My Memory Sucks!!!

Do you sometimes feel like you mix up the memories of where you meet certain people? This always happened to me. When I first came back to HK, I walked on the street - I saw faces or people or friends who greeted me..............I got confused if I knew them from HK? S'pore? Melbourne? KL? China? Or even some travellers I bumped into during the trips to Cambodia or Laos. Or they are just friends of my other friends.

Yesterday, I heard a bad news. Someone I was supposed to know in Australia passed away. He should be very young. But I got no recollection of who this person is? Am I seriously a bitch? I wasnt, actually, when I was in OZ. I was very gullible, naive, thou complicated & deep thinker - yet maybe instrinsically I am a bitch. How could I not remember someone whom I might have seen every week in a church fellowship & he used to hang out with my friend's ex - and my fren & ex were always hanging out with me!!??

Maybe, I could indeed let go of past memory. I used to be very good at remembering every detail of my memory - I saw it as a duty to remember, to be precise. However, I realized it's actually a bad thing - so I started deleting details. Well, of coz I would remember important details.

After 10 years back in HK, I have become less confused. But now, another problem surfaces - Oh, I met this person from this friend or that friend or at a party or at another networking meeting? Man, I am not paid to remember people's faces and I am bad with names. Very bad. I need to see the name written down to indeed remember. So, if you introduce me to your frenz, I would surely make them very happy but pls ask them not to ask me what's their name, as I am 99.9% sure - I WONT REMEMBER.

Shutter Island

I didnt sleep as I got morning meeting.....I was afraid I couldnt get up. Anyways, as some may know, my lack of sleep does sometimes spark crazy creativity and bad spelling. Shit, I shud have studied advertising or something - those pple dont sleep and they are bad in vocab.

Anyways, I watched Shutter Island. To my amazement, it's pretty damn good. I never liked "prison" drama so I never watched Prison Break. I wasnt fond of Leonardo, thou I would go to see most of his films. This one - his performance was fantastic. He got the neurotic look going on. 

And the suspense was very well done. Some parts of the "dreaming" or "Hallucination" scenes were shot really great. I thought to myself, it must be done by a great director.....oh yea, By Martin Scorsese. Man, he's 68 yo but he still got alotta projects going on!!! 

Sometimes, it's great to see a movie because you know which director is in it. Like this case, it would be great to have no idea like me. As I am not fond of this Martin.....I glanced through the movies he directed, didnt like. Esp, I so digusted by The Departed, which I fell asleep half way, which is something I rarely do. He so didnt get the concept of Infernal Affairs - he & the cast did suck jobs in there. Sorry, I like the HK version too much!!!

Do grab a dvd. Worth your time.

I hate chinese thinking 2

Same as the other one beginning, I am not exactly sure about if chinese tend to do it more, but then it kinda instills in chinese minds. Never praise someone. By saying something negative "constructive criticism" make someone grow.

I hate my parents and my whole family for that. All I could remember about them is nothing constructive but destructive. I love them, too. Actually more like pity love. How sad sometimes for so many folks who are not qualified to be parents in this modern world to be parents. And they were parents of five, plus with another 10 dogs and other freaking animals - I had a crocodile before.

Well, yes, I already let it go. Many people would say "suen la" (aka never mind, let it go). I do. But honestly, I am just being honest here. What's wrong with being truthful and honest? Not that I am going to revenge.

Pls dont misunderstand I am not proud of being chinese. Actually, I am very much. I dont want to be of any other nationality actually. But the fact is, many chinese in HK are so old-schooled, so outdated, so boring, so shitty dead zombie-like - but then pointing fingers at people like me who dare to be different, or who try to be different. WHY WHY WHY??? People like to step on others? Is it the other way to survive???

I forbid my mom telling my sis kids any negative words such as ":not smart enough" "stupid" "Slow"..................as best as I can. I am just so frustrated sometimes, if you know what I mean. How hard it is to get rid of the negative words out of your mind from your loved ones. The outside people only add on more coals, which are not the origin.

