super weird dream last night, rarely I could sleep before 1am, but I did. Sadly I was woken up at 2ish then I tried very hard to remember the dream - I knew I remembered every detail as it's actually quite an interesting plot, but..........when I got up this morning, I couldnt remember a single thing. So I am going to record my points next time with iphone recorder....shit, why didnt I??????????????

* Another quote - 

Paulo Coelho - Don't live every day as if it were your last. Live every day as if it were your first

Luv this Luv this. Lateral thinking combining with opposite insights. Turning the world upside down, right-left shifted - to see the world that we think we know, then ponder upon it - makes one more alive.

* OKOK, I reveal - one of the books I am reading is I-Ching. Man, it blows my mind, as I always thought it was so difficult to understand or grasp. Still is. But then dont mistake it's a tarot-card or future telling oracle only...no...it's the last thing it was intended. While I am reading the book, of coz with commentary - I no good with old chinese poetic language, then I was reading the bible - same thing shot to my eyes.

Many a time, during difficult time we strive, we fight, we work hard as we want to get out of the situation. But when everything becomes peaceful, we become less enthus, less striving to make it better.....so the chinese/  Tong Emperor's saying  goes - "easier to get the empire but harder to keep the empire" . So I heed to my heart and I hope it would repeatedly imprint in my heart & soul as one day if I could conquer, I want to keep it and make it better. I know me, I tend to let the goodies drift between fingers, as my tendency of laziness is indeed high. While, in the Bible God complained to King David for forgetting building a house for the Lord, while he himself dwelled in the cedar wooded place, then next was King David stole a woman from a general (and intentionally let him die in a battle) - of coz God reprimanded him. I like King David very much, as I was reading 1 Samuel, he was very diligent in winning the territories and was luving God with whatever ways he could offer, Yet.....when things were smooth, peaceful, all belonging to his......he became "arrogant" I would say despite he wud be the almost last one I wud use this word, yet.....being the KING of so many lands, one would be very hard not to become blinded by the power & self-praise. He of coz then asked for forgiveness, but still he gotta suffer the consequences.

I think it's a lesson for big or small things.....even for your luved ones, when you start off...u doing anything to achieve the goal, yet we dont have the stamina to maintain the goal. Maybe we should remind ourselves, do a lit more to attain the "goodness" of triumph, or "the conquest of love", as we dont maintain it, WE will SURELY lose it one day bits by bits.

Winning always comes in multitude, Losing always fades away without a trace without you knowing it.

Vampire/Zombie dreams & Karma

1. Vampire/Zombie Dream

Well, I just had a vam/zom - I couldnt tell it's Vamp or Zomb, anyways, either.....that one in my dream bit my hand. It was in some sort of morgue, brightly-lit, and few of us - galz (dont really know them, must be my buddies in the alternate universe 103) - we were trying to fight the vamp (lets imagine it's a vamp, nicer), it's a SHE as well. 

How it started was some corpse came alive or something - then we galz trying to leave the room but she was chasing us and we kept throwing some objects to her. There was a trick, we could throw her....maybe it's some kind of blue substance and I suspect she luved eating that and she would kinda pause & grabbed it. Then it would be the moment we could run - so we all ran from the room and I knew she couldnt get outta the room so we tried to shut it - and there shud be another gal but she wasnt helping at all - BITCH! And I was trying to shut the door & got bitten, ie when I got woken up.

Somehow I am not scared. Anyways, so I checked the dream dictionary:

- To dream that you are attacked by zombies, indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. You are under tremendous stress in your waking life. Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered.

- To see a vampire in your dream, symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside, you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to him or her. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic of someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship.

I cant understand how vampire, zombie relates to sex, and overwhelmed or drained....though yes I am very drained as a person but I am getting very filled up too in all aspects, esp mind....but that tires me out too....does it mean my dream has given me signs?? Anyways, kinda interesting.

2, Karma

Mr Zoodgar asked me what's the meaning of Karma. I am quite intrigued as he's pretty smart dude with revolver brain in his own language....haha. Karma sounds like such an easy word, yet when I attempted to explain then I realized I didnt ever try to check the meaning of  the word Karma. I just somehow "knew" the meaning of the word when I first heard about it.

I knew it, as I used phase to explain, which I always understood since youth - maybe coz of my studies, I needed to do alotta research. Hence, I came to conclude that everything is a grouping, a pattern, a category. And as for me, I like to categorize things or people - despite some are openly against the way I do it, I feel it fits me pretty well, as long as I keep open-mind and flexibility.

I feel that Karma is like a hamster running around the revolving circle - and our duties-  somehow is to learn how to "break" the pattern or jump out from the revolving thing. And the circle or pattern of things which give rise to chain reactions - are in my dictionary, vaguely, my version of "Karma".

http://dharma.ncf.ca/introduction/truths/karma2.html

In Buddhist teaching, the law of karma, says only this: `for every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant according as its cause was skillful or unskillful.' A skillful event is one that is not accompanied by craving, resistance or delusions; an unskillful event is one that is accompanied by any one of those things. (Events are not skillful in themselves, but are so called only in virtue of the mental events that occur with them.) 

(Sorry, maybe I did check the word meaning but not in english - I think maybe I asked some of my very spiritual mystic fren - they gave me a chinese word which then I correlated to my "version" - which I thought mine sound more +ve than the chinese word....anyways. )

Jan6th 1980 Andrew Tang See On

I dont know this person, but I got his book from Book Attic - the secondhand bookshop. His gift to someone he called Mr Lam on 1980, Jan 6th. I just luv holding the old stuff - filled with vintage smell & history. I kinda think....what's the reasons of giving Mr Lam - I presume it's his teacher - such a scientific crossover philosophy book back in 30 years ago. And wonder if he did read it himself?! Or was it a hit book then?! I am pretty sure nowadays students wouldnt read much apart from comics. It's a small book but crammed with words. it was almost 2pounds being sold in Ireland, so it's quite an expensive book back then, should it be few penny only 30 years ago for a book!?!?!

I want to meet this Andrew Tang.

That brings me to remember - in the beginning of the year, I always promised myself I would find a way to meet a guy who has remodelled a factory into a very nice office. Everytime I passed by North Point Highway, I couldnt help but get intrigued by the white windows - shoot out from the other dark gloomy factory windows. Who is so stylish to do it? or I should say who is so smart to do that?! I would do the same if I got the money to rent or buy a loft facing the sea.....I shouldnt say it's a smart thing to do, but it;s a logical thing to do. I even wish I could work there.

:)

My dreams

As been prompted in my head - "what's my dream?" I have been pondering for days....I know I cant answer it now, but I am desperately searching. I am glad I dont think my dream relies on another entity, for e.g. a husband, a kid, a soulmate, etc. These are not exactly what I want. To me, they are just nice to have, but not the ultimatum to save my wrecked soul. Yet, I start to accept the fact, maybe I do need another person or a companion to fill the gap of something.....which I never thought it was necessary in the past. But, I do feel, I shouldnt live alone like this, finding the joy of being alone. haha.....I mean I dont plan to be a hermit or something at all. I enjoy connection, though I am greedy, I always want many connections - hence that makes me believe we dont just hv ONE soulmate, but multiple to fill the mainly holes in the gap.

So, as I pondered about the question - I started sketching a mindmap. I know since young what I always wanted.....yet I am not sure if they are called "dreams", but I think I need to verbalize my dream at least to myself so I could have various goals, aims, destinations I need I know I need to achieve before I could finalize my dreams. The pb is that I was always a drifter, why? COz I didnt know what my dream was.

As I drafted down - I cant identify if it's indeed my dream but I suppose it's close enough. I read somewhere or a wiseman told me....the "dream" is the thing I would keep doing everyday (like U cant live without it). Frankly - laziness seems to occupy my everyday life, or I wish I could shit three times a day. So, I think the wiseman is not saying it right....yet, I cant yet explain to him why I think he's wrong! Hence, my mindmap could be one day to show him - my theory, of coz when I kinda "achieve" my dream.

I know inside my soul I always want that.......but to me, it's more like a after-feeling of achieving the goal. Hence, I am wrecked again. I need to maybe.....if not quantify it, at least - give a task or something to that feeling.....OK, well frankly, for e.g. I used to want to be the first HK astronaunt when I was in primary school. Or I wanted to win badminton competition in Olympics, as my uncle said to my mom I got this talent (now I am bad, apart from old age with brittle bones - I just couldnt feel the court anymore), or I wanted to be an archeologist so that I could discover the tomb of Emporor Chun - the mercury skyline with mapped out landscapes & rivers.....I fantasized it alot seeing the mercury starry nite on the tomb. Or when I was going to church, I would imagine to walk into the Ark or the Tabernacle (not like Indiana Jones, but close enough) - though I suspect there wud be no presence in those objects but it was thrilled to discover them - the awesomeness being the first, being the one is excruciating thrilling. Also, I did imagine I would be a missioary, esp inspired by Jim Elliot who was killed by the Eucador (? cant recall) tribal pple.....or became a pastor to offer great sermons to change lives or make pple cry......LOL......................Of coz I did envision I would obtain a Nobel Prize but I thought that was only for scientific discovery but then I realized one could get Nobel Prize for being peace advocateur or just simply writing a book......my enthus died coz it's not that special anymore. Then thought, maybe I could try out to get Oscar for the best screenplay or the best foriegn language director.....hahahahahahah

Sorry, all silly thoughts, but all these contribute to my "dream" feeling.............if ever I achieve one of those.

We are All Screw-Up......