Anyways, pls I beg of you. Say something nice to your spouse, your friends. Dont u think that I dont know my weakness? Why stress on it when I already know? Your family, your kids, your friends, your staff - THEY KNOW (most likely anyways) - even they dont know, I believe being a simple minded person is god-sent-gift!

Thanks to 3 very important people at various stages in my life, they were the ones who just speak of kind comment honestly - I know they see my weakness too, but they know I know my weakness too.

1. My high school teacher Mr Pong - he told me I was a potential child. I could achieve great things.

2. My room-mate Ellie - who reinforce my confidence in believing I was indeed a cool & creative person. keke

3. My best friend Leo - who speaks kindly to me and has been encouraging to my every move.

Not that I need to hear something positive all the time. I am saying, dont speak negatively all the time.

Guess what! I bet many people misunderstand my meaning already. haha

Sorry, this week is an anger week. I am kinda venting them all out.

I hate some old chinese thinking

I cant honestly say whatever I am going to say is purely chinese thinking....maybe it's general earth people thinking. But well, to me, it seems more fucking chinese MEN (esp) speaks to me like these. I want to tell them, DIL NEI LO MO!

Are you sure you want to get married, as you know, you are going to be 40 soon?!

HUH!?!? For one, I am not thinking much about GETTING MARRIED AGAIN. And do you think all women ONLY goal is to get married????????????????????????????????????????? DIU!

When I tell them I am not actually thinking much about getting married, honestly, they start to get offended by further saying..........

Forget finding one.

I think old traditional chinese men, they are all so fucking idiotic. Is it a problem being a tough woman who is hitting menopause in another 10-15 years? I dont see myself begging to get a man - my goal in life isnt to get married, have kids. My goal, on the contrary to them, is to influence the world. Why chinese have to put everything in such negative tones????????? Is it so edifying for them to feel they could step on people?

Lastly, whatever people or even friends comment on me. I know my universe and my nature. This is something I gotta stress. I dont buy into fate. I buy into faith in goodness. Whatever you say negatively about me, I dont really care. And dont give me the "constructive crisitsm' crab. But pls look into yourself first. Have I commented you negatively? Why some people just want to dig through nothingness to stress a tiny character hiccup, people have to amplify it. But pls, dont you think you got issues too? Have I non-stop surfacing them? 

I am hating some people more.

Finally, I managed to cry.....

As a child, till adolescence till come-of-age, I always loved to cry. I was a crying baby.

These 2 years, it was so difficult for me to cry. I wanted to, but I couldnt.

Tonite, after hearing something, I couldnt control my tears, I cried for hours........................

I think it's great finally I managed to cry. I was just fulfilling my purpose - to cry. It's so good to really cry, unstoppably cry..........anyways, I just want to tell u, I am feeling so good now, becoz

I had a good cry!

After 3 months

After 3 months of a new addition of canine - Lottie - into my life, I struggled for the first two months. As her character is abit like Shadow - NAUGHTY & CRAZY (also just like me)!! I at first cried because I couldnt understand why all my dogs, the two of them, were so handful and chaotic creative. I felt exhausted every second just looking at both of them, messing up my every inch of home.

Lottie (aka Lor Lor)

But now, I am starting to enjoy both of their presence. With shadow alone, it was great, afterall we have been together for like 10 years. Now, even Shadow is adjusting to the new addition Lottie. They never fight, it's a good thing. They both sleep peacefully with me, and need to be around me all the time. Life....without them would be so empty & less smile..

Shadow (aka Shadow BB)

I love them so so much!!!!

My high Heel days r coming......

I went jogging abit tonite. I only jogged like maybe 3 times few weeks ago, then I just go swimming instead. But tonite, I wanted to test my stamina if it had any improvement.......IT DID!!!!! I only needed to stop twice for my targetted track, while before it would be like 4-5 stops. My target by end Aug, I could do one whole round w/o stopping.......

I find that swimming is harder to stretch. While for my jogging, since I am so afraid I would hurt myself, I keep doing alotta streching......but anyhow my left knee usually had some pain or discomfort if I walked on stairs or jog, but tonite it was totally fine.

I am really excited to see my high heel days coming back soon. I promise you, by Oct, you will see a perfect Dawn with beaming skin & smile. ^^

arrr......I am OLD

Shit, was looking at myself at my friend's album - well, we went to this private cooking thingie, supervised by a 5 star chef at Sogo Club (it was super fun) - I looked so freaking old. Like my mom. Shit, my mom looks younger than me. I really need to start taking care of my skin & my appearance........I couldnt let these 2 years shit life wear onb my face any fucking longer.

Pewh, thanks for listening!!!

On educating Kids

I dont have kids and I am not planning to. Unless one fine day, I am wealthy & married, I want to adopt kids instead. I want 3 kids - african baby, Beijing baby and a russian baby. Hoho......but nah, I prefer to be god-mothers for all my friends' kids. :P

But I know quite abit about kid education as I am involved in tutoring my sister's kids-Uma & Morris They are handful, as they were born with Lok's blood. Lok's blood I believe is cursed. Anyways.

It's really difficult to train HK kids so to speak, esp the standard & mentality of school teachers are not upto standard at all. I doubt many of them have a vision to create a better world. I once wanted to be a teacher, as I always have till now still this mentality to change the world. What if I couldnt do it myself, I could actually influence the kids......hohohoh! Anyways, we cant blame the teachers too much either, as they were never influenced before.

One thing I disgust with the school education in HK is that everything the teachers say is right! I try to instill a training to my sis kids that they can actually challenge whatever I say - of coz they wouldnt do so, as really how dare them to challenge a teacher. I am trying.......no one is absolutely right, this is my message! Why they got this idea they need to be 100% obedient? It must be from parents & teachers. Sigh! I doubt I could influence both of them to have a vision to change the world. They are not of that degree of calibre, though I am still putting a slight hope on the younger boy Morris.

Really, if you never make mistakes, how well do you know what's right or wrong. But, HK parents & school will never allow kids to make mistakes. Such a depressing thing.

I hope one day if you have a kid, give them good insights, train them to be a visionary individual, allow them to make mistakes. Dont just throw the words - U r so stupid! (I live with this phrase all my life - of coz purely from my family. Honestly, since I was 3, I always felt I was different and they are the just abunch of idiots - roaming around aimlessly, stupidly, sheepishly)

Yes I remember there was something once a teacher put it - chinese always say to their family : BE careful. Or Bring an umbrella. OR You should have brought a jacket, see now U got a cold.  Chinese always say - you should have, you should have.....................While, the west would say: Have fun! (though I am now a grown-up, the above events are not entirely true - but the gizt of it is true). Just being stay-put vs trying spirits.

I am so not putting down chinese. Actually east philosophy is so darn good - e.g. patience. Patience means giving it time. But if giving it time without trying - then it becomes stale. While, trying without giving it time, it becomes a crushed peanut. (zeal without knowledge is heading to hell too) Yes I am trying to instill a East/West fusion to my sis kids. I hope I succeed. It's really tough when you are trying to fight against the whole universe.

Arrr...................enough of kids talk. Had lunch yet? ^^

A new view on Depression

Well, this is like a cancerous word to many. O, you are depressed, you should see a DOCTOR and get a prescription! Lets look at it in a new better way.

If the form of depression handicaps your every move - well, yes maybe you need some help. But I believe it has a grace period for it. I went through depression stages at various degree. Actually I went to see psychiatrist, doctor or councellor at various states, but to my amaze, I find them "useless" and actually they could very well be more depressed than me. No one asked me to go, but I went there for help. Honestly, seeing people more depressed make me cure........abit nuts of myself here. However, it goes down to how much you are HONEST with yourself too. 

We adore lying to ourselves.

I believe my depression started when I was trying to be honest with myself. I  saw (around 16-18 yo) it as the pivot of being a true human and the ultimate suvivial kit. That of coz as you would know had come with a price. Depression was just a side product of seeing the true side of yourself - the ugliness of hearts, even when I was a teen. By the time I looked around the world, the world was filled with filth, dust, shits, rubbish and many satans - then I was collapsed into a pit, I hid there for months. I even experienced a borderline nervous breakdown moment - it was a trance state and they gave you a choice. Everything is about choice. Of coz I chose to NOT go down - even I knew going down that path wouldnt make me suffer as much, and might very well make me very happy (if I never attempt "cure").