I think it's a fantastic thought. Somehow, we are all One in the screw-ity.

But I gotta say, I met one who to me....by far I couldnt accept. Usually as U know me, I am open-minded, liberal. I dont really care much what opinions one has on his or herself, or even on me. Or if u hold the truth of the world or secrecy of humanity, I really....dont bother much either, but of coz I always luv to talk & listen to different opinions. However, my fren, Mr Loo.....I told him that I was sorry  to even bother to argue or "enlighten" him, as hvnt seen him for so long, I totally forgot I was talking to....."him". 

His view on marriage....I just wanted to slash his throat. I mean, for surely he's not gonna be faithful to his wife, which I am actually cool with that. Most men or some women arent anyways, just abit of human nature....But his reasons of why he wants to get married.....is....how to say.....hahaha, shit, I couldnt even recall what he said as it just doesnt have any freaking points in his "belief" => ie my main problem with people like that. It's fine to have a belief, but pls have or make up some points in it.

Next, of coz I got offended, as he just shoved me into a cab so that the "men" could go & have fun. I feel absolutely offended. Usually, I would respect their boundaries, and left on my own accord. Hey, I am not gonna judge anyone....but dont shove me into a cab and pretend nothing is going to happen (which I didnt know if anything did happen - and not that I cared but I hated the action gutz, NO EVER a GUY fren treated me without some kind of supreme respect on such subject!!!!!!!)

Sleazy little jerk with no soul.

Good Omen?

OK, do you always come across same group of numbers alot in your life? There are movies about that but I couldnt even remember. Some wud be intrigued by the 11 11 11 thingie, but I wud be more intrigued by maybe 12 12 12 next year. But anyhow, I think each person has their unqiue group of codes.

As for me, it's always my bday, 626. And I observed it since I was very young. Everytime I look at my watch, my computer, my phone....it's very much always 626. Like just now I was talking to a potential supplier, so we skyped. Not meaning to, but as I looked, yes again it's by 6:26 am I messaged him. I counted it as a good omen esp as I talked with him. He's working with small female co-operative at his country and aims to teach the ladies to read.....I like working with people with a conscience. Anyhow, lets see how it will result in.

So what;s your code?

SecondHand Book Shop in Hong Kong

Moved back to Sheung Wan, already couple of months. Honestly, due to few shocks beginning of the year,  I was having few deep depression modes, but I guess something has been rid of and I am fine, and getting very finer. Since last month, I have been devoting more time to read and work on some projects that make me super anxious, but finding a good bookshop always calms me. When I am abit anxious, I like to go around just to smell the vintage books made from the forest.

First one is Flow- I have known of its existence for years but I never really went there for treasure hunt, esp I wasnt a prolific reader at all. However, lately I went there once every 2 weeks just to browse, they have selection of dvds, romance, spiritual, or just plain novels or many old lonely planets (which I swear by everytime I go solo elsewhere, I dont think it needs to be updated ones anymore, unless U need the particular phone no or so, maybe U cud even search online to verify with modern technology), I was abit excited to find Jung & Ouspensky books there, as I dont think normal Page One would carry the old collection anymore.But they have so many so many books which somehow would make one feel dizzy when you step in, though I think they try to organize at best.......and guess that's why they call themselves Flow, as it's kinda freeflow spirit. I managed to visit their upper floor with even more disorganized setting corner, but for someone like me, I luv it, as I could smell the vintage paper. Yes one of my feitshes. :D

However, they are moving by end of the month, but address not known yet, shud be somewhere in Hollywoord road. If you are interested, you can still drop by within these 2 weeks or call - 2964-9483, or find from http://www.facebook.com/flowbookshop?sk=info for more info.

2nd one is Book Attic - I esp like the ambiance there. It's very organized & clean. I talked to the owner Jennifer and she told me that she would carefully clean every book before she put on shelves. Indeed, even books that are really old & very classic could be found there very clean & erect. I could find some really interesting classics in very old editions. I am not a collector, and dont know if they are of any collector value, but I think holding those classic hardback (only cud find in university library) already give me some goosebumps. Imagining the history - gosh, yum!

It was originally in Wan Chai and just moved itself to Soho area. Elgin Street 2, just abit diagonally from Sahara, and 7-11. The entrance next to the outdoor food hawker place. Tel: 22593103. 

They even have weekly or monthly (I forgot) book or poetry reading, but I am not a fan of reading class, though maybe I would join one day just to rub off some intellectual energy from them.

Do go & have a look. I have many books in my iphone kindle, but there's nothing like holding a treasure on your hand.....:)

I had a thought

While I was shopping for my household stuff which I didnt do it for a while.

I thought to myself - I have good genes, how come I dont want to have a kid?

hahahaahah..........maybe I should so I can create another butterfly gang in this world.

Just a thought. No...I am too old for that by now.

I think Id rather influence other pple's kids. hahahahahaahah

:P