Why I am talking about depression?

As I blogged here couples of days ago, I talked about writing a book. And I am now really trying to scribble down the core concept. It's very very hard to construct. -while building a  complcated concept, and then insert my own dream-sets into the book. Then, I suddenly remember and maybe I should say I praise about my 18-year-ago depression. I wish I could find back all my entries then. They were all really original thoughts - I never studied any philosopher or psychogists theories ever before. Honestly, I always thought my thoughts were so much better & powerful - NOT bragging here. I believe my old entries could give me very good insights on my existing struggling concept.

Then, I realize.......

Depression is actually a good tool to tap into your untapped brain or even your heart!! As some of us discussed before, when we are "moody" or "depressed", we tend to write more because we feel more. We wont usually talk to our hearts, asking how we feel today! But when you are hit with some moodiness/depression, you would really try to ask your heart what the heck is happening. Right? Bet most should have gone through these but whether in such a talking mode with onself is upto different individual.

Only compassion & depression could be a bridge to get to your heart, my current belief.

Anyhows, I am not really in that "depression" state anymore so I rely heavily on research. I am still trying to tap into my brain to create the concept. My old me could have done it so easily as she was so connected with herself. Ummm, I hope sometimes soon I could find not only compassion or depression could tap into the core being, some other emotion could too.

So in short, more controlled depression isnt a bad thing afterall. Sometimes we can embrace it with thanks since it sparks us inspiration.

Note: oh yes, there's another form of depression - I would call it self-pity depression. It's very common amongst us. They feel deprived, so they get depressed, later turn into anger. I always dont get it why some would get angry when they wouldnt have as many toys as other kids when they were young. I agree, they should get depressed too due to their stupidity & uselessness!

Inception

Actually I saw few DVD & movie but these 2 weeks I am not really in the mood  of saying much. But want to drop a note regarding Inception.

First off, I luv Chris Nolan. He's so dark so I like...I like it very much. I like dark-mattered mind. This Inception movie, I can say is indeed interesting but as for me it's not mind-blowing enough. 

Leonard Dicarpio is a great actor. I have seen few of his movies, but I think they picked the wrong lead actor for this one. I guess when you have to discuss a deep concept, you need somewhat a more intellectual with action flavour actor - though I cant suggest another one yet. So maybe ie why he was picked....haha. 

Ellen Page as the dream set designer to me is even more unconvincing. She looks non-smart, non-creative. She doesnt have the spark of making something complex.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Artur (Leonardo's assistant in the movie) is a superb actor too. He was the lead in 500 days of Summer. I must say he stole alotta screen time from Leonardo. Honestly, I didnt like him as an Arthur too, just dont feel the chemistry between Leonardo & him.

I am not Chris Nolan's brain so I am not exactly sure about the real plot. But from what I have seen, it's not something very complex. Though the concept is complex. Ie why I am starting to read this mutual dreaming research. It has alot to deal with the untapped brain, which is something I am deeply intrigued with.

But still, I highly recommend this movie. At least, let us think alittle....it's not really a movie that easy-go-funny style. Though it's not really that difficult to get it either. After the movies, I overheard many couple's conversation "wow, so deep, so complicated, I dont understand" - it's just because not many directors dare to make a movie that make people - stop/pause and think. Of coz, Chris Nolan has the advantage of getting big budget to hire in-stars. O well, hence HIGH FIVE to this movie - HK people should go to theater for this one!

I am starting on a new thing...

Well, actually it's inspired by a dream. I am starting to write a book! It's a sci-fi based, as most dreams I could remember vividly are pretty sci-fi. Now, the more I ponder over it, the more I realize most of these dreams have something to do with water and end-time. Water dripping by a slope, hurricane water monsters, underwater training....................I am going to devote my time to combine all these dreams into a sci-fi book. Of coz, my ultimate wish since very young was to make a movie.

Wow, hope I could be brave enough one day to show it here for all of you guyz.

6 Aug

I believe in fairness & unfairness of the world. Humans are never fair. The universe is always fair.

That's why I am never jealous of what people have - money, power, fame, even beauty. Those that constantly nagging & having a sense of deprivation. I just so dont get why people always complain of what they dont have, or why other people's parents are rich to make these pple something, while they dont have rich folks, or why they have no umbrellas while raining. HEY let the rain drop on you wont kill you, I want to tell these people. Why not think of - wow, it's good I wear a black top instead of a white top in the midst of dogshit raining?

Recent case of Amina Mariam has aroused some fever anger within some Hong Kong people. It's not to me about rich & famous, though it surely is something of a substance about this case. I understand & accept about unfair treatment towards rich & powerful. It's not even new news. However, this case to us is borderline  corruption. Honestly, if she looks prettier or hotter, I wouldn have let it go. hahahaah. Yet, with the modern technology, everything she did was captured. Come on, judge, you think we would let this go. It just aroused more anger with that stupid sentences - allowing her to head to US for some psychology retreat? Might as well, tell us all, she has been sent to Bali for a tan!!?? How come people could be so stupid? I meant the judge.

I do not see the point of arguing justice, as within law, there's no real justice (with my limited knowledge of law)...:P And there's no righteous politics as within the boundary of politics, it's only greed for power. My father taught me this. I so believe & abide in it. I sometimes wish I could be even more dark, less emotional driven - I believe I could very well be a cult leader (as my roomate once said).

To me, I am going to protest on 15 Aug, not coz I want justice. But more, coz how can an educated non-hot non-pretty bitch got away with this. She deserves some jail time. Not 10 years la......even 10 weeks will bring a smile to my face!

2009 till now

2009 was bombful. 

2010 is dreadful.

I think those who have known me for over 3 years would know I am a very different Dawn compared to maybe lets say when I was in 2003. I was constantly at war with my emotion. My EQ was always the worst one. My AQ though was pretty good, considering I was the project manager at one stage.

Now, I find myself so patient. So quiet in my ambitions. High in EQ. AQ not sure yet as not yet tested for some time. But I cant deny, I am somewhat abit exhausted, abit tired with all the challenges I gotta face these 2 years. I know everyone has problems, but for me, I was more or less alone facing all kinds of trials, which some are very difficult to tell or confide with anyone. Thou, I tried my best to record the end result "happiness" "sadness" "suicidal tendency" "depression" here, I today feel tired. But still hopeful. Anyways, one thing that never changes is I am extremely extreme person. From star sign or palm reading to personality analysis to even Enneagram................................

I believe, strongly believe, I wont die now. There's no way I can die now. I need to press on. I seriously want to show the world how someone like me could stand up again...............alone. 

I hope I will be rich very soon, so I can grant all those who have supported me unconditionally  & selflessly a grand trip. hahaa, this is one of my goals, actually. Anyways, I feel good to say this, even though it seems so far away (not really.....just abit of time & luck). 

Anyhow, with all the happening in my family & my business as of today, I feel tired but I am going for a swim in half an hour. I dont want to lose the momentum of doing something ever again. Depression is one that destroys ones motivation & most of all the momentum. I luv this word "momentum" alot. Anyhows, thanks for reading........:)

More "leftover" Women than MEN

http://hk.dv.nextmedia.com/template/dv_channel/index.php?fuseaction=dv15.player&mode=section&id=all&range=d&dv_iss=20100730&sec_id=4104&art_id=14293438&av_id=14293763

It's such a boring news but again it says there are more LEFTOVER women than men!

What does it imply? 18K men go to China to get married - coz we women are more educated?! Another debate.

But this kinda news threatens women. I dont like it. So more women just pick anyone to get married. All I see is vicious cycle. Anyhows.

In my next life, if I have a choice, I still want to become a woman. As in the view of progress, development & vision-forward, I see women going to rule the world soon (hey, I didnt say this. My ex ex ex said that!!! I always find him to be one of the most intelligent in HK......hahahahahah)

Sometimes I just dont get it..............

Two people, who have gone through hardship. Flip when there's money involved. It's surely not NEW news. But then, when a good person suddenly becomes a monster, I really, say I am so naive, innocent.......I really cant take it, esp they are your closed ones.

I want to say more, but the horror is too near to describe. I cant describe it. I dont understand the psyche, usually I am pretty good at quieting knowing one's intention of one's behaviour. But this one is abit out of reach. I get why some want to have it all. I just dont get how a kind and good person maybe in his "previous" life (era), could say certain things, act certain ways - becoming a monster that you would only watch it on TV (usually you would laugh - impossible for such beings exist!)

Anyways..................if you pray, pls pray for my family. No specific points, but just safety to us ALL.

Me & My Victoria Park

I remember, when I was very very little, I went there to swim. My uncle took me. I went to a gent's toilet to get changed, I remember.

I remember, I almost got drown there, despite no adult actually could remember it.

I remember, I was told about the Queen Victoria's staue which could walk at night, when I was very  little. That freaked me out, till now, actually.

I remember, I played the long-lost-now-found drama with my sister there when I was little, as I always felt I wasnt my parents' kid.

I remember, I got very exicted to learn I could go there everytime my aunt suggested. Becoz, I rarely went anywhere.

I remember, every mid-autum festival, my parents & aunt & uncle would take us to that little green pasture (big in HK) to play candels. My uncle made a gigantic rabbbit - we would always be so proud taking the candled rabbit roaming around the whole park, just to really show off.

I remember, I went to the park alot with my classmates. We took pictures. I had long hair.

I remember, I often went there to play squash & tennis with my F.3 friend. Now, I no longer........

I remember alot.....somehow, somewhere, you will always bypass there. Now, alot has changed. Really. But I am back there now 2 to 3 times a week. I am luving that old swimming pool. I luv their changing room. I just realize I really luv it there (not on any Sunday though). Many memories lost but some left. Still good, after so many years! :D

The match-making scene in HK

Was talking to some galz & some guyz regarding the match-making scenes in HK. I believe most of you are already attached, married, divorced or even dating few dudes or chicks!! hoho.......

Do you know that there are age limit for everything?

1. If you want to apply for a working holiday in asutralia, sorry miss, U r over 30! You are not ELIGIBLE! "shit, does it mean I must be so successful in my job that I dont need one in AUS?? or  I must be having no interest to have a "WORKING HOLIDAY", or I am just too old to be competitive!!??"

2. Speed-dating. Galz, if U r turning 33 this year, then quick, go join as many as possible. WHAT THE FUCK!!?? I gotta pay few hundred to thousand of dollars just to attend such whirldating thing, allowing me few mins with each person. WHAT"S fucking MORE - the guyz are usually bald & SHORT!!!!!

(I never been to one as I am too OLD or too GOOD/HOT for that.....whatever it's a truth!)

3. I wasnt aware there were indeed match-making service in HK, still......:P And the fact is you have to pay few thousands dollars to get, lets say roughly 3 dates. 

WAKE UP!!! 

So I "argued" with some guyz N some galz - which kind of men who could pay thousand of dollars, have a decent job, look OK, financially stable, a gentlemen, mid 30-mid 40 --require such a service to find a woman?? 3 dates? Men are very practical. 3 dates??? To them (the good ones) - I would suggest them to find an escort! 

Honestly, my views. It's an inevitable fact that everyone is getting old. Very much depending which year you were born in, post 80? post 90? So? Many times, we allow the world to make us suffer, very much likely so, where you were young, you mocked at the pre-50, pre-60 - now it's your turn. Hey, ligthen up. U could stay hot, there are plastic surgery, botox, laser, etc etc.........................

A True Rat Story

I was born in the year of Rat. 

When I was born, my parents were renting a room just above our store. According to their recollection, there was a rat infestation when I got home from the hospital. It made me think I must be a rat queen in previous life. After staying there for few years, we moved to our existing old chinese bldg. Yes, there was rat infestation too. I was always home alone, in regardless how old I was. I saw them running around between the shelves & my great grandmom's room. Until now, I hate those aluminum shelves. Dont get it why the fuck they gotta be there. Anyhow, I always screamed to the rats - they would stop for a minute then kept running again. Honestly, now I am not sure if they really existed or it was my imagination. Also, with that so many rats, how come we still have our big toes. Dont they like kids toes? Should they be already eaten off by those huge rats, vicariously running around?

Ok for long intro. The true rat story comes.

2 years ago, I moved to GZ to start on a new position that was specially created for me. I dont get it why bosses like to create a title for me. I am not that good anyways. I rented a hotel-managed apartment, totally new & cheap as well. It was on 26th floor. Basically, I felt pretty safe there as I assume there should be no insects, no rats, no thieves, no even human - as the occupancy wasnt full at the time I moved in.

I brought quite abit of stuff from HK, clothes, food, instand noodles, etc. Inside the flat, there were quite a few built-in compartments, so in order to feel I was occupying the whole place, I put a bit of things in every compartment. I noticed a strange opening (man-made) at the kitchen cupboard. That opening was connected to the ceiling (the central air-con) to the kitchen shelf. I wasnt really paying much concern there, so I put a korean spicy cup noodle - Shin into the top compartment - it is a wrong compartment to put a SHIN noodle. I got no clue why I put it there.

Few weeks later, my friend & my ex came to GZ to visit me, so they stayed in my place. And I think my friend wasnt feeling well, so I was looking around for panadol, hence opening the SHIN compartment. I saw my SHIN cup noodle was ripped open. The SHIN spicy flavour sachet was also ripped open. I WAS SHOCKED and moved a step back. And whe  I came to my senses, I realized it must be rats doing. That's the only explanation. I freaked. I seriously freaked. I dont even remember how helpless I felt, despite my ex was there. As usual, he made some stupid comments which I flared. I flared. 

As a personality, many say I am a bitch, or arrogant, or tough/strong, whatever. But actually I am very ah Q.

I saw it as a lucky sign to realize it with people around me, despite their stupidity & uselessness to a situation. I of coz went to the front desk to get them DO SOMETHING! But basically, they gave me more stupid answers or catching-the-rat method, which to my horror, basically I stumped, I freaked, I screamed in front of the front desk. As they recommended me to use a rat sticker. My friends, to those who are reading this, DONT USE STICKER. You'd rather a rat eat your toe then using a sticker to catch the rat. Now I want to puke.

As a logical person & crime solver lover, I started going through everything inside the flat to see if the rat did do some damages on my everything, or if they hid somewhere. And, I deliberately put all the plastic bags I had around the flat, just to make sure I would be alarmed if something stepped on it, be it a ghost or a rat! I realized there was nothing, no rats in my flat. How Come?!?!?! There were more food, delicacies just right under the SHIN compartment. I just couldnt get it. 

After weeks of waiting for a rat to jump to my bed at night - it's my imaginery horror story. I concluded that there was no rats in my flat, but what happened to the SHIN cup noodle. The truth is I couldnt give you a correct answer, except. If you indeed want to fight off rats, put SHIN noodles around your house! I believe rats dislike spicy food. They wouldnt be able to take the SHIN spicy powder. Ie my only conclusion.

When I was packing & planning to move out from the flat, I was even more sure that the rat was coming via the central air-con. I saw their trails above my wardrobe, which was separated by a glass. I am glad I was so ignorant to realize it on the last day. Ignorance is a bliss.

Finally.....

Trying 2 weeks of exercise, like swimming, jogging, boxing. I finally could sleep before the DAWN. I really couldnt get it before why people could feel so exhausted to a point of hitting the sack rite away after exercise. I think I got a good taste of it after my boxing session last nite. Honestly, I was kind of slacking yesterday while doing it. Basically the coaches were almost to a point of ignoring me as I was like a brat not wanting to do anything, esp with my slow, unco-ordinated punching. But while they were ignoring me, I was punching my own way - it was kinda of relaxing. I hate coaches. Anyhow. I think I bottle up too much anger within for everything, for everyone. While I was punching, I felt like I was killing some people, some events, some moments. But I was too tired & unco-ordinated to punch further. So next Tue, I am going to punch some more, just to kill off more people, more events, more moments.